jj2007 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Thanks for sharing all of your stories . I am keeping my eye on things with my daughter and we have spent some lovely times together since she moved out. I am delighted with her sense of independence and that she feels she could be honest and state what she wanted to do. I just keep telling her I love & miss her and that she always has a home here. Once she is happy that is all that counts really. After reading 'always searching' post I felt a bit panciked . What a horrible experience and I my heart goes out to you. Big Hugs to you You are doing awesome! Just showing the unconditional support & love you have for her is of great importance and will only make you two closer in the long run anyway.. Keep it up! You & your daughter will continue to be in my thoughts & prayers! Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity2 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 You are doing awesome! Just showing the unconditional support & love you have for her is of great importance and will only make you two closer in the long run anyway.. Keep it up! You & your daughter will continue to be in my thoughts & prayers! Here Here!! Excellent response, and ditto on that:D Link to post Share on other sites
karaann07 Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 I think the point fooled was making is that it doesn't necessarily do your child a favor to let him think he has just as much right to make such important decisions as an adult does. Kids today already have enough trouble with thinking they have equal (or greater) rights than other people - look at the issues they're having in workplaces; and I think the major reason for that is them not being raised to understand and respect authority. I never let my daughter even consider that she could quit school, for instance. Letting her think she had the right to make that decision, as a minor, does nothing toward helping her grow into a confident, self-assured young adult. It only confuses them and stresses them. Let them know that you'll be making their major decisions for them til they are 18 (barring an abusive situation); THEN they are free to do whatever they want. I get both of your points, and I agree about the "entitlement" that children, in general, seem to have these days. But, really... is 18 a magic number? What if they're 17 and 3/4 and want to get a GED instead of finish high school? Or what if they're 20 and don't know how to tie their own shoes? Clearly, I'm being dramatic, but my point is that each child is different. There is nothing magic about the age of 18 and something in your brain that suddenly makes you able to make intelligent life decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
karaann07 Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 BettyBoo, I agree with your decision. At 16 years old, I know I was capable of thinking through a decision like moving in with another parent. (That wasn't an option for me, nor would I have wanted to, but my point is that I was mentally capable of seeing the consequences.) I agree that you had a choice to "force" her to stay home, but by allowing her to go to a situation that she feels is better for her, you are opening yourself up for a more open relationship with her. Wishing you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Imo, the OP is approaching this the right way, through the heartache of it all. I say, as long as where Dad lives is a nice area, he is a supportive parent and the young person is studying or working, be happy for her. My daughters Dad is back in her life but she would not move in with him because he lives in an area that is not too great. I have told her that if she wants to live with him she can though but it may be hard for her. Ce la vie.. they have to grow up. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
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