faithfulness Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 My partner and I have been together for 2 yrs an have a baby.For the first 3 months we had a loving relationship that was amazing.Due to other people inferfering and saying I wasnt carrying his baby, the problems started. For the last yr and 3/4 he hasnt showed me any affection or love.We constantly argue and have even lived apart for 6months. He knows he has a problem with this but refuses to take the whole blame.I know I have faults, but without love in a relationship I find anything else is harder to work out. He says he will go to couselling only if I come with him,but it is expensive and until we can afford it I dont know what to do.I am really confused. I've had a very hard life with abusive parents and then an 8yr abusive relationship I just long to be happy and I dont know if I should walk away and be a lone parent or stick with him and get the support he needs????? Very confused ! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Counselling may be expensive, but a failure of you two parents to live together happily and care for your child costs even more money. Take a look at the numbers. Since you have a child, I would definitely make an effort to rebuild. Just give yourself a goal and a time expectation (like 6-8 months), and really focus on building a relationship. If you have not achieved substantial improvement by then, you may consider ending this relationship. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Is it his baby? If it is, a paternity test would go a long way to proving that to him if he doesn't believe it. As far a counseling, it sounds like you both need it. Look into free counseling at the city or county level in your area. Health services commonly offer this kind of service. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Gosh....I'm sorry that after all you've been thru, life still isn't dealing you a happy deck of cards! It seems so unfair. I don't know what your financial situation is, try contacting your local Family Services. If you get WIC or anything, your case worker can put you in contact with some free counselling. He may not want to participate....but I think after so much grief in your life....that it's something you need for YOU. People who have been abused in childhood, not to mention a previous marriage, can get into a cycle of getting into one bad relationship after another. It's hard to learn how to address that and make changes. You owe it to yourself to learn how to heal your heart and find healthy relationships. Maybe with a stronger YOU....you could deal better with your current situation. I wouldn't stay with a man who treated me like a doormat.....but I would make every possible effort to change the relationship before leaving it. I'm not sure that you have the emotional tools to accomplish it. Your whole life has put you in a position of being a 'victim'. You need some help in finding your own stength. For you and your baby...... Please keep posting. People DO care about you. Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
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