Beware the unbalanced BW...

[jwi71]

When are "BS's" going to take their share of the responsibility....it's all about "owning" what is yours right?...so far what I see is a bunch of blame shifting.

 

Why does this concept only work for the OM/OW and WS?

 

Oh I agree 100%.

 

The BS should also examine themselves and seek to understand how they contributed.

 

The problem is the WS goes to GREAT lengths to PREVENT the BS from knowing the A is ongoing. Witness virtually every post here PiH.

 

The BS cannot fix what they do not believe to be broken.

[pureinheart]

Funnily enough I have seen several BS on this site take responsibility for their part in problems in the marriage leading up to the affair.

 

I see some that don't, and that is whom I'm addressing...alright...got you guys going! Now we can have a good debate rather than sarcastic remarks...wonderful!

[anne1707]

I see some that don't, and that is whom I'm addressing...alright...got you guys going! Now we can have a good debate rather than sarcastic remarks...wonderful!

 

An OP is made condemning BS as mad and you want good debate instead of sarcastic remarks? Interesting

[GorillaTheater]

An OP is made condemning BS as mad and you want good debate instead of sarcastic remarks? Interesting

 

Just for the record, I'm neither a BS or a WS. I'm just a guy who makes sarcastic remarks. Particularly on Friday afternoons.

[pureinheart]

Oh I agree 100%.

 

The BS should also examine themselves and seek to understand how they contributed.

 

The problem is the WS goes to GREAT lengths to PREVENT the BS from knowing the A is ongoing. Witness virtually every post here PiH.

 

The BS cannot fix what they do not believe to be broken.

 

How many posts have I seen in which the MP TRIED to talk to the other MP...and they weren't heard...I'm one of them. In fact Spark started a thread concerning this matter as to why not separate.

 

I don't buy it JW, especially in LTEMA, I find it VERY hard to believe that the BS doesn't know something is going on....

[anne1707]

Just for the record, I'm neither a BS or a WS. I'm just a guy who makes sarcastic remarks. Particularly on Friday afternoons.

 

You do it very well (no sarcasm there)

[pureinheart]

An OP is made condemning BS as mad and you want good debate instead of sarcastic remarks? Interesting

 

Anne, I don't think there was much sarcasm in the OP if any at all. Yes good debate, is that too difficult in this forum?

[anne1707]

Anne, I don't think there was much sarcasm in the OP if any at all. Yes good debate, is that too difficult in this forum?

 

I know there was no sarcasm in the OP. That to me was just a plain simple dig. The sarcastic posts have been in response to it and understandably so.

[pureinheart]

I know there was no sarcasm in the OP. That to me was just a plain simple dig. The sarcastic posts have been in response to it and understandably so.

 

What if the story were turned around...I believe we would see how horrible the OM/OW or WS is and there would be serious responses. This is what has bothered me about this matter. In some cases the BS uses the A to their advantage, not looking at what damage they caused, it gives good excuse to blame all other parties and say "oh poor me"...not all, but some do...it is those I am addressing. I see this a lot in these forums...and RL.

 

I see some BS as "mad" and major manipulators...it is like whatever they do, however they behave is ok because their S had an A...not cool in my book, no better.

[jthorne]

I know there was no sarcasm in the OP. That to me was just a plain simple dig. The sarcastic posts have been in response to it and understandably so.

You mean people are taking this thread seriously?

 

Oh, my bad.

[anne1707]

In some cases the BS uses the A to their advantage, not looking at what damage they caused, it gives good excuse to blame all other parties and say "oh poor me"...not all, but some do...it is those I am addressing. I see this a lot in these forums...and RL.

 

You surprise me Pure. I expected better of you than this

[MorningCoffee]

Or there's ESPN analyst Steve Phillips' ex mistress Brooke Hundley who went so far as to make a fake Facebook persona and started grilling the teenage son about the family and the parents' relationship.

 

Hadn't heard about that, but no doubt, "love" made her do it.

[jthorne]

Hadn't heard about that, but no doubt, "love" made her do it.

For who?

 

Ok,I'll stop now.

[SidLyon]

A little news snippet to serve as a warning to OWs: ask your MM for a mental health certificate for his BW....

 

From The Guardian:

 

So the OW gives free pussy to the MM. The MM takes pussy under false pretenses from his BW. The BW then steals pussy from the OW.

 

Sounds like a case of "what goes around comes around" in action to me.

 

Seriously in my city there's a case in court this week of a woman who set fire to her husband's penis because he was having an A. He died from his injuries a few days later.

[pureinheart]

You surprise me Pure. I expected better of you than this

 

Actually most of these replies don't surprise me...it's the kind of stuff I'm talking about.

