Gym behavior from men

[Ruby Slippers]

I joined a really nice health club recently, as part of taking my whole life up a notch, and I LOVE IT!

 

However, I have noticed that men (really cute men ) will often work out right next to me, even when there's lots of open space around, and keep making eye contact but not say anything.

 

The other day, I got on an elliptical in a row of about 20 of them. Two other people were on machines 3 or 4 away. This cute, buff guy got on the machine right next to me, flashed me a big smile, and starting working out. He kept glancing over, but did not say anything.

 

Then I went into the free weight room, where there were about 5 svelte, toned guys working out, and no women other than me. A little intimidating, but whatever, I am here to work out! I picked a bench off by itself, and started doing my free weight exercises for chest, shoulders, and back. In this huge open room, this guy who had just done a set of pull-ups comes and sits on the bench right next to me the whole time I'm working out! He's not doing anything but sitting there listening to his mp3 player and occasionally making eye contact with me in the mirror. Again, he doesn't say a word.

 

Are they waiting for me to hit on them or something? Do they think they are so hot I won't be able to resist? WTF?

[tman666]

Option 1) Yes they think they're hot stuff and are hoping that you'll strike up a conversation.

 

Option 2) They're not working hard enough. If they were they'd be seeing in black and white and focusing all of their energies between sets trying to keep lunch down or revving up for the next set.

 

It's probably a combination of both, I'd imagine.

[djhall]

Yep, I'd say they were trying to make themselves available without intruding on your workout. That way if you were interested you could say something to initiate a conversation and if not then they were just exercising nearby and not hitting on you while you were trying to work out.

[USMCHokie]

Ah, nothin' like some quality creepers at the gym...

[Ruby Slippers]

Yep, I'd say they were trying to make themselves available without intruding on your workout. That way if you were interested you could say something to initiate a conversation and if not then they were just exercising nearby and not hitting on you while you were trying to work out.

Well, I'm never going to make the first move! Thanks for the translation.

 

And do people actually meet relationship prospects at the gym? In the past when I've worked out in gyms, I've always been in a relationship, so I totally ignored the men. Now I'm single and definitely getting ready to open myself up to the possibilities again. I'm not interested in sex only. I mean, I AM, but I know that's a waste of my time. I have no idea if the gym is a viable place to meet a cool guy. I'm inclined to think it breeds more hook-ups than relationships.

 

Ah, nothin' like some quality creepers at the gym...

It doesn't really bother me. Definitely doesn't hurt the workout to be working out next to a gorgeous man! Now, if they started following me from room to room... that would be creepy.

 

And is this normal -- the visitors to my gym seem to be about 75% male, 25% female? And half the female visitors don't seem to really "work out" -- they just go to a yoga class, maybe a little cardio. I do everything (swimming, cardio, strength training, stretching), and most of the time, I am surrounded by very good-looking men. Hey, I am not complaining.

[djhall]

And do people actually meet relationship prospects at the gym? In the past when I've worked out in gyms, I've always been in a relationship, so I totally ignored the men. Now I'm single and definitely getting ready to open myself up to the possibilities again. I'm not interested in sex only. I mean, I AM, but I know that's a waste of my time. I have no idea if the gym is a viable place to meet a cool guy. I'm inclined to think it breeds more hook-ups than relationships.

I think you're probably more likely to run into someone at a gym interested in a hook up than say, at a grocery store, simply due to the presence of a certain percentage that are there to "look better naked" as opposed to support a healthy and fit lifestyle. And some gyms have a reputation as meat markets while others have a reputation for being serious about working out, so I suppose that makes a difference too.

 

Hitting on women at the gym can be a touchy thing... many find it very offensive.

[Feelin Frisky]

A lot of guys who go to the gym are in some part over-compensating for insecurity about themselves. It doesn't surprise me that these particular guys might be socially inept. I can't say I just chat up girls at the gym but I can say that I make it a point not to crowd a female just because she's there and attractive. If we make eye contact and I give her a howdya do smile and she doesn't return it, then so be it--I'm not there for that.

[that girl]

I've belonged to two co-ed gyms in the last year, both were within a mile of each other.

 

Gym #1

A bit fancy, 90% young professionals 22-35, equal gender mix.

