I'm new I'm on here because I have problems with my girl friend! need advice

[stinky_81JL]

I'm going to try to make this short. I've been dating this girl for going on a year this month

I'm totally in love with her BUT she has some problems I do as well I don't trust her and she

Has some mental issues when she gets in these moods she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship and she says the most hurt full crap I've ever heard then the next day she is fine but this all has played a toll on my ego and my thoughts on her I still love her and want to work this out

 

I just Really have problems trusting her because of the way we met and because she had a lot of F buddies when we first met which for me is odd I have had more partners but not so many on call at once plus I will admit I have a double standard toward that kind of thing But we also broke up after dating for like 3 months and she slept with some guy with in 2 weeks then we got back together But the big deal is these moods

 

And I just want to feel like there is security in our relationship every time I talk to her about It things get bad on the phone and in person? So I don't know where to turn I love her and I need to know that she is totally into me we talk about getting married and kids then she goes crazy and says mean things and she says she is not sure she is in love with me

Any Help would be grateful any advice would be help full as well Thanks for your time

 

 

Your confused friend

[Arabess]

we talk about getting married and kids then she goes crazy and says mean things and she says she is not sure she is in love with me

 

Is this a person you REALLY want to have children with????????

 

Maybe I'm missing the point, but she sounds like someone who need some therapy before embarking on a relationship....much less having children.

[sami]

Trust is the most important factor in human relations. If you don't trust her why are in this relationship in the first place?. A relationship which is not based on trust is not a relationship at all.

[stinky_81JL]

Well first let me say thanks for the replies.

Yes she does need therapy and she is on meds.

I told her last weekend after we got into a big fight.

That she did because she really hurt me.

She said I think it's over like she isn't going to do it again,

But I know she is I will eventually have to make her go to therapy.

Yes this is the girl I want to marry I love her to death and here in Miami yes I could have a lot and a lot of other girls but most girls here are just not faithful all they like to do is party and nothing more they are confused which is cool I’m only 22 and most of them are as old or 5 years older but I’ve played for a long time I was one of the privileged kids that got a lot of attention from a lot of people for like 6yrs strait. So on night I helped a friend get over his x and I went out with him one night I found this girl that I eventually feel in love with and I’m willing to try my hardest to make this work if there is a way. The kids part is in the future like 3 to 4 years from now but the reason I mentioned that is to emphasize that she loves me. I’ve never had a girl tell me she wanted to get married have kids all that jazz you know so It ment something.

The trust thing in my part is my insecurity I really have a problem trusting women and she has made that problem worse toward her because of things she has said and done.

She has never cheated on me but she did sleep with some guy after 2 weeks after we broke up then right after cried about it on the phone with me telling me she wanted to die crazy girl but the point is the trust issue sucks but what should I try to do to resolve these problems like we went to monkey jungle over the weekend had fun so when she is in a good mental state she is the best person for me in my eyes. So to me it’s worth all I can give maybe I’m just weak I don’t know

[stinky_81JL]

Ps how do I post my pic on this?

[sami]

If you think you are week then you have to start working on yourself.

[stinky_81JL]

I don't think I'm weak at all actually I'm confident only with this girl have I felt insecure at times

I'm very self aware not weak Why I said that I really don't know I guess because I've never put up with this stuff in my life but as they say the things you do for love

Please someone give me some good insight to my problem maybe I just need to get a out side options on what to do all my friends say dump her and move on but one because he knows what it's like to be in love

[sami]

Do you think you are really in love or you are infatuated ?.

[stinky_81JL]

I think I'm In love with her that part of her that is nice sweet sexy

Not the crazy side I'm kinda getting sick of her none sense though Today I wrote her this and added PICS that I made with photo shop I also told her I was having a hard time It's her crazy month time but still I need support as well she calls me a child because I got up set that I could not see her on Friday we only see echother on FRI Sat sun so she has work/school things to do so she can't see me of course I'm up set I spent hours writing this and I also am needy yes I need some support for once some concrete evidence that she really gives a **** but this is what I wrote her

 

 

Well, let me begin by saying thanks for being here with me although I have all of this Bs going on with my driving and my calling you all the time and my moods at times. I really hope you know how much I love you and want nothing more then to make you happy for the rest of you life and that I will support you in anything you do and help you with any problem you have and my love is infonet and immeasurable toward you I can't even say or show you how much I love you But I will start to try with this small little letter and pictures If I could give you the whole world It would be yours and yours alone If I won a billion dollars I would give it to you for but one kiss If I was king you would be my ruling queen If you were lost I would be there to find you If you past you would always be remembered and loved through out the remainder of my life time If I could only make you see how much I love you and how happy you make me I would have accomplished a great deal If I could hear you tell me you love me a billion times in a row It would never get old

 

 

 

The driving thing is tough on her she lives like Id say 22 to 26 miles from me like a half hour drive on the turnpike I can't drive till July I was a bad boy but what ever that is what that meant

[amazinglywow]

i think it sucks if she doesn't know if she's in love with you or not, and here you are helping her through her problems. i wish my bf would help me out, amongst other things.

 

i don't know what she gets moody over, but i'm guessing everything. if you love her and see a future with her, stick by her. help her through her problem. it's a good thing she's gettin therapy. it'll help. she won't change 100%, no one can.

 

i was kinda like your gf in the beginin of my current relationship, but that was cause of his past. and i would go nuts. but i got over it, cause he would tell me straight up about the stupid things i would say. so then i listened to myself one day.. and i did sound dumb... and changed.

 

maybe she has unresolved issues, or there's something in her family background, or previous relationships, that needs to be resolved within herself.

 

we argue a whole lot less. but sad to say, i did it on my own, he wasn't there for me. he would just say 'you need to change'...

 

she doesn't mean to say hurtful things. everyone does it, when your arguin and your not being mature at that moment. people will say anything to hurt the other person, and not mean it. but it can take a toll on you.

 

maybe, she can get all her mood swings out if she had a journal. its helped me lots. just don't give up on her.

 

sorry if i wasn't much help...