TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I just keep feeling like I can't keep this up. Why am I so f*cking stupid?! Why does this affect me so much!? Please, please, PLEASE, someone give me a f*cking answer! I'm sick of being drunk and missing her. Alcohol, these days, doesn't seem to help me as much as it used to. I'm sick of crying for her, missing her, wishing I was with her. I can't seem to enjoy myself anymore! All I've got left is the booze, which isn't doing what it used to...maybe I just need a different kind of night out...I dunno anymore... I keep trying to picture her as I remember her. It's been 6 months since I've seen her, so her face, her voice, it's all in my memory now and I can't tell whether it's real or not. I know she's not thinking of me, doesn't care about me, has probably forgot I even exist. I meant nothing to her. Am I that worthless?? Why did I tossed aside so easily? Did I really mean nothing to her? I don't know what she's like anymore. But I miss her so much that I can't sleep at night for crying. I just wish she were by my side. Nothing's working. I can't seem to help myself and everyday I feel like I'm falling apart, and I hate myself more and more for everything, for all of it. ...Oh God, what do I do???????? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Sober up before posting on LS TBH, avoiding alcohol and drugs is probably a good idea right now. Hey man, I got no answers. I'm just slogging through it like anyone else. Death, divorce, a cat with its claws in my arm. Spend time with your friends. I've found that really helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Will Someone Give Me The F*cking Answer!! Well..that would be cheating... Breaking up sucks but what sucks worse is wallowing in your own self pity instead up dusting yourself off and changing your attitude toward your ex, learn from it all and apply it in your next relationship. That will make your next relationship better... Time to get under someone if you want to get over someone... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 So, stay sober and f*ck like a It's a start Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I know how you feel. It's been over a year for me. The feelings are still there for her. I know the pain can be a long time going. But it will fade with time. You will get through this just like everyone else has. Hang tough, you can make it Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 So, stay sober and f*ck like a It's a start :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 So, stay sober and f*ck like a It's a start This...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 I know how you feel. It's been over a year for me. The feelings are still there for her. I know the pain can be a long time going. But it will fade with time. You will get through this just like everyone else has. Hang tough, you can make it A year?! I've got so much respect for you. I feel like giving up trying right now. I'm 6 months in and it's as strong as ever, my love and caring for her. I just wanna give up my attempts to move and curl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life. THATS how bad I feel right now. I've never been like this before. What stings so much is knowing she's not even a 3rd as heart broken as me. She doesn't f*cking care!! That's a definite!!!! How could I allow myself to fall for someone who didn't care in the first place? I feel like such a fool!! Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 :)Never drink alone because you'll just drunkdial her. Damn it, slap out of your senses! So aside from losing her, you're going to leave your house in disarray, get a beergut from all the budweiser, and live with facial hair for the rest of your life? Jesus, no pity party for you because then you'll just be undateable. And while you're like this, your ex has still moved on, probably getting herself some, and still enjoying Ladies' Night. The answer: make yourself a f---king priority! There. Have a nice day! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 :)Never drink alone because you'll just drunkdial her. Damn it, slap out of your senses! So aside from losing her, you're going to leave your house in disarray, get a beergut from all the budweiser, and live with facial hair for the rest of your life? Jesus, no pity party for you because then you'll just be undateable. And while you're like this, your ex has still moved on, probably getting herself some, and still enjoying Ladies' Night. The answer: make yourself a f---king priority! There. Have a nice day! Funny you mention that, I DO have a beard right now. My ex always preferred that I shaved coz I gave her a rash when I kissed her. Now, in protest as much as nihilistic apathy, I've stopped shaving and do sport a decent sized beard! I think it looks rather dashing! And yes, my ex is probably getting some cock as I type this! I'd be surprised if she remembered how to spell my f*cking name! I don't want anyone else, though. She's the one for me. I know she is... Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Damn it, slap out of your senses! So aside from losing her, you're going to leave your house in disarray, get a beergut from all the budweiser, and live with facial hair for the rest of your life? What's wrong with living with facial hair? I havn't shaved since my ex left me either. I trim it, but I think i have a nice manly beard. It can be somewhat theraputic. Sometimes after a breakup people feel the need to change their appearance, and growing a beard is a good and reversable way to do that. It's also a really good way to stick it to your ex if they hated beards Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 A year?! I've got so much respect for you. I feel like giving up trying right now. I'm 6 months in and it's as strong as ever, my love and caring for her. I just wanna give up my attempts to move and curl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life. THATS