seems right... yet there is a hitch... or is it a hitch?

[curiousgeorge]

I met this girl that I really like two years ago. Her parents live in my hometown and she came to visit them. I am friends with her father but her and I are close to the same age. When we first met there was an instant attraction.

This december she came to visit her family for a few weeks and I called her up and asked her out.

 

We spent two great weeks together and she mentioned to me that she was coming back home in April because she wants to be closer to her family and she is tired of moving. Her current job has made her move three times in 4 years and she says she does not like that anymore.

 

Anyway I told her that I was really interested in her and that I was looking for a serious relationship. She told me that she also wanted to get married and have a family. But she said that she had made a lot of mistakes in the past. That she had somehow always chosen people who were not right for her while rejecting people that shared her goals. She said that this had made her doubt herself and that she had stopped dating totally and that she is scared. She also said she really liked me and was attracted to me. She also said that she would do anything to change this problem of hers and that she has tried to think about what makes her do these things but hasn't really gotten a clearer picture of it yet.

 

I have thought about what I could do to help and even if I should. We have exchanged a lot of emails and d-day... that is her return is coming soon. She is really beautiful and I really think about her a lot as a very potential person. What do you all think?

[Smoove]

Ey bro, if she really wants 2 fix it let her do it on her own. Hey i believe you are gonna to mess it up 4 her more if u dwell in2 her problem 2 much, bcos u arent even together to get into that type of problem. Just tell her straight up if you want me, your gonna have to trust me. Just tell her that in the eyes, but make sure you have a flower bhind your back in case things blow up.

[Arabess]

Originally posted by Smoove

Just tell her straight up if you want me, your gonna have to trust me. Just tell her that in the eyes,

 

The flower was a nice idea too.....but I really like what Smoove said about being up front.

 

You don't have to address or fix her past. This is now and either she is ready to give love another chance or she isn't. It's her choice. Being friends with her Dad will probably be a plus.

 

I don't think there is anything you can do to convince her....other than just being honest....and being you.

[curiousgeorge]

She did not suggest by the way that she did not trust me. She said that she was afraid that she would run away from because that is what she always did when the person was someone that shared her goals and was ready for a commitment.

 

I agree though that I should not try to get to involved in trying to help her too much. She wrote me in a letter last night that she had started to go talk to a priest who was a counsellor about these things to see if he can help her. She referred to herself as screwed up. And I just thanked her for her honest letter and told her that she was not screwed up.

 

Anyway thank you for the advice.

 

It helps to see what other people think. And somtimes easier than approaching people you know. This is a good site.

[Smoove]

Hey Bro sorry if i didnt read your post properly, but anyways things are looking up. She seems to be a religious person by talking to a priest, but newayz it is a good start and talking to a priest is like talking to god in a way because GOD speaks through him. Things should start sparking off soon bro, just do what you have to do for urself.

[overseas2004]

Thanks for answering my post. I figured I would answer yours in return.

 

You are lucky. My ex resisted the help that he desperately needed. Looks like she is on her way. I would say that if she knows what her problem is and she wants to help herself. The only thing you can do is encourage adn support her.

 

But one word of warning. Sometimes I think I have the same problem that your potential g-f has. I have found myself doing the same things. And I bet you would have a lot better chance of being the one for her if you take it really slow. And make sure that you are good at not smothering her etc.... If you are just like a good friend for awhile... then she should see the lovely person you are and fall in love with you.

 

Good luck....