My Boyfriend lives with his Ex

[luvshaaker]

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year now, actually literally as of last week. Furthermore, his ex girlfriend and him were together for 5 years, and ended 7 years ago. In that 7 year stretch before me, he had another relationship with a girl who he seemed to really hate actually, for a few years during that time. So my issue is, his ex girlfriend, the original one, still lives with him. He says they never officially sat down and "broke up" but it's completely implied. He says they are more like mutual roommates now, and there's not an ounce of me that doesn't trust him, even if the situation kills me. The other part is that she still sleeps in the same bed. He's asked her to move out countless times, and if not, to at least get a new bed, and she always comes up with a reason to not be able to, usually financial. She hasn't paid a bill in 8 years and is working well, so that right there isn't believable.. My boyfriend and I are really close, and she hates me because we used to be friends, but now she doesn't really know we're together, but everyone else in his life does. The other part is that he brings her to family functions, friend functions, and holidays, even though everyone knows they aren't together. It bothers his friends and family too, but my boyfriend says he knows and is sick of hearing it. When I bring it up, he gets defensive saying he doesn't see the need to get rid of her if they are nothing more than friends. But he says he understands my discomfort, and that he's had serious relationships fail, and he wants to do it right with me because he says he can see being with me, and he couldn't with the previous girlfriends. So how do I get rid of her? Or does this seem acceptable? He also says he knows he's going to have to force her out soon, but he doesn't know when and how since she's never there because of work.

[luvshaaker]

bump, please help!

[anne1707]

Let me get this straight:

• they still share a bed
  
• he pays her bills
  
• they have never officially split up
  
• he takes her to family & friends events
  
• they go on holiday together
  
• she does not know that you and he are seeing each other
  
• he does not want to change this set-up
  

I'm sorry but it sounds to me like they are very much still together and that he is cheating on her with you

[2sure]

You are not his girlfriend. The woman who has been living with him and sharing his bed for the last 12 years is.

 

I dont care who knows he is cheating on his girlfriend...that doesnt make the girlfriend you.

 

He takes his girlfriend to family functions. Not you.

 

He is telling her that you are just a friend. He doesnt live with you, you cant sleep over his house, and he doesnt take you to see his family.

 

He is telling you that she is just a friend. He lives with her, sleeps with her every night and she is part of his family.

 

Actually...you may be his girlfriend but you are his gf on the side.

You will no doubt go the way of his previous gf on the side.

 

It is not her you need to get rid of.

[Cee]

This guy has the making of a con artist b/c somehow he's been duping his live-in girlfriend & two other women he pretended were girlfriends. He has some serious psychological problems or maybe he's just a bad guy.

 

That "ex" of his who he hates is probably a smart cookie. Because she's completely out of the picture. I would run from this situation, find a safe place, and cry your eyes out to your trusted friends. Please, don't listen to anything this man says. Listen to your common sense. Listen to what your friends say.

 

Good luck.

[Yvette_Sveden]

After reading the last three posts, I would love to see how "loveshasker" rationalizes this.

 

If I share the same bed with a guy who I never officially broke it off with, every single night for several years, trust me, something is going to happen. And, no, that "something" won't be counting sheep.

 

If I were that girl who he's living with, I will definitely make him cum so lovely every night, especially since she hates you. What better way to get back at you than that?

 

You have to cut all ties with him.

[freestyle]

OP, you're the other woman--not the girlfriend.

 

Any man who wants to keep you a secret is NOT worth your time-especially after a year.

[machiavellian]

Is this for real??

 

OP, you are not the GF, you are the girl he is cheating on his GF with.