bubbie Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I've been with my boyfriend about 16months and live together and we love each other very much. He's a very intelligent, caring and loving boyfriend and I feel loved by him a lot... the problem is- he has a very short 'n hot temper and sort of perfectionist in most of ways so if something goes wrong he gets annoyed badly. When we have argue- he shouts at me pretty badly, calls me names that makes me feel guilty somehow(even i've done nothing wrong) and difficult to talk to so i ended up always go silent which makes him worse. He always tells me he loves me, leaving me lovely notes, surprise me and makes me happy too and I do love him hugely but I really don't know how to deal with his temper these days. Is anyone suffering as same problem as I have?! Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 He's going to have to tone that temper down or you will end up unhappy and all the good bits of the relationship won't make up for it. You can help him but first you have to stop taking responsibility for provoking the reaction: if something goes wrong he gets annoyed badly i ended up always go silent which makes him worse It's not because things are going wrong, it's not because you are quiet - it's because he has a problem. Insist that you will not put up with the worst effects of it - the bits that are directed at you (name calling). Leave the room if he does it, the house if necessary. People can and do change this sort of thing fairly easily but there has to be a real incentive, otherwise it's just easier to let rip - they feel better for it and have transferred all their angst on to you who probably turn it inwards. You need to provide the incentive for him to change. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Fofinha Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 calls me names that makes me feel guilty somehow(even i've done nothing wrong) Hmmmm...that is verbal abuse and nobody should stand for it. Ask him to get professional help. If he refuses, I would definately reconsider this relationship. This could definately lead to worst forms of abuse. It is, for sure, not a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 hmmmm.... you posted this under infidelity. I guess there is more to this than meets the eye. Link to post Share on other sites
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