Eating Disorder? issues. relationship.

[sartrelazyeye]

I have an eating disorder (i'm not completely anorexic, but exhibit many of the symptoms) and am currently seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. My boyfriend is totally supportive. However, I don't want to be an emotional strain. I'm a bit of a train-wreck... I have a depression and anxiety. I often find myself flirting with other men, just to receive the attention I so desperately desire. I would never want to hurt my boyfriend; I love him so much. Should I take a break while I work out my issues? He would never want to do such a thing, but should I push the matter? I really want to be the best I can for him.

Edited October 16, 2010 by sartrelazyeye

[USMCHokie]

Should I take a break while I work out my issues? He would never want to do such a thing, but should I push the matter? I really want to be the best I can for him.

 

If you want to take a break, you must be fully willing and accepting to the possibility that you'll lose him permanently.

[xpaperxcutx]

There are studies that dictate eating disorders ( namely anorexia and bulimia) also exhibits symptom of histrionic personality disorders.

 

I don't know about your medical history but most people with EDs had suffered traumatic experiences ( ie. sexual abuse, rape). There are also patterns that such experiences tend to follow through into their adult lives.

 

Anyways, if you feel your relationship gives you anxiety then the logical thing to do is take a break from dating. Excessive stress can make your ED/ EDNOS worse.

 

I suggest you talk to your psych about your anxiety and stress.

[sartrelazyeye]

There are studies that dictate eating disorders ( namely anorexia and bulimia) also exhibits symptom of histrionic personality disorders.

 

I don't know about your medical history but most people with EDs had suffered traumatic experiences ( ie. sexual abuse, rape). There are also patterns that such experiences tend to follow through into their adult lives.

 

Anyways, if you feel your relationship gives you anxiety then the logical thing to do is take a break from dating. Excessive stress can make your ED/ EDNOS worse.

 

I suggest you talk to your psych about your anxiety and stress.

 

Yeah, I often feel like i am histrionic or borderline. I actually haven't had any serious traumas...my parents divorced and my mom has some issues, but that's about it. The relationship doesn't give me anxiety...it's just I don't want to be a burden...with all my problems and emotions. also, i wonder if taking a break could give me the chance to work on these problems...since i wouldn't be distracted with maintaining a relationship.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yeah, I often feel like i am histrionic or borderline. I actually haven't had any serious traumas...my parents divorced and my mom has some issues, but that's about it. The relationship doesn't give me anxiety...it's just I don't want to be a burden...with all my problems and emotions. also, i wonder if taking a break could give me the chance to work on these problems...since i wouldn't be distracted with maintaining a relationship.

 

By thinking yourself as a burden, you're only adding stress.

 

If you're in recovery, the best thing for you to do is work on yourself first and foremost. A relationship can be started anytime but your health ( especially with an ED) have to come first.

 

Don't take on the challenge of trying to juggle too much. You should choose your priorities. Your health, getting medical treatment, etc.

[Leigh 87]

Firstly, congratulations for realizing that you have a problem, and being willing to try to address it. That is the important first step.

 

Every one experiences their eating disorders in their own unique way. SOme people can perhaps sustain personal relationships, such as a romantic one. However, many cannot, as their anxities and mentality they havve relating to their ED drains their energy, so they have little or not capacity to deal with other people.

 

I am weight restored and not anorexic any more, however; I still cannot hold down a job or make friends easily or just be normal around people a lot of the time, b ecause I am still consumed with my desire to need to be thin.

 

I have not been dangerously thin for years now, but I am still not ready for any kind of serious relationship with a guy. It sounds like your own emotions are what concerns you; you do not want to place too much of a burden on your boyfriend.

 

Keep in mind, that people who ever want long lasting relationships will HAVE to be with their partners through thick and thin. However, if you are young and if you feel like your eating disorder is hindering you from being able to be your self, it may be best to take a short break, until you comfortable with sharing your entirity with a guy. YOu have to feel comfrotable revealing all aspects of yourself.

 

If you do not feel right about your problems, and if you feel you either have to hide them, not talk about them, and keep try to keep them seperate from the relationship, leave now.

 

You have to be okay with sharing every aspect of yourself with the guy you are seirous about. Perhaps you could try to get through it together initially, and see how it unfolds? Youc an still have some good times together whilst battling with the ED.

 

I would say to see how you feel with trying to recover from your ED, whilst still going through it with your boyfriend. Tell him whjat is on you rmind if you feel the need - that is normal - it is normal for BOTH of you to talk to ech other about ANYthing that is on your mind.

 

 

An ED is just another problem; people do not necessarily need to break up just becauise they are dealing with an issue. Only take a break if the person you are BECAUSE of your problem ( your ED), is not the person you feel comfortable with sharing in an intimate relationship.

[Jannah]

You can't "feel" like you are histrionic or borderline. Only a trained/licensed professional can diagnose a personality disorder. Also, personality disorders are inherent (i.e. genetic).

 

Here is a link that may help:

http://bpd.about.com/od/causesofbpd/a/CausesBPD.htm

 

As for anorexia, "I'm not completely anorexic" means..what?

 

Do you refuse to maintain a healthy body weight, suffer malnutrition from self-imposed starvation?

 

These are all things you should be examining with your therapist.

[Cee]

Unless your boyfriend is emotionally unavailable or abusive, I suggest you stay with him for a while longer. The reasons you give to breakup are about him, not you. You cannot caretake your boyfriend. He has freely chosen to stay in the relationship and he can take care of himself.

 

On the other hand... There is so much emotional turmoil in recovery. If you need space to focus on yourself and your needs, then that's a different story.

 

I suggest you discuss this with your counselor. You don't have to decide right away. Take your time.

[sartrelazyeye]

You can't "feel" like you are histrionic or borderline. Only a trained/licensed professional can diagnose a personality disorder. Also, personality disorders are inherent (i.e. genetic).

 

Here is a link that may help:

http://bpd.about.com/od/causesofbpd/a/CausesBPD.htm

 

As for anorexia, "I'm not completely anorexic" means..what?

 

Do you refuse to maintain a healthy body weight, suffer malnutrition from self-imposed starvation?

 

These are all things you should be examining with your therapist.

 

 

 

 

I know that obviously............i wasn't trying to self-diagnose...just merely making an observation.

And, as for the post about being anorexic...yes, I suppose I am...I'm just not nearly as bad as most who suffer from the disorder are. I guess I shouldn't have said it like that.