friend tells me im weird and psycho

[KatieCountrycm]

Recently, a long-time family friend told me I was weird and psycho. Then proceeds to tell me her parents don't want me around unless my parents are there and that I'm "different" What hurts the most is that she and her family are friends with my family and a few relatives.

 

I did something that almost costed my life at their house. I don't know what I was really thinking when I did it. I was super drunk when it happened. I was depressed about the way my life has turned out and the lack of sex. I regret what I did. Now, that they're shunning me I feel worse because they were the only people I would call friends in my life. I told a family friend's ex who I've known for a few years about why I did it which led to a short-term fling with him knowing that I was close to a virgin. I ended it because sex was eventually all he wanted from me.

 

Long story short, I've lived a very sheltered life. I was fearful of venturing out doing things including driving, scared of meeting people. Even in most of my 20's. I'm profoundly heairng impaired so it does make communication diffiuclt especially when their's overlapping conversations and backgorund noise. I've always been distant from my dad and since my teenage years my relationship with my mom always been rocky. I have 2 other siblings and they have many friends and have are in a relationship. I've never had a date in my life though have experimented with sex and loved it.

 

I go to the bar now to escape the lonliness especially on the weekends. People tell me to get involved in other things. Easier said than done, I work odd hours during the week and living out in the boondocks, there isn't much going on that's within 15 minutes away. I would just love to have friends to hang out with on fri. and sat. evening doing things like poker, card games, hanging around a bonfire etc. I don't invite people over because I still live with my parents and with my fiancial situation right now, I can't afford to move out.

 

I hate the way I look though I don't complain about it to anyone. I don't find myself attractive at all. I just don't like the way I look for various of reasons.