Just messaged my ex girlfriend.

[ShannonMI]

First serious boyfriend if you catch my drift...

First sexual partner? Yes, I catch your drift. She probably still has feelings for you then. You were her first bf and her first love. Maybe this Gavin nonsense is to make you jealous?? Because she knows you check her fb page, right?

[Polar]

I don't know if she knows...but I think she must suspect or she'd be an idiot.

 

She used to have me blocked on facebook but recently she's unblocked me, suspicious huh?

 

Thanks for all your help Shannon, I know it's a bit confusing and i'm probably annoying but it's nice to have somebody to talk to about it.

[ShannonMI]

I don't know if she knows...but I think she must suspect or she'd be an idiot.

 

She used to have me blocked on facebook but recently she's unblocked me, suspicious huh?

 

Thanks for all your help Shannon, I know it's a bit confusing and i'm probably annoying but it's nice to have somebody to talk to about it.

No, you aren't annoying! Hahahaha you're young, that's all. I would say she still has feelings for you and you should leave her be for awhile. She may come around.

[Polar]

I'm almost certain that it was her as the message did not show up on my friend's formspring like most spam messages do...thats means it is from a real person.

 

So...everyone here has their story, whats your shannon?

[ShannonMI]

I'm almost certain that it was her as the message did not show up on my friend's formspring like most spam messages do...thats means it is from a real person.

 

So...everyone here has their story, whats your shannon?

Ugh!! Dated my ex for 8 years. He dumped me at the end of May. Told me he had changed and we weren't right for each other. I was caught completely off guard because he never gave any indication he was unhappy. At least I was blinded to the signs. Come to find out he cheated on me a week before he even told me he wanted to breakup and now he is dating the girl he cheated with. So that's my story. I'm doing better then I was when it all first went down. I'm glad I have LS or I'd be a real basketcase!

[Polar]

Yeah it does strangely help...i'm going to try and get some sleep.

 

I'll no doubt end up speaking to you soon, stay safe.

[Am4Real]

I'm almost certain that it was her as the message did not show up on my friend's formspring like most spam messages do...thats means it is from a real person.

 

So...everyone here has their story, whats your shannon?

 

Text, Facebook...whatever...

 

If you want a serious relationship use a serious communication method. Using these imature means to communicate rearely works and only adds to the misunderstsnding and words left unsaid, etc.

 

You want her...then get off your duff and and use good old verbal communication methods to express yourself otherwise move on. Reading a transcript of your text messages and Facebook posts is of little interest and consequence to this forum.

[ShannonMI]

Text, Facebook...whatever...

 

If you want a serious relationship use a serious communication method. Using these imature means to communicate rearely works and only adds to the misunderstsnding and words left unsaid, etc.

 

You want her...then get off your duff and and use good old verbal communication methods to express yourself otherwise move on. Reading a transcript of your text messages and Facebook posts is of little interest and consequence to this forum.

Ditto to this!

[swfc_77]

most people dont realise that facebook and too some extent texting are the biggest killers of relationships, when i was on facebook and in a happy relationship i'd find myself bombarded when random messages from girls, i'd also find my self looking at girls pictures who i barely knew.

 

i then got rid of facebook as i knew the temtation would end up killing my relationship.

 

i think facebook is ok for keeping in touch with family and good friends who you might not see any more, but its becoming a problem for a lot of people including myself when your partner or ex partner is getting messages and sending messages to everyone and his brother.

 

my ex left me her password while she went away and i had a quick look back in august. in 1 week she had 3 seperate conversations going with 3 different lads, thats 3 in one week that averages out at over 100 private conversations a year. lol. its mental. messages were flirty but nothing too heavy but still not nice to see.

 

if it was me then she would have cut my balls off, hence why i got rid because it was getting too much, she couldn't understand why i went a bit mad about it. they were just being friendly. yeah ok.

 

its too easy for random strangers who only know your name to find out a lot about you, your business should be your business unless you are willing to share it with some one in person.

 

just imagin how many good relationships have broken down due to intimate, private conversations with the opposite sex on facebook

[Polar]

Text, Facebook...whatever...

 

If you want a serious relationship use a serious communication method. Using these imature means to communicate rearely works and only adds to the misunderstsnding and words left unsaid, etc.

