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I weighed 53 kilos AT THE END of the day!!! WHOO HOOO!!

 

I have basically reached my goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

that is 116.6 lbs by the way - which looks great on my curvy build.

 

I am going to maintain soon - I just want to be sure that 53 kilos is what I weigh at the end of the day, and that I am under that when I first wake up.

 

 

My hard work and IRRITABILITY of losing those last few vanity pounds has paying off !

 

 

I am very satisfied and do not want to lose a single lbs mroe after I reach a solid 53.

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Dragged myself outside today to run 3 miles. Even though I was drunk and had eaten 16 chicken wings for dinner and it was 40 degrees and windy.

 

Speaking of drinking, I wonder how detrimental it is to drink a couple of beers every night. Like with dinner or whatever. I really like beer. Is that bad?

 

A couple of beers every night can certainly have a detrimental effect on your physique. It probably won't affect your performance much, unless you count having extra weight has detrimental to performance, which is not that much of a stretch for long distance running.

 

Getting drunk is hands down one of the worst thing you can do to your body for both performance and physique.

 

Btw, I really like beer too. :p People like us just have to be honest with ourselves and decide whether or not our goals can be met with or without the occasional brewskis.

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eerie_reverie

Last night I was supposed to run 6 miles, but I had to go make friends with my friends.

 

So in lieu of a run, I walked around a lot... from my spot at the bar to the bathroom. And in lieu of dinner, I had about 20 beers, which I spent all night throwing up.

 

Ah, Tuesdays.

 

The upside is, I feel so thin today. I love the day after vomiting.

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eerie_reverie

Today I brought a friend along.

 

We ran 5 miles. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack. I didn't break a sweat.

 

He said I was his role model. :D

 

I'm not used to running with other people but as my runs get longer, having a buddy now and then might be a good way to break up the monotony.

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In Leigh's honor, I'm eating sweet potato fries. :laugh:

 

 

Yay, what sprt of sweet potato did you use? I just ate a purple fleshed sweet potato ( fries) for a midnight snack:) Yeah yeah, carbs at night are of no use to your body, but I do not do it every night, and it makes no noticable diff to my weight.

 

 

 

 

PROGRESS: found my comfortabe running speed to start with, I FELT GREAT, and the hotness of a body builder I had a fling with happened to walk in front of my treadmill with a client, so endorphins + eye candy and mental imagery of great sex = good mood:)

 

 

I RAN 40 mins today:) It was the most I ever enjoyed a run, actually.

 

I saw a tiny girl with a smaller body type to me at the gym, and felt a little perturbed. I have an innate hatred of my normal body frame, and at times I feel complete and utter despair over the fact that I want to be thinner ( because I will always view it as mroe asthetically pleasing.

 

 

So I went for a run, and the run felt better than ever? Perhaps there was a correlation between feeling upset ( over skinny girl), and the running having such a contrasting effect?

 

Also, running makes me feel useful - because I am actually achieving tangiable results - running longer, faster, or simply being ABLE to run consistently, every week, without fail. Even if I am no marathon runner yet.

 

I am looking to maintain right about... now ish. I need to stop at a solid 53. That is when I basically got an eating disorder in my teens - at the 53 kilos ( 116 ) mark. Because ti is the exact weight where my body is still happy and healthy, but does not want to lose any more weight.

 

I can get away with 110 lbs - 114, and some people think it looks good, however, while it is nto emaciated on me, I am still not healthy at that weight; I do not have to look ill to be unwell.

 

Because I do not have huge bones, I do not look emaciated under 114, but 116 is my minimum. I HAVE TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE, and I cannot slip every again.

 

 

 

 

I have been strong, by the way - the hot guy I had the fling with - who happens to be physical perfection ( perfect face, perfect body he makes a living out of as a body builder, where he wins comps).

 

AND, after sleeping with him, I have to go and see his ex at the gym, who is a barbie - stick thin type. Well, she is blonde and blue eyed like me, and has the SAME NOSE as me ( not small upturned, but long and has character which is hot on an otherwise perfect body)

 

Not having a small body type ( although I am medium to small, small wrists for my height), I sometimes just.... the body image disorder I have is so predominant, that I actually would rather end my own life at times, then live with me " medium:" body type.

