louisemc Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 I really need advice about a guy that I dated and I hope that you don't mind me sending you this email. I dated this guy for a while and now he wants to come back into my life. He used to show up late for dates all the time and when I got angry he told me to shut up as there were lots of other women he could date. Also he was mean with money and hardly ever bought himself new clothes (he always wore old clothes sometimes even with holes in them) and never bought me presents even though I bought him lots of things. He was really intolerant and used to complain all the time about stupid things. His brother was a drug addict and used to say perverted things to me sometimes and he would never stand up for me. We booked a holiday and at the last minute he cancelled. I was so disappointed! Afterwards I went on a holiday myself and when I came back he told me that he missed me, we then went to a restaurant and afterwards back to my apartment where we slept together. Afterwards he said that it was that (sex) that he missed. I was really hurt! Also he kept telling me that I was lucky to have him and that I couldn't find better than him. Do you think I can probably do better? I am quite pretty and have a good job and lots of friends. He dropped out of school at 14 and comes from the wrong side of town. His family are not very honest. They bought claim invalide benefit even though there is nothing wrong with them and they work on the side. Also the reason he gave for leaving me were pathetic. He said that I was annoying him because I talked too loudly and criticized his driving and worried too much about stupid things. He has also left other girlfriend in the past for ridiculous reasons (one girlfriend who crashed her car and asked him to fix it and another girlfriend who forgot to bring her jacket with her on a night out and complained about the cold). He smokes canabis. Do you think that smoking canabis would make him nasty/intolerant? Or do you think he has psychological problems? Do you think that I would be very foolish to give him a second chance? Do you think the reasons he gave for leaving me were good reasons? Please reply! Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Durden Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 You would be completely mad to give him another chance!!! You can do much better. Tell the pill popping layabout to **** off! Link to post Share on other sites
Layla Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Sorry but I have to say this: When I read your post I realise how small my problems with my boyfriend are!! I do not want to sound arrogant but don't even think about letting this guy into your life again!! I was with someone before who used to be quite nasty, I dumped him and then found my current boyfriend of two years. I couldn't be happier as he loves me and treats me really nice. We have our fights every now and then but try to never hurt each other or "lose it"! Let this guy go or you will miss that great opportunity of meeting someone you really love and who really loves you! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by louisemc He smokes canabis. Do you think that smoking canabis would make him nasty/intolerant? Or do you think he has psychological problems? Do you think that I would be very foolish to give him a second chance? Do you think the reasons he gave for leaving me were good reasons? Please reply! Thank you. yes yes yes no he sounds like a narcissistic, loser, manipulator, lose him fast! Link to post Share on other sites
lostangel39 Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 [color=red][/color] get rid of him you can find someone so much better you sound so nice someone is waiting for someone special like you Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 I was actually wondering why you gave him a 'first' chance????? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Even if you could not do better, dump him! No relationship is definitely better than a relationship with a jerk like that!!! Girl, what are you thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 No, cannabis does not make people nasty. Cannabis makes people giggly, silly, airheaded and hungry for junk food. This guy was nasty way before he ever picked up his first joint. He must have some unknown qualities going for him because otherwise, he sounds like just about the biggest loser I've heard about recently. If he wants back in to your life, just say, "Thanks for the laugh" and keep on walking. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Originally posted by louisemc He smokes canabis. Do you think that smoking canabis would make him nasty/intolerant? Many people who smoke marijuana aren't pricks. It's possible that weed turned him into a dick, or it's possible that he was a dick before weed. Either way, it's irrelevant. Or do you think he has psychological problems? Again, unless he's paying you--irrelevant. It's not your responsibility to cure him. Do you think that I would be very foolish to give him a second chance? Foolish? Perhaps. Emotionally masochistic? Most definitely. Do you think the reasons he gave for leaving me were good reasons? Again, it totally doesn't matter. You're focusing on things that you should not be focused on. He mistreated you, you couldn't ever rebuild that barrier completely, even with the most talented hypnotist. Please resist your feminine urges to take on a "project", and find a guy who's already well-built. Link to post Share on other sites
purpleknif67 Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 What an idiot....I love it when some of the biggest losers use that tired old excuse of "you are so lucky to have me" or "you cannot do any better than me". What should you do? Let us run down the list.....He smokes a lot of pot, he dresses like a bum, he has a lousy personality, his brother is a pervert who comes on to you and he just wants you for sex....hmmm...I am checking my crystal ball, DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author louisemc Posted March 2, 2004 Author Share Posted March 2, 2004 Do you think that at 30 I am running out of time to find Mr. Right? Do you think that perhaps I might never meet anyone else? I am attractive, tall, thin and have a good personality and lots of interests and have a fairly good job. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Okay, that's it! I cannot read anymore of these posts - I probably need a break... louisemc honey, re-read your post. Imagine that it was a good friend or your daughter writing to you - see if you can find ANYTHING in the post that would make anyone believe that this man was worthy of a first let alone a second chance, one single thing!! Seriously, I couldn't make out if this post was for real, it seemed like you'd sat down and tried to invent the worst boyfriend in the world. I can't run through the list of the horrible things you've outlined about your ex (too depressing), dyer and purple have touched on the main things. You must be mad to even consider taking this guy back; sure he's a man, he has (I presume) two legs, two arms and a dick - unfortunately the latter seems to be on his shoulders. Don't believe him, you can do better, hell, my left butt cheek can do better! Run like the wind. Really, I need a break!!! Link to post Share on other sites
purpleknif67 Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Look...I totally know what you mean, I am in my mid-thirties and sometimes I let that "I am running out of time" thing cloud my thoughts and sometimes it makes me do crazy things....check some of my old postings. It sounds like you are a great woman and I bet you have loads of common sense but you must never forget that you deserve the best, and that doesn't necessarily mean someone who is the richest or the best looking but someone who loves themselves and loves you. Now, how to stay on that path, and not let those little destructive tapes run through your head, I wish I could give you some tips. I am searching for them myself. Of course you want to meet someone, but I think it is better to be alone than with someone like the guy you described above. Can you imagine the financial and psychological troubles he would put you through if you two were married? I wish I could say more than "stay strong" but that is all I can think of, right now.... Link to post Share on other sites
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