 

You want her...then get off your duff and and use good old verbal communication methods to express yourself otherwise move on. Reading a transcript of your text messages and Facebook posts is of little interest and consequence to this forum.

 

What am I supposed to do?

 

She won't meetup with me and I don't go to school with her; thus I have no contact?

[Am4Real]

 

 

What am I supposed to do?

 

 

Dear Polar,

 

There is not enough information in these four pages of threads to completely understand your situation. Pleases direct me to another thread where your history is posted in concise form; I promise you to review it.

 

One thing I’ve learned in life is we all need to know when something is REALLY IMPORTANT to us, the effort we put into either gaining it or sustaining it has to match or better yet, exceed the value of the object. In other words if this person is that important to you have your efforts matched that importance?

 

Hence the dilemma of electronic communications where the response to my question is a simple NO.

 

Once I understand your history perhaps there are some suggestions, in the meantime all you are going to do using electronic communications is reminisce old history and memories without moving forward, or further aggravating an undesirable situation.

 

I’ll wait for your next posting and hopefully I (we) can be of assistance.

 

Try and rest easy in the meantime…

 

Am4Real

[swfc_77]

i'v got some advice for you polar.

 

go out into the real world - meet new people - your young get drunk, get laid, live your life a little before settling down - dont waste your life sat in front of a computer messing around on your gf's facebook.

[Polar]

Right the history...

 

Me and her started dating in March of last year however it was on and off until september when we got together and stayed together. We had sex last september, I was her first time.

 

We spent literally EVERYDAY together and most nights she would sleep over at mine...we were very dependant on eachother, completely in love.

 

In march we split up due to me finding out that she was flirting with other people on her msn...we stayed close and sexualy active and got back together around July...however we had drifted slightly apart and she seemed angry most of the time...she never wanted to do things with me.

|

Thats when she came on facebook and told me those words "I like someone else" I was so upset that I went out and one of my bestfriends (who is female) comferted me...she ended up taking me back to hers and when I was crying she kissed me...the girlfriend then found out.

 

I invited my girlfriend over the next week and she came to stay the night...she confessed she had only told me that to make me jealous and pay her more attention...(I was neglecting her also because I had depression)...anyway it was an amazing night and things were good yet again...we decided to go on a volunteering holiday...she lost the bracelet I had given her whilst cutting down trees.

 

Off we went for the week and things were beautiful, until we got back...and my EX friend told her about the kiss...she found out whilst she was at home and rang me raging.

 

At first I didn't know how to take it so I said i'm sorry and stayed away from the PC for a few days...handeled it very badly, I should have been there for her! It was me who hurt her, not the other way around.

 

Then...I sent her roses. I begged, I pleaded for weeks...twice in person, lots on the phone and msn. I walked fourty miles to find the bracelet...it took me 9 hours searching through the forest until god finally smiled upon me and I found it.

 

I took it to her house and she said "God I have a lot of thinking to do, nobody would ever do that for me..." but she noticed cuts on my wrists (I HAVEN'T DONE THIS SINCE!!!) and seemed disapointed.

 

I went back into begging and pleading mode! I know I shouldn't have...pushing her further away.

 

Eventually I cut the begging and pleading and she started being civil...sending me cute little messages...I of course responded.

 

One night she came on msn asked if we could talk and said "Have you kissed anyone else?" I kept saying that "It doesn't matter...I wanna talk in person, your worth more than msn" but she insisted...and said she'd delete me if I didn't tell her, I told her "No, I haven't kissed anyone else...but somebody tried to kiss me and I pushed them off" which is true. She got upset and said "Goodbye forever Aaron, I loved you!" I rang her crying, shaking and begging again...I didn't understand what I had done wrong. She said she had only asked me to see if "I could keep it in my pants"...

 

She rang me two days later upset...I asked what was up? She told me she is in a relationship...with Gavin, a boy she knows from xbox live (pretty much her life nowadays!!!)

 

I decided to be mature and wish her luck...she said it was just easier if we didn't speak anymore and then I said "Well Gavin sounds like a nice guy"...she responded whispering "Yes but he's not you"...she started to cry saying it doesn't feel right with him and that she wished I hadn't cheated on her so she didn't have to do this. We then said goodbye and that was that...

 

Then on formspring I got cute messages from her with all the old nicknames she used to have for me, saying she loves me and will keep the bracelet forever...I responded with small talk, telling her I love her too.