 

So much do I love thin body types, that I do just feel ... dark towards my own body at times. But I am channelling it into running lately, and ..

 

After today, I was able to see a blonde, skinny girl, and then go for a run, achieve a new thing ( I ran for an extra 10 mins!), and I felt so.... euphoric afterwards, and totally forgot about the said girl!

 

EEVIE - I hope you enjoyed the drink. I do not drink besides red wine on occasions, what do you drink? And do you think drinking hinders your health/fitness/ weight related goals?

 

 

I want to start actually drinking red wine more often - I do not use it to excess and go months without so much as one glass, so because I do not NEED it, I think it could be a healthy way to unwind occasionally.

 

But of course, I need alternative ways to " unwind,", such as running, a calorie free option haha. So is sex.

 

 

Actually, sex is what motivated me to lose the last 2 lbs; I had the 2 day fling with the body builder, and did not eat dinner that night cos I was with him and busy having sex, and the sex burnt calories.

 

After the sexual " motivation", I am at my goal and yay. Now I just need to meet another hot guy that also has a nice enogh personality, for me to want to have sex with occasionally:)

 

 

 

I felt hot on the treadmill today:) me and my silly medium body type still felt hot, because I realized I am at MY best weight for ME, and I am not a heealthy enough weigh to ENJOY running!

 

Where as I remember at 110 and LESS, and 5 '6 ish, I would run 30 - 45 mins, and it was so awful, that I had to imagine an imaginary fantasy land with green forrests and large trees, to get me through the unbearable pain.

 

 

Running was actually... it felt awsome today?

 

116 is the magic number. I must not go below this. I will get an eating disorder again otherwise. Fall back into it - I have a body image disorder as it stands and alwways will, but I so not starve and have nto starved myself in years.

 

I have no urge to resort to using my body to be skinny now - because I amk just so over the isolation that goes with it.

 

I am definitly making progress - I have found a fitness routine that is working for me ( TA matt dance style dvd SIX days week, pluss running).

 

yay. go me.

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Leigh

 

Congratulatiosn on your achievements.

 

Now onto more important, or rather, controversial things. :p

 

The bodybuilder!

 

What is his name? If he's won comps I might know him by way of association. Feel free to PM me if you prefer not to mention names on the open forum as my PM facility has been activated.

 

Now is there any chance that you are going to have sex with him again or is he not showing interest?

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Leandro

 

Sorry I missed your post, was too busy arguing up in the dating forum. :p

 

For myself I take a post-training shake which consists of just 20 grams of dextrose, 30 grams of whey protein, and 10 grams of creatine. When I get home I just have a protein bar after night training and after training on weekends or during the day, I have a solid meal of chicken, rice, 2 eggs, mushrooms and broccoli typically. During the nights however I have this meal prior to training.

 

Research has apparently shown it is the nutrition you provide your body before training that is more important to recovery than post-training nutrition. Some guys also drinks Branch Chain Amino Acids during training but I'm a little tied up $$$ wise so don't have a whole lot of money for these supplements. I also take fish oil, Vit C, Zinc, Calcium / Magnesium tab, combination of glucosamine / chondroiton / MSM supplement each day.

 

It's also a good idea to minimise other life activities, particularly of a physical nature as this can impact adversely on recovery as well. Minimising life stresses also not only assists with recovery (at least I think it does) but supports general health as well.

 

Hope this helps.

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Steve, I actually wanted to PM you rather than respond to some of your early posts, but I do not know how to do it!

 

AND YES I do want to hook up with the trainer again! However, I have given him funny signals from the start; when we hooked up, I had a very infected ear, my father hit my face and it was swollen ( another story), and so I straightened my hair.

 

I NEVER straighten my hair - so it is normally naturally healthy and nice. So even my hair was fried. And I had a huge left infected ear and swollen forhead.

 

I looked way less sexy than usual, and this hindered me from fully relaxing and being myself around the body builder - although he did have a good time ( seeing as he asked me to do it again the very next night), I went weird on him.

 

By weird, I mean that I felt very annoyed that ear had to get infected and etc, on the one occasion in FIVE years, that I got sex offered to me ( WITH a VERY hot g uy).

 

Because I was annoyed that I happened to look way worse than usual when I finally got around to having sex, I stupidly called the trainer a few days later.

