SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 My ex and I broke up about a year ago. . .we went out for about a year. . .and now when I see him out with his new g/f, I just want to leave and cry myself asleep!! I love him, and he hates me. . .I dont know what to do. . and to tell you the turth I have no idea why we really broke up. . .we had little fights here and here. . but who doesnt.. . .I'm 23 and feel like I lost my soulmate. . .what should I do??? Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 You soulmate wouldn't have moved on. Don't go out of your way to see these two together. Take it from a guy who's been where you are more than just a few times: The depression doesn't last and you ALWAYS find a better love once you're over the old one. Take some time to be kind to yourself, to be away from men, and smell the roses. This can be a joyous time for you if you let it. You have just eliminated one guy from the list of possible Mr. Rights. Now, you've only got 1,329,836,420 to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted March 3, 2004 Author Share Posted March 3, 2004 Originally posted by Tony You soulmate wouldn't have moved on. Don't go out of your way to see these two together. Take it from a guy who's been where you are more than just a few times: The depression doesn't last and you ALWAYS find a better love once you're over the old one. Take some time to be kind to yourself, to be away from men, and smell the roses. This can be a joyous time for you if you let it. You have just eliminated one guy from the list of possible Mr. Rights. Now, you've only got 1,329,836,420 to go. Thanks Tony, I dont go out of my way to see them together. . .we go to the same places, and we even have some of the same friends. . . so I just tend to run into them more then I like to. . .its been a year already, and I still cant shake it. . .I found the perfect guy and I ****ed up some how. . . Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 A year is an unusually long time to be pounding your head against a wall about this. I have to think there are some other issues in your life, perhaps from your childhood, that make letting go very difficult for you. Given the time that has passed and your continued strong feelings in this situation, I would suggest you see a counsellor to see just what's ticking here. Not to say you should be completely over him but your feelings should have dulled somewhat and you shouldn't be obsessing so much at this point. Every person has their own speed at which they are able to move on from romance. There's a good reason you move more slowly than most. I hope you discover that reason in order to heal from this and move on. You may be missing a lot of golden opportunities to meet very nice guys because of being stuck. You also need to stop idolizing this guy as the "perfect" guy for you. He obviously wasn't and you have my unconditional guarantee that the right one is out there for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted March 3, 2004 Author Share Posted March 3, 2004 Thanks again Tony. . I atempted to move on. . . I never had a problem. . I think that I just hate being single. . .kinda liked the whole being free thing. But now it seems like everyone has a "special someone" and how much fun is it being single, when everyone is taken?! Maybe I set my standards too high, because I know the reason I don't have a boyfriend isn't because there is a lack of interested guys, because, not to sound conceited, I have my more than my fair share of guys to choose from. It's just that I always find the littlest things that are wrong, things I can't deal with...and then I can't really get past that. I think it's the process of getting to know the guy...the more I get to know them it's usually the more I don't like him...in some cases. In other cases, when I actually start to like them, they end up not liking me or just being downright jerks, players, cokeheads...etd....I don't really know how to lower my standards, because I know if I do I won't be happy. I just wish I could find a guy...and soon. I'm so lonely I guess it comes down too.... Life is kinda a motion right now...nothing too new, nothing too exciting. I'm just living the life the way it needs to be lived. I just need a little help to get me up in the morning...something to look forward to. . .I have nothing right now...it sucks.... I guess I'll just wait for my Prince charming to come along. . . Maybe I'll be single until I'm 40. who knows. . .but I hate this. .. I wish I was married and Living Happily Ever after!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 You say you are very picky about things. Love is the simple act of overlooking small things and giving extra credit for the more positive things. You have to learn to love a person despite their shortcomings rather than love them for what you like. It's a total package and love is meant to even things out. It sounds like you are way too analytical. If you are going to remain stuck on the fact that there's no other man like your ex and all the other good ones are taken, perhaps you should volunteer at NASA for the next Mars mission. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted March 3, 2004 Author Share Posted March 3, 2004 Originally posted by Tony You say you are very picky about things. Love is the simple act of overlooking small things and giving extra credit for the more positive things. You have to learn to love a person despite their shortcomings rather than love them for what you like. It's a total package and love is meant to even things out. It sounds like you are way too analytical. If you are going to remain stuck on the fact that there's no other man like your ex and all the other good ones are taken, perhaps you should volunteer at NASA for the next Mars mission. BLAH BLAH BLAH. . .thanks Tony you really opened my eyes up to alot. . I just think I needed to hear it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 There are other good guys out there. Not many, but a few. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Your boyfriend moved on and it's been a year since you broke up, so I think it's time for you to move on. If you want to cry, fine, just as long as he doesn't see it. Go out and meet new people. Come on girl --- It's been a year. It's time to suck it up and accept the breakup. Once you do that, you'll find peace within yourself and feel a hell of a lot better about things. Get out there and reel one in! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted March 4, 2004 Author Share Posted March 4, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 Your boyfriend moved on and it's been a year since you broke up, so I think it's time for you to move on. If you want to cry, fine, just as long as he doesn't see it. Go out and meet new people. Come on girl --- It's been a year. It's time to suck it up and accept the breakup. Once you do that, you'll find peace within yourself and feel a hell of a lot better about things. Get out there and reel one in! ~V Easier said then done ~ Thanks guys. . .you all really helped!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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