 

Guys were so hyper aware of women that I could feel heads turn as they saw the top of my ponytail go by. Not that I am crazy hot, they were just very attuned to women being around.

 

Classes were held in a glass enclosure that you could see completely into. Numerous times I saw men just hang around by the windows gawking (incredibly rude).

 

Gym #2

Slightly less fancy. 30% hardcore body builders, 50% young professionals, 20% 50-70 year olds.

 

Guys mostly do not check out women. The body builders are way too focused for this and the set up isn't really conducive to gawking.

 

Classes held in a glass room, but with some window frosting and lots of equipment, so not easy to see in. Though recently I did see a guy almost break his neck on the treadmill as one of the yoga classes did downward dog. It happened he was at the one treadmill with a clear view into the room. I don't blame him, but I'd rather not be stared at.

 

And do people actually meet relationship prospects at the gym? In the past when I've worked out in gyms, I've always been in a relationship, so I totally ignored the men. Now I'm single and definitely getting ready to open myself up to the possibilities again.

I've never heard of it from just using the machines, but classes are often very social.

[tman666]

Guys mostly do not check out women. The body builders are way too focused for this and the set up isn't really conducive to gawking.

 

Ahhhh and this is where you are mistaken, grasshoppa...

 

Most of us are just good at checking you hot looking females out without you knowing. It's like looking at the sun. Just quick glances, or bad things happen...

[BruceLeroy]

So some dudes thought you were hot and hung around in case you might be interested. Whole lot better than getting in your face about it and pretending to want to be your spotter or hey little lady want some help?

When you walk down the street fully clothed and coated we will still stare at you. Just a fact of nature and biology. Your just more aware of it in the gym cuz you wearing less clothes and they show off your body more. These guys are still doing the same thig they do on the street. You just more aware of it in the gym.

Dunno, but these dudes sound more respectful of your working out than others would be so I don't get what you complaining about.

[LittleTiger]

I joined a really nice health club recently, as part of taking my whole life up a notch, and I LOVE IT!

 

However, I have noticed that men (really cute men ) will often work out right next to me, even when there's lots of open space around, and keep making eye contact but not say anything.

 

The other day, I got on an elliptical in a row of about 20 of them. Two other people were on machines 3 or 4 away. This cute, buff guy got on the machine right next to me, flashed me a big smile, and starting working out. He kept glancing over, but did not say anything.

 

Then I went into the free weight room, where there were about 5 svelte, toned guys working out, and no women other than me. A little intimidating, but whatever, I am here to work out! I picked a bench off by itself, and started doing my free weight exercises for chest, shoulders, and back. In this huge open room, this guy who had just done a set of pull-ups comes and sits on the bench right next to me the whole time I'm working out! He's not doing anything but sitting there listening to his mp3 player and occasionally making eye contact with me in the mirror. Again, he doesn't say a word.

 

Are they waiting for me to hit on them or something? Do they think they are so hot I won't be able to resist? WTF?

 

Yes, Ruby, this happens in most gyms. As long as the guys aren't being sleazy just enjoy it. I've been 'gyming' for twenty years and men are pretty much the same everywhere - some are just a little more obvious than others. I always give a big smile to anyone who smiles at me (not just at the gym - that's just how I am) and eventually they'll strike up a conversation - you won't have to make a first move.

 

As I'm already happily 'taken', I make it very clear I'm not available, but it doesn't stop the mild flirting. It makes a gym visit just a little more fun in between reps or machines.

 

I don't see why you couldn't start a relationship with someone from the gym. Guys at gyms are as different as any other guys. There are the ones who are there to work out because they're serious about their fitness, the ones who aren't so serious but like to think they're really hot and the ones who are just ordinary guys who don't want to end up with beer bellies etc.

 

Just enjoy your workout and if you take a fancy to someone use your instincts.

[Ruby Slippers]

OK, great info in here!

 

The thing is, I feel like I'm really making a breakthrough in my life, and all the dynamics are changing. Family issues I've been battling with my whole life are getting resolved, finances are climbing, my career is booming, and I'm being better to myself on every level.

 

I am stepping everything up, and the world is answering with a big wave of positive energy coming at me. I'm adjusting as fast as I can, but sometimes it's overwhelming!

