are these normal feeling?

[newatthis1]

It has been one week and two days since he moved out. I found out that he was having an emotional affair and I kicked him out of the house. I am going through the worst time of my life, I am having a rollercoaster of emotions that I can't control, I am so hurt. Last Sunday, he came over to hang out with the kids, and seing him there at our house with our children was too much for me. My three year old has been asking about him and wondering where he's been, I don't know what to tell him, so I asked him to come back home and work things out with me. He said that he wanted to be separated for a while, I asked him if he was dating her and he said "not yet". He didn't want to work things out with me so he can have a chance with her. I was devastated, I felt worthless. So, I picked my self of the ground and called every single friend that I have(even the ones that I haven't talk to in years) and started making plans. So yesterday, he came over and I pretended to be happy, I told him that he had to watch the kids because I had plans. I went out and when I came back I pretended I was so happy to be single again, but inside all i wanted to do is to hug him and tell him to come back. Last sunday he acted like he was so happy, yesterday he didn't even talk to me, we only talk about the kids. Why isn't he talking to me? why do I remember only the good times we had and not the bad times(there were lots of fights)? why am i not angry at him for cheating? for not trying to save our family?for trying to use me as his safety net?for all the names he calls me?for making me feel worhtless?am I ever going to feel normal again?am I ever going to meet someone?I don't want to be out with friends, I just want to be home with my kids and my husband. I am so confused!

[Minnie09]

Yes, it's normal. I went through that stage, too. For me it was simply too much to handle at that time, emotionally and financially. The future was uncertain. My son was to be raised by a single mom, and all that.

So I felt like you are feeling right now. You don't want to look at the mess and you feel like you have no energy to sort it all out and start all over again, all by yourself, while he who created that mess moves on, possibly with someone new. Yuck!

I felt like you. Didn't want to go through it. Wanted my old life back. I was simply petrified. Everything was too much to handle.

I did IC. Gave me power to actively make a decision. Moved on. It was the hardest thing to do!

But I'm so proud I did it and I feel stronger each day. Try not to run away from your fears. Face them! It's hard, hard, hard. But it's so worth it. You can do it. You can change your life for the better, because HE is NOT going to!!!

[Fooser]

Hey New,

 

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I am currently going through the same thing, but I'm 3 months deep into it. Trust me when I say that what you are feeling is VERY NORMAL! Do not question your feelings right now. The reason you are feeling like this and you have so many questions is because you are still reeling backward from all the emotional punches you've been hit with. Your world that you thought was great has just been rocked in the biggest way of your life.

 

Things get better. Strap yourself in for the emotional rollercoaster because it has just begun. But, trust me, things are going to get better. My advice to you is to have no contact with this guy unless it is for your kid. This is very hard to do especially with how you are feeling. Look up marriage 180 no contact on google, and you will find a list of the best wat to conduct yourself so that A: He will start thinking of what he has done, and B: You will start moving on into a better headspace so that you can think clearer.

 

I, as well as many other people on this blog site know your pain all too well. But stick around for a while. Blogging here and reading responses I have found helps with many answers that you are, and will continue to have. You will begin to realize one major factor on this site. The spouses that leave to have an affair or want to live with someone else think they are going to greener pastures. Pretty much all of them will find out soon enough that they are living a pipe dream, and that they probably made a huge mistake. Guess what then? You will have most likely moved on when they call for forgiveness.

 

Hang in there, and do yourself a big favour. Lean on family and friends to talk to. The more you speak about your feelings, the more you will begin to process what has happened. And trust me, reasons will begin to bubble to the surface. They always do.

 

Be good to you.

 

 

Fooser