 

Anne, this is the stand I've always taken, it has increased slightly as I see more activity from the gloom and doom crowd. Hey, I'm burned out on the oh poor me attitude...but you guys have a good one:)

[woinlove]

Pure, what get's you about this story and makes you want to take it seriously?

 

That the W stole the OW's cat? That the W might be "unbalanced"? The fact that the MM has been stringing both the OW and his W along for AN ENTIRE DECADE, lying to them both?

[bentnotbroken]

When are "BS's" going to take their share of the responsibility....it's all about "owning" what is yours right?...so far what I see is a bunch of blame shifting.

 

Why does this concept only work for the OM/OW and WS?

 

 

Who id blame shifting? What are they blame shifting about?

[pureinheart]

So the OW gives free pussy to the MM. The MM takes pussy under false pretenses from his BW. The BW then steals pussy from the OW.

 

Sounds like a case of "what goes around comes around" in action to me.

 

Seriously in my city there's a case in court this week of a woman who set fire to her husband's penis because he was having an A. He died from his injuries a few days later.

 

This is the rational that many BS's take, like they have a right to retaliate.

 

I have had MANY things happen to me...oh retaliation would have been sweet most definitely, and I could have made it happen, but didn't.

 

Then what I see in some cases is retaliation, not as drastic as what you describe SL, but the payback is a bit.h no matter what. Using the A as a tool to hold over the WS's head in one form or another...although not much is said about what went on prior to the A as nothing else matters or is looked at from that point on...it's just wrong IMO.

 

None of this is meant for you personally SL.

[bentnotbroken]

Just for the record, I'm neither a BS or a WS. I'm just a guy who makes sarcastic remarks. Particularly on Friday afternoons.

 

 

You do your job so well.

[bentnotbroken]

How many posts have I seen in which the MP TRIED to talk to the other MP...and they weren't heard...I'm one of them. In fact Spark started a thread concerning this matter as to why not separate.

 

I don't buy it JW, especially in LTEMA, I find it VERY hard to believe that the BS doesn't know something is going on....

 

And just because you didn't purchase that particular truth doesn't make it any less the truth.

[pureinheart]

Who id blame shifting? What are they blame shifting about?

 

Every situation is different. Once the A is discovered or brought out into the open, doesn't matter how it got there, it is always the OW and WS fault.

 

Do you take any responsibility for your break up/D?

[flying]

Well, I guess I got the ball rolling with the sarcastic replies, but honestly, I didn't think OWoman meant the thread all that seriously, considering that she suggested in a rather tongue-in-cheek way that OW get a certificate for the BS' mental health. It just struck me as funny, and I immediately thought of the irony that official documentation might be simultaneously required and ignored. I didn't mean it seriously. My apologies to OWoman if she did; I guess I assumed she didn't, either, and maybe I shouldn't have.

 

Pure, I do take issue, on a more serious note, with the idea that a BS "must" know about a LTA. Many don't. I didn't. I honestly didn't. It happens.

[bentnotbroken]

Every situation is different. Once the A is discovered or brought out into the open, doesn't matter how it got there, it is always the OW and WS fault.

 

Do you take any responsibility for your break up/D?

 

 

I have said in more than one post on this board for the years that I have been here. I own 100% responsibility for my part in the troubles that plagued our marriage. I will not now or ever own any part of the affair between Mr. Messy and his OW. They were the big cowards who decided to lie and deceive two families for their own selfish reasons.

 

When I went to him with concerns he said I was the only one with a problem. When I tried counseling he refused to pay for the therapist. So yes, Pure, what is your responsibility in the issues of life you have?

[bentnotbroken]

Well, I guess I got the ball rolling with the sarcastic replies, but honestly, I didn't think OWoman meant the thread all that seriously, considering that she suggested in a rather tongue-in-cheek way that OW get a certificate for the BS' mental health. It just struck me as funny, and I immediately thought of the irony that official documentation might be simultaneously required and ignored. I didn't mean it seriously. My apologies to OWoman if she did; I guess I assumed she didn't, either, and maybe I shouldn't have.

 

Pure, I do take issue, on a more serious note, with the idea that a BS "must" know about a LTA. Many don't. I didn't. I honestly didn't. It happens.

 

 

I thought it was a funny post too.

[pureinheart]

Pure, what get's you about this story and makes you want to take it seriously?

 

That the W stole the OW's cat? That the W might be "unbalanced"? The fact that the MM has been stringing both the OW and his W along for AN ENTIRE DECADE, lying to them both?

 

It's less about the actual article and more about the arrogance I see with some BS's (and others). That's all, a good opportunity to vent...and I've done that:)