stillwaiting Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 [color=blue][/color] We have been dating for almost 5 months and the past 3 have been off and on. She says she doesn’t want to commit. At any rate I house/dog sat for her in the beginning of the relationship and she called me every night to see how things were going, we would talk for hours. She has been gone now for 3 nights and I have only heard twice from her in the daytime, and i am house/dog sitting again. She said she would call last night and didn’t. I know she was going to a barbeque with friends and I strongly feel that she ran into her ex at that engagement last night. Still no phone call. She likes things the way they are. To see me when she wants to and not just the same. What to do? Am I a fool? Link to post Share on other sites
fancypants Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Give her some time! Find out what she considers a commiment. Take it easy and just wait for her to call. i know that may seem to be a hard thing to do, but you don't want to look desperate. She might come around. Good Luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Prolixity Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Hello Stillwaiting, Sorry to hear that you're hurting. It's hard to make an assessment of the "whole" relationship with not a lot of information given. But, just in the five months you've been together (which three were on and off) I'd say she might be a committment phobe, or she's taking advantage of the situation. If a person truly cares for someone, they respect them. You state that she basically see's you on her terms. What kind of "relationship" or friendship for that matter works that way? I thought if two people were together, it would be mutual. But everything is controlled on her turf. And if you allow this type of behaviour, she will treat you like a doormat. Remember, people will treat you only the way you allow them to. You might want to consider having a serious talk with her and letting her know how you truly feel. Communication is very essential. Also, there's a good book out, " Emotional Unavailabilty", by: Bryn Collins. It deals with people who are committment phobic. Not an absolute, but it shares some very valuable information and understanding to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
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