 

Today I took some pictures of myself in a cute outfit I just put together with some new clothes, and I just had this huge grin in the pictures and was feeling very happy and pretty.

 

I guess I'm kind of stepping out of a shadow, into the spotlight, and now I've got everyone's attention and the pressure is on. But I know I'm ready and able for this. It's just scary sometimes!!

 

And working out in this great health club with beautiful men flirting wordlessly seems wonderful and strange.

[Leigh 87]

Um, you should be greatful that you are hot enough for hot men to find you appealing. Most women do not get hot men making eye contact at them.

 

Just enjoy the attention you get. You are obviously slim and attractive for hot guys to gawk at you, so try to enjoy it.

 

Don't try to think about what sort of relationships you can or cannot find at the gym; just see how things go and find out for youself.

 

You are already lucky enough to have hot guys who would consider you, so why don't you smile back at the ones you fancy? What have you got to lose? They could be nice guys and you could go on some fun dates, even if they do not work out long term.

 

The worst that could happen, is they will turn out to be jerk.

[Ruby Slippers]

Um, you should be greatful that you are hot enough for hot men to find you appealing. Most women do not get hot men making eye contact at them.

That's the thing, though. I don't think I'm hot, so I wonder what they are after. But with all this good stuff happening in my life, I am thinking maybe I have been too hard on myself all my life and I'm at least a few degrees hotter than I have thought in the past. And when I try on this idea in earnest, the results are pretty amazing.

 

Don't try to think about what sort of relationships you can or cannot find at the gym; just see how things go and find out for youself.

Yeah, good advice! I am so relationship minded. I just can't help it. I have no interest in superficial involvements. To me, they are meaningless. I'm an all or nothing person. I don't really do things half-assed. I just don't see the point of that. Give it your all or don't bother, I say.

 

You are already lucky enough to have hot guys who would consider you, so why don't you smile back at the ones you fancy? What have you got to lose?

We all know it's pretty easy to have sex with hot guys. But a relationship? Not so easy.

 

They could be nice guys and you could go on some fun dates, even if they do not work out long term.

 

The worst that could happen, is they will turn out to be jerk.

You're right! I do smile back, though. I usually smile at everybody, even other women or just people walking by. Hey, I'm from Texas!

[Leigh 87]

I have found that when good things are happening in my life, and I am feeling in a good state, that I THINK people notice me more.

 

If you are feeling good about yourself and are on a high, then it could enhance your level of attraction.

 

Look, I have had the perfect body before, and guys have not looked at me. At all. It is alla bout the image you project. I had a negative and skewed view of myself as a person, so I did not exude the right vibe.

 

It is great that you are modest, and that you look beyond the superficial aspects of men; you like hot guys, but you do not just want any type of relationship that is based on your appearance.

 

If guys regularly feel compelled to come over and smile and make eye contact with u, SMILE back! Seriously.

 

The more guys you give a chance, the more likely it is you will find a suitable one for you! So have fun, and try to get to know as many as possible!

 

Just discard any that are off, upon first talking to them! As I said, you have NOTHING to lose! if they are wankers who cares, but they could also turn out to be nice guys:)

 

 

GRRR. I want guys to come over to me . I am starting another thread. I need help on this issue. Iam clueless.

[Ruby Slippers]

If guys regularly feel compelled to come over and smile and make eye contact with u, SMILE back! Seriously.

 

The more guys you give a chance, the more likely it is you will find a suitable one for you! So have fun, and try to get to know as many as possible!

Like I said, I always smile back. If one of them struck up a conversation and asked me out -- as long as he seemed cool and on my level intellectually -- I would probably say yes and go on a date with him.

 

For now, I'll just keep working out and enjoying the scenery.

[StandingO]

Well, I'm never going to make the first move! Thanks for the translation.

 

And do people actually meet relationship prospects at the gym? In the past when I've worked out in gyms,

 

And is this normal -- the visitors to my gym seem to be about 75% male, 25% female? And half the female visitors don't seem to really "work out" -- they just go to a yoga class, maybe a little cardio. I do everything (swimming, cardio, strength training, stretching), and most of the time, I am surrounded by very good-looking men. Hey, I am not complaining.

Pretty normal, yeh the guys are interested in you. Don't look at it as creepy, but flattering

 

And yes, most girls are there for cardio. They should be pumping some iron like you are. Good for you.

