asilisa Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I feel like I post some new drama every day. Thing is he went away up New York for the weekend and ended up sleeping with some girl from the bar. He told me as soon as he came home and told me how sorry he was and all that stuff. Thing is, it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. I'm still with him, because I see it working out. He has said this was a huge mistake and wasn't worth the risk of losing me. And of course this will never happen again. I never thought it would happen in the first place, cause he just doesn't seem like that type of person. So I find myself believeing it won't happen again. I have my moments of doubt and he is there for me when I do, and that is what I need. We have only been going out for 3 months so it is early on in the relationship. I figure if things get to be to much I'll just have to walk away. I just need someone to tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to trust him again and believeing I will. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 You've only been going out for 3 MONTHS and he has ALREADY CHEATED on you. I would think this was not only a BIG RED FLAG but divine intervention letting you know that this guy isn't right for you. He is obviously not as commited to you as you are to him. For that matter, he doesn't seem to care about you as much as he does for himself. The fact that he exhibits this behavior early on in the relationship is an indicative of things to come. Walk away while your dignity is still intact. Neither you nor your love can reform this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Benedict Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 This can be seen as a very good situation! He has done you the immense favor of demonstarting that he is a SNAKE very early on, so that you don't need to go through the heartache and misery after you kick him to the curb - which is where he belongs! Do not waste another nano-second on this guy; get out while you are not emotionally invested in him... Link to post Share on other sites
Orange county Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 The last two people that replied on here have no idea what they are talking about. First of all, why would the guy even tell you? It is obvious that he is very into you and he is sincerely upset about it and absolutely has no intentions of doing it again. Plus it has only been three months. How much “love” and devotion can you expect in such a short time? Take it from me. I am a cheater. I don’t tell my girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 Even if you stay with this guy, you need to be realistic. You can take him back, try to trust him, and he may never cheat again. But every time he goes out of town, you'll probably have a small thought in your head, "Is he fooling around with another girl he picked up at a bar?" You can take him back, try to trust him, and he may go off and cheat on you again. He may confess, or like Orange County, he might keep it quiet. It's only been a three month relationship, and the fact that he has already had sex with another girl isn't a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author asilisa Posted March 5, 2004 Author Share Posted March 5, 2004 Thanks for replying.. What you said is exactly what i've been thinking. I know lots of peolpe who cheat on the boyfriend/girlfriend. The difference is they keep doing it and not telling their partner. I know one couple who has been together for 5 years and the one cheats on the other almost every weekend. I guess I am crazy but I look at him telling me as a good sign, like he doesn't want to do it again, and it was a mistake. You never know what will happen, he might cheat on me again but maybe he won't. Only time will tell. Thanks for all the reply's though. And to everyone saying its only been 3 months and he already cheated on you with another girl -- what are you trying to say that if it was 3 years and he cheated that would be better? Thats not really a good argument to me. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 Why did you bother posting this question if you were going to go ahead and stay with him anyway. I've read your other posts and it seems to me you were looking for people to tell you not to get involved with this guy just so you could go ahead and tell them that you were staying with him. You seem to live in an environment where cheating is not only common practice but a requisite for having a relationship. Look at the other posts on this board. To most people, it's a gut wrenching experience to discover that their partner is cheating on them whether the relationship was for 3 months, 3 years or 30 years. By the way, just because he confessed his infidelity to you doesn't mean he will be faithful. Again, look at the other posts on this board. There are so many stories of people whose cheating partner confessed to them only to have the cheating partner revert to his/her old ways time and time again. Do you know why the cheaters went back to cheating? Because they could. Do you know how the people who were cheated on felt? Doormats. You're free to post whatever you want on this board. Just don't do it on the pretense that you're seeking advice. If you want people to tell you to support you in your decision to stay with him just say so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author asilisa Posted March 5, 2004 Author Share Posted March 5, 2004 I posted the question cause its free world, why did you answer? I guess the same reason. I never said that he wouldn't cheat again, I said that I felt like he wouldn't. But who knows what will happen? I'm young and so is he. And if you read my other posts then you should know that I believe the way I look at relationships isn't to great. So because him cheating on me didn't ruin my life there is something wrong with me? I don't think so, I think its better this way. Atleast I don't feel like crap. I think feeling like crap cause someone cheated on you is far worse than not feeling like crap. Also I think that when I posted I stated that I was staying with him, I was just seeking other peoples advice. I believe finding out your partner cheated on you 3 months, 3 years or 30 years into the relationship is all the same also, that was the point I was trying to make. Just because me and him have only been going out 3 months doesn't mean anything. All I really wanna say is I don't need your attitude, and I didn't ask for it. Don't tell me what to do, thanks. Cheating is a common pratice in every environment, look at the relationships around you alittle harder. I'm not saying everyone cheats but a good amount of people do. Link to post Share on other sites
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