 

I then proceeded to not really tell him why I was really upset ( about my swollen face and ear), and just babbled something like " oh... yeah, I just need to get something of my chest... I am just bummed that I could nto really by myself around u, and so I did not feel that dignified about what

 

I ended up saying a bunch of stuff that I not only did not mean, but that I shouldn't have said even if I DID mean them ( we had a fling, even though I was off colour at during the fling, it is nto good to call the guy afterwards, and give the impression that you are interested in them for more than sex).

 

 

The trainer had never had a fling before me, he always " saw" or " dated" the girl. Although he loved the notion of having a girl to casually hang out with and " fool around with'. He liked the idea, so he tried it with me.

 

After the silly phone call, I was mortified and backed off. He texted me a few days later, saying " Hi Leigh, how r u, hope all is well". He was obviously doing it courtesy; he works at my gym, and cos I acted off, he prob wanted to stop a potential psycho from ruining his reputation at work.

 

Furthermore, the first time we saw each other after the fling, he knew I was doing a certain class, and he made sure to be standing there afterwards; he said " hi leigh".

 

I could tell he wanted to cleart the air, to show me that he was nice enough, out of consideration for my feelings, and his reputation.

 

I am a rather stand offish and up tight women, due to my body image disorder. So I am not that approachable at the best of times. Needless to say, I have not talked to him since.

 

Although we have seen each other; he has seen me doing Pilates ( hopefully admiring my body:)) and I have admired his hotness too. But I have not aproached him.

 

Until yesterday, he was at the front desk as I walked in. I looked at him, and gave him a friendly nod. He nodded back. Didn't attempt to talk to me. Busy, indifferent, or I do not excude the right vibe, that lets him know I want to talk.

 

 

I assumed that he was just indifferent towards me, and that if he wanted to have sex again, he would ask for it. THe only deterring factor, is that I walk around looking weird and stand offish. In general.

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STEVE - so HERE is my question to you, regarding trainer boy: I have started running, and the trainer and his training partner came and warmed up on the cross trainer. Right next to my tread mill.

 

Do you think that if the trainer was turned off by me enough, that he would actually bother avoiding me more? He does not care or know me enough to have any sort of reaction, HOWEVER; if a guy is really turned off by a girl, would he go on the cross trainer that was right next to a girl he slept with ( if he was turned off and thought she was unappealing)?

 

I am sure he is nto that phased, but I am wondering if I get my social skills together, and am able to come across better, do you think he nay be open to casual sex again?

 

Of course, he would be seeing some one by now, seeing as we had sex a month ago, and he has options ( he only dates very, very hot women and 18 - 17 year old girls).

 

If he is single I really want to have sex again:( Because I am selective about who I have sex with, I do not want a relationship, and I simply want sex occasionally with very hot men.

 

I have started running and have lost a tiiiiiny but of weight since the fling, so physically speaking, he may be open to it, if only I can get my act together socially ( and come across as more warm and approachable).

 

 

 

EXERCISE AIM: 11 kph, 45 minutes running, 4 - 5 daus per >week, within TWO MONTHS.

 

 

 

I LOVE running. Because as much as I feel too fat for my liking, I am achieving tangible results. I hope my body holds up and enables me to run for years to come:)

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Since starting strength training about 2 weeks ago I've gone up 40lbs on all my "basic" lifts (bench, deadlifts, rows, squats, etc). I've had great gains on the smaller isolation exercises as well.

 

Kind of surprises me I've gained so fast - I realize a lot of it is neurological with the brain learning to recruit more muscle fibers for the lifts, but I'm already up to my max workset benchpress from high school 10 years ago when I lifted regularly and was at my peak.

 

I read a few weight lifting forums and see everywhere - "Eat, lift, eat more, sleep, eat more". I think that must be right as I've never had gains come this fast (I know they're noob gains and will slow down). I am eating a crap ton of protein, compared to what I'm used to eating, about 180g/day.

 

I'm not exploding out of my clothes with muscle yet, but can easily see the gains in my physique and capability. GO ME!! :) heh. I don't think motivation is going to be any issue for quite awhile.

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Bobdole sounds great, capitalise on those early gains as you're doing.

