Rejected by my friend twice - Is getting with her impossible?

[Kain Highwind]

We've been great friends but lately, I've just had really, really strong feelings for her. I asked her out about four months ago and she did the whole good friends thing. I took it but my feelings just got me again and I asked her out again like three weeks ago, about four months after I first did. She told me that we should take a break from talking since she just wants to be friends and I want more

 

I agreed with her but I was thinking of trying to play like the ignoring game when we started talking again to see if that would sort of make her more interested but I just found out over th elast like two days that she is interested in someone else and he likes her too. He's one o our (girl and I's) mutual friend's friend and the mutual friend said that he wouldn't be surprised if htey got married

 

I'm not keeping my hopes up and I am moving on but... If I just stay her friend, if something happens between them, do you think that she might come to me somehow? I hate to relate it to a TV show, since those are just unrealistic but... Like what happened in the Office? Pretty much, I'm not oging out of my way to try anymore, but is us ending up together an impossibility? I mean, I could have swore that she was into me too. I was getting some signs, I thought

[WTRanger]

The only way to really move on is to kill all signs of hope. She's told you twice and now she's told you she wants space. That's extremely kind of her compared to most of the threads on her. Respect her wishes.

[walktheline]

Funny, I had a similar situation as you and I just got done watching The Office and can completely relate to your reference, even if it's just a TV show:p But there's a reason it's just that a TV show, stuff like that rarely happens in real life.

 

I got the whole "let's just be friends" thing today as well. Someone that I really liked and had feelings for and pretty much got blown off.

 

Honestly, if she's told you that twice, it's time to move on and go NC with her, that's the only way you'll feel better about the situation. Yeah, it totally sucks, I'm getting ready to do the same thing and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'll admit I do have the same hope of her "missing" me and reconsidering, but I think it's more realistic to understand the likelihood of that occurring is incredibly slim and it's not something I plan on dwelling on. Good luck, things will get better eventually and maybe this is the time someone else you didn't even consider will drop into your life.

[Kain Highwind]

The only way to really move on is to kill all signs of hope. She's told you twice and now she's told you she wants space. That's extremely kind of her compared to most of the threads on her. Respect her wishes.

I've pretty much given up on all kinds of hope. I'm not gonna try anymore. The only way anything will happen is if she does it

 

I'm just wondering if that's feasibly possible

[Kain Highwind]

Funny, I had a similar situation as you and I just got done watching The Office and can completely relate to your reference, even if it's just a TV show:p But there's a reason it's just that a TV show, stuff like that rarely happens in real life.

 

I got the whole "let's just be friends" thing today as well. Someone that I really liked and had feelings for and pretty much got blown off.

 

Honestly, if she's told you that twice, it's time to move on and go NC with her, that's the only way you'll feel better about the situation. Yeah, it totally sucks, I'm getting ready to do the same thing and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'll admit I do have the same hope of her "missing" me and reconsidering, but I think it's more realistic to understand the likelihood of that occurring is incredibly slim and it's not something I plan on dwelling on. Good luck, things will get better eventually and maybe this is the time someone else you didn't even consider will drop into your life.

I'm actually not upset. I mean, I'm pretty sure we'll be friends again (considering how close we were) and I was actually planning on trying to break NC in like two weeks or so (We've been NC for two already). I'm already setting eyes on other girls, I'm just wondeing if we may end up together at all, even if it is like a year later

[walktheline]

Well that's cool. I don't know if I can go back to being "just friends" with my situation, it's just way to awkward now and I already told her I couldn't do that.

 

At least your moving on, that's when you'll forget about life's "what if's"

[Kain Highwind]

Well that's cool. I don't know if I can go back to being "just friends" with my situation, it's just way to awkward now and I already told her I couldn't do that.

 

At least your moving on, that's when you'll forget about life's "what if's"

Yeah. I know there's nothing I can do myself to get with her, as much as I hate to say it. I just odn't know if she may turn around or not

[WTRanger]

I've pretty much given up on all kinds of hope. I'm not gonna try anymore. The only way anything will happen is if she does it

 

I'm just wondering if that's feasibly possible

 

If you are still wondering, you haven't given up hope. Not a good situation to be in if you ask me. You can't date her, so don't be her friend in hopes that she comes around.

[Kain Highwind]

If you are still wondering, you haven't given up hope. Not a good situation to be in if you ask me. You can't date her, so don't be her friend in hopes that she comes around.

I'm really not getting my hopes up at all. I wanna be her friend because she was a good friend. This would just be an added perk or something. Its not the main reason at all

[WTRanger]

So you are hoping that by being her friend, she will realize what a great guy you are and date you.

 

How is that not using her friendship? How is that not hoping? She has told you twice, not once, but twice that she is not romantically interested in you. Stop thinking of it as a perk, feasible, maybe, might, kinda, sorta, or whatever delusion is in your mind. It's not going to happen. Go find another girl.

 

You cannot be friends with this one. She won't come around. Your feelings will always get in the way, and she'll tell you a third, forth, fifth time until you finally get it. The only way you have a snowball's chance in hell is if you let her go. Move on with your life, show her you don't need her. Date other girls, just move on with your life.

[Kain Highwind]

So you are hoping that by being her friend, she will realize what a great guy you are and date you.

 

How is that not using her friendship? How is that not hoping? She has told you twice, not once, but twice that she is not romantically interested in you. Stop thinking of it as a perk, feasible, maybe, might, kinda, sorta, or whatever delusion is in your mind. It's not going to happen. Go find another girl.

 

You cannot be friends with this one. She won't come around. Your feelings will always get in the way, and she'll tell you a third, forth, fifth time until you finally get it. The only way you have a snowball's chance in hell is if you let her go. Move on with your life, show her you don't need her. Date other girls, just move on with your life.

I'm not using the friendship because I'm not gonna make any moves at all. If anything happens, its gonna be b4ecause of her. I'll still be friends but if she ever wants to be more and I'm available, I may do it

 

I'd be using it if I was just sticking around to get with her but I'm not. I'm willing to stay because I enjoy having her as a friend

 

And I'm moving on to other girls. I'm not gonna actively try for her anymore. I know that won't work

Edited October 22, 2010 by Kain Highwind
no double post