Pipeline010 Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 @sith lack of attraction can be a major issue in relationships. it is an extremely touchy issue to deal with. if you felt she was overweight and tried to work on it with her for 2 years I'd be willing to bet that you did some things, consciously or unconsciously, that damaged both your relationship and her sense of self worth. When another man came along that made her feel good about herself again then she left. The feeling good about herself that this OM provided was way too much for you to compete with because she had already begun to see you as someone who was looking down at her. The only way to break that cycle is to get away from her...you simply can't fix that by contact. I did something similar with my fiance. I didn't tear down her looks but I did do damage to her self worth, leaving the door wide open for some scumbag to come walking through. Lucky for me the OM was such an all-star loser that she was able to snap back to reality and realize what she was walking away from was way more then he had to offer her. Had this OM been someone of true value and character I may have lost her forever. Luckily we're reconciling and I'm EXTREMELY careful about how I treat her feelings, making sure she always feels valuable and a true partner to me. As guys we like to think we can hide the way we feel about something but it always shows through. Girls pick up on it and it tears them down. Females are EXTREMELY vulnerable creatures when it comes to their self-worth; it's almost impossible for us guys to do it right all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 i had an ex or two want to come back after years of no contact. and Sith is right. i didn't want anything to do with it. i even had one come back from 18 years ago! i felt nothing. other than curiosity in what she had been up too with her life. she even said "wow if i had stuck with you i would have been living large" Link to post Share on other sites
Author SithLord Posted October 19, 2010 Author Share Posted October 19, 2010 Pipeline u nailed, I was being honest about my feelings and told her, instead of cheating. Yeah her X supposedly doesn't care about her weight etcc, she was the first girl I dealt with weight issues, at 21 a women shouldn't be at almost 300 pounds, she told me 260, it was probably higher. She gained over 60 pounds, she was 5'7.... Yeah she try making me seem like the worse, like she felt she'll never reach her full potential, she had a pretty face, but that can only take u so far. She stunk on that sorority mentally rather than her money problems. I'm 24..it stung when she didn't call me for my bday a month ago, I work so hard not to give myself hope, that she might come back One day, I'm her first love..... What's do u think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SithLord Posted October 19, 2010 Author Share Posted October 19, 2010 Paleblue I'm just not letting time do it's thing. Is that when she said she fell out of love, is like I didn't want to believe it, lol, after 3 years u fell out of love this fast. Wow. I'm her first love. So great I'm disappearing...I shouldnt concern myself with the other guy, but it's like ****, he's everything I wasn't for the moment. He might of been an ex but I'm her most recent of the last 3 years... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SithLord Posted October 21, 2010 Author Share Posted October 21, 2010 Pipeline and Paleblue any thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
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