 

Leigh it's hard to tell either way but sounds like he is not turned off as such, but likely cautious regarding his reputation in the gym I'm sure. Given the guy is pretty young he may not be overly cautious but this may be a factor as to why he is not approaching you. A common saying amongst gym dudes when it comes to women in the same gym: 'Don't **** in the place from where you eat'. :)

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I ran 40 mins today at 10 kilometers per hour:). I felt FANTASTIC. I have found the speed at which is comfortable and ideal for me; pushes me as much as possible, without being too much.

 

I ALSO took my bathroom scales to work, and LEFT THEM IN MY LOCKER hahah!!!! NO more stupid scales ruling my every waking moment. I can just eat the correct amounts, and wait and see once every week. Before I was weighing 5 times a day or therabouts.

 

My limit is 54, rather than having to be 53. I would rather be 53, but do nto want to focus too much on it daily. I am starting to talk to nice, smart, interesting people in my daily life, and weighing myself daily makes me less of a person. If I weigh more, it equates to a more negative vive I excude. Which turns every one off me.

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BOB - The speed at which you have seen those results are quiet impressive! I have heard about muscle memory - perhaps your body can bounce back faster if you were previously fitter. I was always active as a kid, and I think it shapes your body and influences how it developes if you are active growing up. Although I let go as a teen and was chubby and lazy!

 

Hence why I believe that muscles can be shaped earlier on in life; because I was such a lazy teenager, yet due to my active childhood, I feel it shaped my body and paved the way for me to easily attain a good shape as an adult. Although this theory t may not be true! All the more reason for me to do research on the topic of fitness.

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STEVE - I just have to forget about it. Ultimately, the trainer could think some bad things about me, or simply not think see anry reason to have sex with me again, which is why I cannot take it personally.

 

I find that my recent interest in running has enabled m makes me to not care as much about what he thinks of my body, and wheather he thinks I am attractive enough to want to have sex with me again.

 

I am focused on; clean eating, in addition to running 4 days per week, for 30 mins at 10 k, and increasing to 11 k for 45 mins. Clean eating gives me glowing, clear skin, and the running not only makes me FEEL in a better mood, but my body will be healthier looking.

 

ALthough I cannot see myself losing weight; 53 kilo's is obviously the lowest my body can healthily go, which is not too bad for 5' 5 - 5 ' 6. I go up to 54 kilos though, and have a feeling that I will not be a flat 53 kilos for a while.

 

 

 

With the trainer though- I did not project a fun or good image of myself previously, and am working on how to better... present, and actually BE e better version of myself.

 

If I am just a better all around person, in all aspects of life, in ADDITION to looking hotter lol, then the trainer will obviously feel compelled to talk to me, if he feels I am looking hot.

 

If I send out the right image, and look hot enough for him to consider my body in a sexual way, he will probably say hi to me and try to instigate something.

 

The thing is, not matter how confident or hot I get, he may hever want casual sex again, and part of me becomming more confident is to not care.

 

In theory, if I was hot enough and he desired my body enough to have sex with, and I came across as approachable, then he would ask me for sex ( well, he would say hello first, and take it from there).

 

Who knows. I do get mental kicks out losing 500 grams of weight, and feeling hot, on the occasions he is at the gym haha. But that is life. You like to feel hot and desirable to other people who you also find hot.

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I'm not keeping track of my weight. I don't think those numbers really matter much to me. I am just trying to get strong and feel good, sleep well, get eating on track, etc.

 

I have been training with CrossFit for a week and a half and have learned many humbling lessons and skills already.

 

Friday I tried jump roping for the first time since I was 8. It was much harder than I remembered. I need to practice this at home, it seems. :eek:

 

With all the squats and weight training, so far I have found kettle bells to be my favorite yet most painful exercise. Not enjoying the push ups so much...

 

My face stayed red as a beet for a good 40 minutes after I left. It was a whole new level, and it felt good.

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I'm not keeping track of my weight. I don't think those numbers really matter much to me. I am just trying to get strong and feel good, sleep well, get eating on track, etc.

 

I have been training with CrossFit for a week and a half and have learned many humbling lessons and skills already.

 

Friday I tried jump roping for the first time since I was 8. It was much harder than I remembered. I need to practice this at home, it seems. :eek:

 

With all the squats and weight training, so far I have found kettle bells to be my favorite yet most painful exercise. Not enjoying the push ups so much...

