How To Move On?

[Susan]

How do you move on and get past a long term relationship? We were to be married and broke it off 1 week before the wedding...just didn't seem right but now that 3 months have gone by I miss him dearly and want to try again. Problem is he won't return calls or emails...we both agreed but feel it was a mistake. Am I stupid to look back and was fate telling me it wasn't meant to be. Was it better to find out before we married had kids and divorced??? Will there ever be another soul mate for me...I can't even picture myself with another it makes me sick to my stomach...what should I do????

[Tony T]

If prior to getting married you don't feel like it's absolutely the most important thing you could possibly do and it is the right thing to do beyond the shadow of a doubt, you are absolutely obligated to yourself to call it off. You did the right thing.

 

It is just human to second guess ourselves after we are away from a situation and wonder if we did the right thing. Just think back on those days when you made the decision, how you felt at that time, and why you called it off.

 

You need to take as much time as you need to heal from this ordeal. It is much better if you don't communicate with your ex...and it is good that he doesn't return calls or Email. You shouldn't be initiating them. it is very difficult to heal if you have contact with each other. He knows what he's doing. He has not cut things off our of anger but out of a need to heal his emotions and move on.

 

Once you have gotten past all the emotional stuff, you will be more ready and capable than ever to find the RIGHT person for a lifetime mate. You asked what to do when you picture yourself with another and it makes you sick..just pop a rolaid and you'll forget it pretty rapidly. These feelings are only temporary. You have my word.

 

You have a long life ahead of you!!! I hope you will get used to making difficult decisions and standing by them, being comfortable with them, and not looking back.

 

Always go with your feelings. I can't tell you how many of my friends got married...and on their wedding day they didn't feel good about it...and they are now divorced.

 

YOU ARE A VERY SMART LADY!!!