[Surrealist]

My behavior in the gym is such that I am there to train and get the job done! I am polite yet focused, which may make me appear standoffish at times. I wish there were a few more women who trained in my area of the gym, but women are never the focus of my attention, it would be just good to have more around to have more potential to meet one. I also point out that I never drop weights or make unnecessary grunting or other such silly noises to attract attention. I talk sparingly while training but in general, I only socialise once my training is over.

[LittleTiger]

And half the female visitors don't seem to really "work out" -- they just go to a yoga class, maybe a little cardio.

 

Most of the women at my gym sit on an exercise bike or stand on a step machine for half an hour with a book in front of them.

 

I'm not sure what they're hoping to achieve! Just makes me laugh and I'm not brave enough to tell them they're wasting their time.

[LittleTiger]

My behavior in the gym is such that I am there to train and get the job done! I am polite yet focused, which may make me appear standoffish at times. I wish there were a few more women who trained in my area of the gym, but women are never the focus of my attention, it would be just good to have more around to have more potential to meet one. I also point out that I never drop weights or make unnecessary grunting or other such silly noises to attract attention. I talk sparingly while training but in general, I only socialise once my training is over.

 

If that's you in your avatar then you're one of the guys I was talking about who are serious about fitness. In my experience, guys like you rarely even make eye contact during a workout, except by accident - and then they're so focused they don't 'see' anything.

[Leigh 87]

My behavior in the gym is such that I am there to train and get the job done! I am polite yet focused, which may make me appear standoffish at times. I wish there were a few more women who trained in my area of the gym, but women are never the focus of my attention, it would be just good to have more around to have more potential to meet one. I also point out that I never drop weights or make unnecessary grunting or other such silly noises to attract attention. I talk sparingly while training but in general, I only socialise once my training is over.

 

 

 

What sort of girls do guys like you like? I had casual sex with a body builder - who is vrty focused on his training - and was wondering if guys like you, who focus on developing a very tight and firm body, also prefer women who have very minimal fat?

 

I just want to keep things real; I am attracted to guys like you, and want to realistically know if I should get over this, or if a some guys like u are physically attracted enough to women like me to have casual sex or etc with ( PROVIDING the girl has the right connection and personality, in addition to her looks).

 

Sorry to get off track, but I am the most sexually attracted to these sort of men, and just want to know if it is in my league. Weight wise and body type wise what do you very fit guys like?

[Surrealist]

What sort of girls do guys like you like? I had casual sex with a body builder - who is vrty focused on his training - and was wondering if guys like you, who focus on developing a very tight and firm body, also prefer women who have very minimal fat?

 

I just want to keep things real; I am attracted to guys like you, and want to realistically know if I should get over this, or if a some guys like u are physically attracted enough to women like me to have casual sex or etc with ( PROVIDING the girl has the right connection and personality, in addition to her looks).

 

Sorry to get off track, but I am the most sexually attracted to these sort of men, and just want to know if it is in my league. Weight wise and body type wise what do you very fit guys like?

 

Yes guys in my shape there are typically attracted to the same, but funny enough, I’m not. I don’t like the hard muscular physique on a woman, it doesn’t appeal to me. Sometimes these same women can look attractive to me in their offseason when they’ve regained a little body fat, but by far, I prefer the softer and more voluptuous type. Obesity is not attractive any which way you look at it, either on a girl or guy. I should also mention that I am not nearly as lean as that year round nor care to be. But I don’t get ‘fat’ in the sedentary sense, but wouldn’t be able to walk on a stage, I would have to diet again seriously to do that. My other avatar pic is more when I m at now. The thing is when I say this online, it may be construed by the reader that I am really a blimp. This is hardly surprising because a lot of people do tend to exaggerate online and when you meet them in person you left thinking wtf?! But even in the shape Im in now, I get a fair bit of attention from the ladies, and quite a few from those much younger than me. My problem is not that I can’t attract, I have entrenched shyness. That’s why I tried OLD as I could ascertain the initial interest before meeting. Anyway I like women who are curvaceous, it feels womanly and sexually appealing. I like petite women too, but as long as they don’t have that scrawny look if you know what I mean. As for you being realistic, sure why not, but I cannot give you a definitive answer on that cos I haven’t seen any pics of you.