how bad I feel right now. I've never been like this before. What stings so much is knowing she's not even a 3rd as heart broken as me. She doesn't f*cking care!! That's a definite!!!! How could I allow myself to fall for someone who didn't care in the first place? I feel like such a fool!! I know. That's the hardest part. Knowing they don't care. My situation is different though. I was in Afghanistan for a year and when I came back she was gone. So I think your situation is worse. Having to watch her leave and all the pain that goes with it. I wasn't there for any of that. So really, you had it worse than me Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I always grew a beard between serious relationships.. I called it my Female Deterrent. I grew it because I wanted to be by myself till I was ready for another relationship Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 you are just going to have to go thru it. there is really no choice. stop ruminating on it so much and give yourself a break. you prob look like a wreck. i know you felt a lot for the girl, but good grief, you going to let one little girl ruin your whole life?? cmon buddy, you're stronger than that. there are tons of them out there. give yourself a little time, clear your head, and put yourself back together. you could feel something just as deep for anyone of them if you let yourself. they all have the same capacity for love. the thing is tho you have to have your act together first. you're not going to get a good one all strung out. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 A year?! I've got so much respect for you. I feel like giving up trying right now. I'm 6 months in and it's as strong as ever, my love and caring for her. I just wanna give up my attempts to move and curl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life. THATS how bad I feel right now. I've never been like this before. What stings so much is knowing she's not even a 3rd as heart broken as me. She doesn't f*cking care!! That's a definite!!!! How could I allow myself to fall for someone who didn't care in the first place? I feel like such a fool!! I heard a story once about a man who's wife left him for another man. He was so devastated that he went into the mountains to die. But what actually happened was that after awhile, his whole attitude changed and he came out a different man, with a great outlook on life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may not be such a bad idea to shut down, in a sense, so that your spirit can be renewed. Hey, if any of us had THE answer, we'd be at the top of Forbes top 10 billionaires list. There are no easy answers. One thing that I think all of us know is that this pain will eventually go away and you will get past this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 I know. That's the hardest part. Knowing they don't care. My situation is different though. I was in Afghanistan for a year and when I came back she was gone. So I think your situation is worse. Having to watch her leave and all the pain that goes with it. I wasn't there for any of that. So really, you had it worse than me We're all here coz we find it hard to cope. We've all got our own stories and we're all coping with it in our own ways. I dislike that there's no one really to talk to bout it in my life, you know? All my friends have heard it before and, ironically, most of them are too busy with their wives/girlfriends to be able to listen to me moan. Not that I'd want them to. I don't wanna be that guy you don't wanna hang around with coz you know he'll end up moaning bout his ex... Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 What's wrong with living with facial hair? I havn't shaved since my ex left me either. I trim it, but I think i have a nice manly beard. It can be somewhat theraputic. Sometimes after a breakup people feel the need to change their appearance, and growing a beard is a good and reversable way to do that. It's also a really good way to stick it to your ex if they hated beards Because you'll look like Santa Clause? Wasting away in a breakup is just a crime as letting yourself go. Most of the time people feel better when they're doing something that's beneficial to their appearance or health. When I broke up with my ex, I change my hairstyle and dyed my hair. I put my passion into working out. I don't waste away my life not taking care of my hygienes or ruin my liver with nasty beer. It's tough love and I think the OP needs to see that letting himself go won't get his ex back either way. He needs to see his qualities ( under all that beard) and just take care of himself so he can really stick it to the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff2321 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I just keep feeling like I can't keep this up. Why am I so f*cking stupid?! Why does this affect me so much!? Please, please, PLEASE, someone give me a f*cking answer! I'm sick of being drunk and missing her. Alcohol, these days, doesn't seem to help me as much as it used to. I'm sick of crying for her, missing her, wishing I was with her. I can't seem to enjoy myself anymore! All I've got left is the booze, which isn't doing what it used to...maybe I just need a different kind of night out...I dunno anymore... I keep trying to picture her as I remember her. It's been 6 months since I've seen her, so her face, her voice, it's all in my memory now and I can't tell whether it's real or not. I know she's not thinking of me, doesn't care about me, has probably forgot I even exist. I meant nothing to her. Am I that worthless?? Why did I tossed aside so easily? Did I really mean nothing to her? I don't know what she's like anymore. But I miss her so much that I can't sleep at night for crying. I just wish she were by my side. Nothing's working. I can't seem to help myself and everyday I feel like I'm falling apart, and I hate myself more and more