 

My face stayed red as a beet for a good 40 minutes after I left. It was a whole new level, and it felt good.

 

I gave up caring about the scale when I realized I'm 1.5-2 pants sizes smaller, yet 7 pounds heavier, than when I started at the end of August... and that I just have a sh*t ton more energy, actually need less sleep, have better digestion (if you know what I mean), and just all around feel better.

 

Are you having trouble with double unders, or regular jump rope?

 

I love kettle balls too!! I'm still struggling with pull-ups. Grr. But when I look back to where I was physically when I started, I'm almost stunned.

 

As for me, there yesterday we had a team WOD. There are two gals at my CF who I kinda look up to in terms of their fitness level - they are the strongest, fittest, lean women I've ever seen. They're kinda like my "goal." Anyway, they finished the WOD Rx at 19:57. My partner and I finished Rx at 20:10. I was so proud of myself and my partner.

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I brought my bathroom scale to work, and left it in my locker. Because I simply cannot move forward in my life if I weigh myself regularly, becvause my weight dictates how worthy I feel too much.

 

 

I tried some of Tracey Andersons Dance Cardio, and I have definitly found the right kind of thing for me - dance inspired moves, it is like a dancing aerobics class - not aerobics as such, but at a very high intensity with graceful dance moves.

 

I have been doing her matt workout 5 - 6 days per week for a few months and have noticed good results, and now I have looked at her dance cardio, I am also going to do that 6 days per week too.

 

The combination of her matt workout and dance cardio are what feels most natural to me - I just prefer the notion of Pilates and dance style exercises, and hate how my body looks when I lift heavy weights. I tried it in the past and hated the hard look I got.

 

Although, looking very firm and shrinking the size of your body can look good on most people, I just do suit that look. I lose my feminine shape, and I actually look more solid and masculin, rather than leaner. And I find Traceys moves actually give my body a nicer shape than using the heavy weights.

 

Traceys dance cardio is too complex to learn right away, so as I learn it I have recently started running for 30 - 45 mins at the gym, so that I at least maintain a level or aerobic fitness that permits me to do Traceys dance DVD well ONCE I get the choreography right!

 

 

 

I have been in gyms doing aerobics classes for years, yet I have never got the look I am after through heavy weights, or regular aerobics. There is something different about doing dance inspired moves at a high intensity, that normal aerobics just does not bring.

 

 

I love running so far, although I am sure there will be times and moments when I increase the speed or time where initially feel cr@ppy,. but I normally rise above it if I persist and feel good by the end of the run.

 

I really think I have found the right methods for my body. If Traceys matt DVD is working so well, I can only imagine the results I will get from becomming more apt at her dance cardio! The moves look awsome and Iwould be so proud if I could do them half way decent!

 

 

 

AGH though, it is hard not having the scale. I just want to achieve things without my weight comming into the picture; I already feel instantly good id I weigh 116.6 lbs. Where as if I start the day at 118, I feel less enthusiastic and less able and worthy of sucess that day.

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I've FINALLY made it back to the gym after a longish dry spell. Today felt so good. 3x/week is the routine I want to get back into. Wish me luck.

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Are you having trouble with double unders, or regular jump rope?

 

I love kettle balls too!! I'm still struggling with pull-ups. Grr. But when I look back to where I was physically when I started, I'm almost stunned.

 

As for me, there yesterday we had a team WOD. There are two gals at my CF who I kinda look up to in terms of their fitness level - they are the strongest, fittest, lean women I've ever seen. They're kinda like my "goal." Anyway, they finished the WOD Rx at 19:57. My partner and I finished Rx at 20:10. I was so proud of myself and my partner.

 

Haven't even attemped a double under, just regular jump roping isn't coming easy, haha. Astonishing that it's so hard for me. CrossFit humbles.

 

That is amazing about the team WOD - great work!

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I've FINALLY made it back to the gym after a longish dry spell. Today felt so good. 3x/week is the routine I want to get back into. Wish me luck.

 

Great first step, denise! Best wishes for getting back on track!

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Great first step, denise! Best wishes for getting back on track!

 

I know this is way OT and dont wish to hijack the thread, and I acknowledge in advance that it is only one pic, but can I say you look very pretty in your profile avatar there. :love:

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