[Perhaps]

Ah, nothin' like some quality creepers at the gym...

 

 

Seriously.

 

They might be checking you out.. the dirty way. Especially the guy doing nothing while you work out.

[Leigh 87]

Yes guys in my shape there are typically attracted to the same, but funny enough, I’m not. I don’t like the hard muscular physique on a woman, it doesn’t appeal to me. Sometimes these same women can look attractive to me in their offseason when they’ve regained a little body fat, but by far, I prefer the softer and more voluptuous type. Obesity is not attractive any which way you look at it, either on a girl or guy. I should also mention that I am not nearly as lean as that year round nor care to be. But I don’t get ‘fat’ in the sedentary sense, but wouldn’t be able to walk on a stage, I would have to diet again seriously to do that. My other avatar pic is more when I m at now. The thing is when I say this online, it may be construed by the reader that I am really a blimp. This is hardly surprising because a lot of people do tend to exaggerate online and when you meet them in person you left thinking wtf?! But even in the shape Im in now, I get a fair bit of attention from the ladies, and quite a few from those much younger than me. My problem is not that I can’t attract, I have entrenched shyness. That’s why I tried OLD as I could ascertain the initial interest before meeting. Anyway I like women who are curvaceous, it feels womanly and sexually appealing. I like petite women too, but as long as they don’t have that scrawny look if you know what I mean. As for you being realistic, sure why not, but I cannot give you a definitive answer on that cos I haven’t seen any pics of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do not like the look of ultra firm women, either; I think it diminishes their femininity when they are not curvy enough. That is why I do not aspire to be able to lift heavy weights, because I personally do not suit that look, not with my face shape and look.

 

I have sort of large and odd features on my face, so I actually need a softer body to balance out my face. You will understand when I post a pic up.

 

That being said, I do not like what obesity looks like, either. I have a medium body frame type ( prefer small though ), and 140 or above is " chubby" on my build, at 166cm.

 

 

I seam to be stuck at 117 lbs at 166 cm. My body is not willingly losing weight, even when I eat maintenance, and exercse ABOVE it. I would likely have to eat about 1300 calories ANd exercise to lose down to 112 lbs ( or 52 ish kilos) again. After an eating disorder in the past, I simply cannot eat under 1500. It feels wrong and I cannot go that hungry.

 

I feel terrible about the fact that my body wants to apparently stay at this weight, so to counter my depressive feelings about being at this higher of a weight, I am focusing on starting to run most days - in addition to doing my dance move DVD every day without fail.

 

It sounds like I have a body that you would love, although when it comes to attraction, the face plays a big role, in addition to how a women comes accross.

 

I have just been socially isolated for YEARS now. I have not been able to keep even a simple job due to being so out of it, and started to achieve things later in life, at age 22 and onwards.

 

While I have great potential ( as I know what the most sucessful people need to DO in order to be the best versions of themselves), I have yet to really develope much of a social personality.

 

I have simply been alone for too long, and been stuck in a pattern of not having people regularly in my life, that like and want to be around me for who I am.

 

I do not feel happy enough within myself, my achievements, and my body, to be able to ever attract people. I doubt that after 4 years, guys will start approaching me at the gym. As if.

 

It just uspets me, cos I must have a pretty plain or non spectacular face, and a pretty dreary personality and energy around me, cos women who are LARGER than I am get guys that approach them and want to talk to them.

 

Yet no guys want to even LOOK at me or check me out. My strongest point is my body, however, I have come to terms with the act that my face just is not attractive enough ( although not ugly), to attract guys off tha bat; I am just one of those girls who is not pretty enough to get guys to talk to them, until the guy gets to know me first, through school or work or etc.

 

I am very visual and love beautiful asthetics, and I really like looking at pretty people, and it does bug me that I am not able to stand there and look beautiful. Because I love beauty.

 

.

[Surrealist]

Hi Leigh, I do admit the face to me is important but that doesn't mean she has to have the face of an angel or princess or whatever for want of a better description. Like I said I guess the only way I, or any of us on here, can tell is by seeing a pic of you.

 

I have to say thats a cute face pic on your avatar right there. But I like cute animals as well.