ex problems..

[kittenwithawhip]

Yeah well my fiance called his ex-girlfriend(first love) of like 3-4 yrs to check up on her and see how she was doing. Fine with that.. then she mailed him since he is in the army. So he is at AIT right now.. she was like "I wish I had a guy that treated me how you did." She is whining about all her lil boyfriend problems to him and it sounds not right to me at all. To me she has other motives for comfort. I am sorry. He tells me she knows she cant have him back but I dont know. He called me all depressed and told me he has never loved anyone like he loved her before. I asked him what he would do if she wanted to get back with him and at first he said he doesnt know what he would do if he was put in that position but then he said he would never break up with me. So obviously he is majorly confused and still has feelings for her. I wrote him like 4 letters all pissed off and he read a lil today. He thinks I am paranoid and it isnt the fact that I am scared he will cheat. It hella is not that. I trust him with almost everything because I dont even trust myself fully so yeah. He wont cheat on me... but anyways.. he told me he was sorry for hesitating when I asked him that question about what he would do if she wanted to get back together(I think she has other motives I am sorri I am a women so yeah I know what is going on thru these girls minds, I am not stupid!! He thinks I am crazy but he thought that last time when this girl Alecia obsessed over him and I was right so whateva.) He told me he would never leave me for her because he loves me as much or even more than he loves/loved? her. I asked him if he still had feelings for her.. he said he wasnt going to answer that question right now and he will call me back later and we will talk about it. He didnt call. I gave him a choice it is either his past or his present. I dont know for some reason I dont see this as healthy. I trust my gut and I dont think I am crazy but he does. I dont know why he doesnt understand.. you will never look at your ex you were in love with and had intimate relations with the same ever again. Oh yeah not to mention she treated him bad and gave him chlamdyia two times.. one of those times I GOT IT. That bitch put me in danger. She cheated on him.. its partly his fault I guess for not wearing a condom and partly my fault for not wearing a condom but she ****ed around on him. I dont know why he still talks to her.. I dont like her. She put both of our health in danger. It would be different if they had no feelings for each other and that she didnt screw him over so much. I dont know what sounds right about this? I dont think it is healthy for him to cling on to his ex like this when he is in a loving relationship. I think I am better than her ass anyday.. but someone told me it isnt because of that. It is because she rejected him and he is interested because he feels like he has to prove that he is good enough for her. Which does make sense but he is taken now. Why does he think he has a right to talk to girls he has feelings for? I might as well go talk to the guys I have feelings for and see how he likes it. My feelings for other guys are just attraction nothing emotional like that!! Which makes it worse! I dont even care for any of them like I love my boy with all my heart and I am more attracted to him then I am to them anydaaaay. I want to stop it because I see a train wreck and I see myself getting very hurt if I ignore it. I dont know if I can deal with it even if he stops talking to her. I am mad he still has feelings for her and is putting himself in the position where these feelings would grow. What the f but does it sound odd to you because it really sounds odd to me. He is trying to defend himself and trying to convince me that I am wrong and that I am just freaking out and am paranoid. I dont think it is fair to give me part of his heart and then have another part with his ex when I am giving him everything, my whole heart. Maybe I am just resentful but I wouldnt even be talking to her even if she was my first love. This guy is my first love and if he cheated on me ever. No hell no. I dont even know what I would do! & I dont think I am over reacting. Yeah he wants to be with me but why should he be having feelings for two girls. I think he needs to get over it before he even started a relationship especially one where he wants to get married and have kids. I dont think it is right. I dunno, everyone I have talked to said this isnt a good idea for them to be talking. I am going to talk to my school counsler tomorrow also to see if she has anything to say about this. What do ya guys think. Oh by the way I am new. =) <3

[louisemc]

really immature and still in love with her. I would not be happy if I had a boyfriend who was calling his ex all the time. I would move on and find a real man and not a boy!

[kittenwithawhip]

Originally posted by louisemc

really immature and still in love with her. I would not be happy if I had a boyfriend who was calling his ex all the time. I would move on and find a real man and not a boy!

No he hasnt called her all the time. He just called her from AIT once because I wasnt home and I guess he wanted to talk to someone and was checkin up on her and seeing how she was doing but then he thought it was ok for him and her to write which I am not okay with so this is where the problem started. It hasnt been going on a lot. I move fast! Its only been happening for a wk! It seems suspicious to me and he isnt a liar but everyone is saying he is too immature for a relationship. I dunno I told him its me or her and I dont know what he is going to pick but I will see tomorrow if I get to talk to him. I dont even know if I can be happy even if he does choose me. I am confused. This is stupid. I dont even know if this is even worth my time because if he wants to be talking to her he has unfinished business which means why the **** is he with me? He told me he wouldnt be mad if I was doing that. YEAH RIGHT. That is hilarious. What a joke. I think he read all my letters so we will see what he says tomorrow.. hopefully he understands this ****. Maybe he talked to some girls to get an insite because he can be kinda naive but I dont know how he doesnt think this is wrong. I mean common sense?