for everything, for all of it. ...Oh God, what do I do???????? I know how you feel man... I'm there with you right now feeling the same **** myself. The only thing I've found that helps me at all is to do things that make you feel good. Do you work out at all? If not, get a gym membership and start lifting weights everyday. Your brain will release endorphins and you will feel better. Even running is another good thing you can do, but not everyone really likes to run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 (edited) I know how you feel man... I'm there with you right now feeling the same **** myself. The only thing I've found that helps me at all is to do things that make you feel good. Do you work out at all? If not, get a gym membership and start lifting weights everyday. Your brain will release endorphins and you will feel better. Even running is another good thing you can do, but not everyone really likes to run. I do work out as often as I can, including going 2 or 3 hour hikes (which take it out of you, I guarantee) the problem is I keep thinking bout her whenever I work out or hike! In fact, I do my best thinking whenever I work out!! It's strange isn't it, I've heard such great advice on this site. Advice I will take, absolutely, on this thread too, great advice! But it always feels so personal, so absolute, that there's nothing I can do to avoid it. It's like some f*cked up kind of predestionation: I'm doomed to obsess about her for the rest of my days, however long my days last. I HATE it!! I wish she would leave my mind forever and leave me the hell alone. The worst thing is that if I ever seen her again, all of these thoughts and distorted memories and tears and broken down moments will invariably crush me when it comes to our confrontation. They'll weight me down and render me unable to have a conversation with the girl! And I SO want to be able to have another conversation with this girl like we used to when we were friends. She was just so cool...can I have that again?... Edited October 22, 2010 by TheUnthoughtKnown drunk: spelling nistakes Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Unknown, your drinking refelcts your desperation--you are self medicating to change your feelings and it's not working. I urge you to stop self medicating and instead try real medicine--it's much more specific in helping people change the cycles that so disturb them. I know where you are and have been there and went all the way to bottom. I don't know if I'd be alive today if I didn't follow the advice I just gave you. Hang in there dude and stop being your own prescriber--alcohol is not a good medication at all. And there ARE good ones that can help you recover. 'Luck buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
reknown29 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 here' the answer: she left you. its over. you have no choice but to move on. Its been two months for me and its still really bad and I think about her 24/7 but Im not going as low as I was in the first week... I did all the "wrong" things. Told her how much I cared, how much she hurt me, how much I miss her, etc. She ws not nice to me in the end. Suddenly I was emotionally abusive during our relationship, when all I got all day long were communications about how sweet and beautiful I am to her. She said she is never coming back to me. In the first month she texted me everyday, we had sex and then she started texting me at 1a to come over. yet each time she said we are never getting back together... I finally put an end to it a couple weeks ago. Now I am trying to get her to get the rest of her stuff out of my place. Turns out there was a new guy in her life and she has been coming to my place while seeing him. Even though this girl screams bad news, I still ruminate and cry over her not being here. The point of this is that we end to dramatize when things are over. We make it seem to be better then it was. If it was good, it is suddenly the most amazing experience ever, when shes gone. The only way to get past this is to get angry. You must be angry with her. She dumped you. She doesnt give a f...k anymore. She has no caring towards your emotions. Shes living her own life and never thinking of you. Dont waste anymore emotional energy on someone who doesnt care about you. You are much better off being alone. This is where I am getting at. "There are worse things than being alone" - H Miller. Forget about her. She doesnt exist anymore and she never will exist again as she did when she was with you. Its sad but true. Its a death of the girl you once knew. If you get back together down the road you will be with a different person. Breakups are becoming a part of life. Everybodys doing it these days. Your somewhat of an oddball if you keep a marriage together, at least in the city. Find a new one. Dont be shy. Walk up to ten girls a day. Out of a hundred you will click with one. There are 3.5 billion women in the world. Go get one. Now if I can only practice what I preach... Link to post Share on other sites
sacg Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 LOL, brilliant. So true too Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Reason: drunk: spelling nistakes Still drinking I see. You're not going to get laid that way. Hmmm... FeelinFrisky offers the perspective of experience..... I recall, many years ago, coming across a friend whose wife had cleaned him out (emptied the house while he as at work) and took his kids sitting in a chair in the pasture with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a gun. That was certainly a low point. It's also a good time to have friends and avail oneself of friendships for support. He later went on to marry a wonderful lady and they are still married some 20+ years later. In every ending, there is a beginning, for as long as you're alive. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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