would you get rid of me?

[ah8kp]

I am a freshman in college and my gf is still in high school. as you can imagine, this has been really tough on me because I feel like a part of me is still at home when I want all of me to be at school with me. Im trying to figure out what I really want. So I made us unofficial so i would have the chance to see if i would want to spend college single. I ended up sleeping with a girl and it made me realize that there is nothing more that I want than being with my gf. I love her so much and feel terrible for doing this to her, but at the same time she told me she didnt want me to tell her anything.The reason I did It was because I was not sure if i wanted to be a guy who just went around randomly and meaninglessly hooking up in college or if I wanted Love. And i wanted to do it while we were unofficial so that it couldn't technically be labeled as cheating. I feel as though Had I not done it I would always have that doubt in our relationship thinking is this really what I want. But now that I did it I know I dont want to be that guy and all I want is Love and I have that with her. Even though I didnt technically cheat, I feel as though I did and dont know if I should tell her. I didnt do it out of lust or anything, I would never ever cheat on her when we were officially together, Ive had plenty of chances before and it has been easy to turn them down so I know I can do it. But I feel particularly bad about this instance and I dont know if I should tell her or not because I feel it would devastate her if I did. If I dont tell her, what can I do to just put this behind me and out of my mind? should I tell her?

[florence of suburbia]

She told you not to tell her, so don't.

[ah8kp]

viewers please reply with any advice at all this is killing me

[Star_Bright]

I say since you were unofficial and she knew you were out sowing your wild oats and she was okay with it but didn't want to know the details, don't tell her. If you know you want her and only her now, that is a good thing to have figured out. Now I can see how this might hold you guys back if part of her always wants to know and can't move on, or if you always feel guilty or want to tell her when she doesn't want to know etc. But cross that bridge when or if you come to it. Right now if you have decided you want to be exclusive with her again then just let her know and take things from there. I say DON'T tell her if she doesn't want to know, that is just cruel. Good luck.

[painfullyobvious]

I would not tell her. You found out that you are one of those people with a moral compass and are unable to just randomly hookup with people without feeling guilty. Remember this the next time you need some "attention" for your ego or think you need to play the field a little bit. I agree that if you become serious again you better let her know that you were with someone while you were unofficial.

 

You should probably head over to the long distance relationship portion of this website. Being in college and dating a high schooler has to be tough.

[Dexter Morgan]

if I were a girl would I get rid of you? without blinking an eye.

 

why don't you just break it off completely with her so you can go stick it in whoever you want? face it, you'll never be faithful to her. you want to bone different girls and will never be satisfied with the same girl for too awful long.

[machiavellian]

That sounds like cheating to me. You made your relationship "unofficial" specifically so you could bang other women without losing your gf.

 

I would've gotten rid of you in a heartbeat when you made us "unofficial", I wouldn't have waited for you to make a move on another girl to dump you.

[Cee]

Please, don't tell her. She doesn't want to know. If you tell her anyway, you are being cruel. If you need to confess what happened, find a counselor or a priest.

[Ash20]

I think this was a good thing for you to discover. Now you know what you want, and you won't always have that "what if" feeling that could potentially damage your relationship later. The whole relationship being "unofficial" thing is a bit trickier. If she said she doesn't want to know, do not tell her. However, DO tell her how you feel about her. If there ever comes a time when she does want to know, tell her and explain what you learned from the experience and what it made you realize. Explaining the realization will help soften the blow. If she goes off to college, she may experience the same feelings you are.

[LoveAintEverything]

The only way to get rid of being guilty is telling her the truth. If you love her that much you would tell her!