 

The next week I left her a voicemail and sent her a letter saying basically the same thing...that I will miss her and respect her decision. She unblocked me on facebook which was weird :/ the next message I got was a few days later saying "I had to send this, but apart from this please stop trying to contact me. It just didn't feel right not inviting you" and an invite to her 18th birthday party. I responded with "I don't know yet, sorry if this message doesn't get through...new phone and all that" she responded with "Erm K you could just say no" I said "Like I said I don't know yet", she responded with "What phone do you have?" I responded...she ignores me.

 

So then I start getting all these weird adds on facebook from fake accounts? As if she is trying to find out what i'm doing...I decline and send one of them a message saying "Gemma stop playing games..." the account gets deleted???

 

Then I send her a message saying "It hurt when you told me your dating, I don't want to lie anymore, if you take this chance I promise you things will be perfect" she doesn't respond...One week of NC goes by, her sister trys to add me on facebook randomly? I accept but then remove the sister after seeing she has pictures from a party her and my ex were at...maybe a ploy to upset me?

 

We went four days NC and then I sent her the message you see above...just saying Guess what film I watched ...

Any ideas?

 

EDIT: I don't drink...I have been out.

[Am4Real]

Right the history...

 

Me and her started dating in March of last year however it was on and off until september when we got together and stayed together. We had sex last september, I was her first time.

 

 

We went four days NC and then I sent her the message you see above...just saying Guess what film I watched ...

 

 

Any ideas?

 

EDIT: I don't drink...I have been out.

 

 

You both sound pretty young by the sounds of the antics and other activities.

 

First romances and first-time sexual experiences for either person bring about much, especially confusion about meaning, loyalty, dedication and the future.

 

Don’t try to figure her out – work on you right now.

 

I would leave her alone. Stop trying to contact her. She will respond to your contacts like she has been doing but without a commitment and without words of reconciliation. Since you want the opposite, there is no point in hoping “she will come to her senses” or whatever else has been going through your mind.

 

Leave her alone; go NO CONTACT and work on your healing.

 

She is likely to continue with these silly games – resist the urge to scold her, to respond or return anything of like kind.

 

If she truly loves you she will come to you with the words you need to hear and will do what it takes to make this work – although by the sounds of things it’s been pretty rocky from the very start and perhaps you’re simply not meant for each other.

 

If she doesn’t come to you...then you will have started to move on and with eventually being happy, you will make yourself very attractive to the next good gal that comes your way!

[Polar]

I could message her with an ultimatum.. :\

[jerbear]

I could message her with an ultimatum.. :\

 

That will make things worse, just let it be.

[Polar]

I feel like she is testing me in someway...

 

I want to message her again but maybe I should leave it another week?

[ShannonMI]

I feel like she is testing me in someway...

 

I want to message her again but maybe I should leave it another week?

Like Am4real said....GO NO CONTACT!!!!! Stop trying to figure her out. And just don't contact her anymore. I know it's hard to do, but if you think you may have any chance with her, you need to leave her be. Let her come to you.

[Polar]

I just got another message on formspring saying "You really are x"...

 

In response to the question "Your too amazing" I responded "Noes i'm not :)", so clearly it is someone, if not her, checking back to see my response x

[Polar]

Right, I just found out that when were together she had a online affair with some other kid from xbox?

 

This is getting ridiculous, I wouldn't even take the bitch back anymore...apparently she was crying to someone online guy that I used to know begging him not to tell me.

 

I'm in two minds, whether to let her know I know by sending a message telling her basically to never ever come near me again or whether to just go NC and if she wants me back to tell her to **** off.

 

ANYWAY, that's the end of my attempts to get that ****ing liar back...time to actually get over her.

[Banega100]

Right, I just found out that when were together she had a online affair with some other kid from xbox?

 

LOL! Dude, how old are you??

 

at least youre mad at her now, that'l make things easier. Just dont get too crazy and nudge her on msn or anything...

[Polar]

LOL! Dude, how old are you??

 

at least youre mad at her now, that'l make things easier. Just dont get too crazy and nudge her on msn or anything...

 

I'm 19 and she is 17 LMAO.

 

It's ridiculous!

[Polar]

I know she still has feeling for me though otherwise why does she leave me these messages on formspring saying i'm amazing etc?

 

Coist that actually made me feel better, thank you so much.