About self-discipline...

[Perhaps]

Hello LS,

 

I could really use some tips on self-improvement so I thought.. who better to ask! Over the past few months, dealing with a breakup has given me the chance to reflect and strive to become a stronger, more awesome me. In my quest for greatness, I have struggled with one thing which is pretty much the foundation for success in any endeavor I undertake: self-discipline.

 

I know it is Very broad but I've tried everything... buying organizers, googling about it, reading about it.. everything. I'm very good at "planning" what I want to get accomplished but I fail horribly at the execution phase... which is really, the essence of it. I lack the motivation to push myself forward - I usually get these short bursts of motivation but I peak out at 85% of my ability and then I fizzle. This is ruining my ability to stick to exercise regularly, keep up with school (in fact, I should be studying for 4 mid-terms right now), and just try to improve little things here and there about me life.

 

I'd love to hear your strategies - I think it'll allow everyone to gain from different ways people's advice and suggestions.

 

I think I should start meditation - that's one way I can keep myself together and bring in some positive energy. But it's hard to sit still, my mind jumps from one thought to another. Rawr.

[xpaperxcutx]

When I was in therapy I had to undego cognitive behaviorial therapy. The one thing I learned in overcoming a problem is to become more aware of myself and my actions.

 

I can't deny is that we can be very emotional people. And emotions themselves can drive us to do incomprehensible things like drinking alot or doing things that hurt people.

 

I think self-descipline comes with self- awareness. If we're more aware of ourselves, our habits, our moods, we can avoid doing things that are self-destructive.

[Perhaps]

When I was in therapy I had to undego cognitive behaviorial therapy. The one thing I learned in overcoming a problem is to become more aware of myself and my actions.

 

I can't deny is that we can be very emotional people. And emotions themselves can drive us to do incomprehensible things like drinking alot or doing things that hurt people.

 

I think self-descipline comes with self- awareness. If we're more aware of ourselves, our habits, our moods, we can avoid doing things that are self-destructive.

 

 

Agreed.

 

The thing is, I'm aware of my habits - I know I do this every year... I don't touch my books until exam time. I know I'll stick to the gym for maybe a month and then I'll stop... but everytime I tell myself, "It'll be different this time," but it's not. Repeat that enough times and I feel like I'm stuck with me and the person I want to be isn't who I am at this moment.

[xpaperxcutx]

Agreed.

 

The thing is, I'm aware of my habits - I know I do this every year... I don't touch my books until exam time. I know I'll stick to the gym for maybe a month and then I'll stop... but everytime I tell myself, "It'll be different this time," but it's not. Repeat that enough times and I feel like I'm stuck with me and the person I want to be isn't who I am at this moment.

I can't help but say I'm the same. Sometimes I find myself procrastinating when it came to sticking to a gym routine. The only way I found effective to combat this problem was to make a to-do list. I list all the things I want to get done each day in a booklet and check each one off once they're complete. I also make sure to appoint ever little with a time stamp of when I should get started so I don't put it off until a few hours later.

[Leigh 87]

The only way to change, is to DO it. It will feel forced at first, but being able to stick to ONE thing, such as going to the gym for several months consistently, will give you the confidence to believe you can do this with other aspects of your life.

 

It often takes sticking to ONE goal you set for yourself, and once this is reached, you then have a new BELIEF in yourself, and this gives you more momentum to contunie to set new challenges.

[denise_xo]

Can you ally yourself with someone? It's more difficult to skip going to the gym or don't do that study session if you've planned to do it with one or more people. That works for me, at least some of the time. But you have to choose someone who's actually going to pull you along to the gym, rather than agreeing to hit the pub instead Maybe you also need to find someone with a competitive spirit, if that spurs you on.

 

I've done a fair bit of meditation and agree it's difficult. If you want to try something similar but which gives you more aids in terms of keeping concentration, you could try yoga or tai chi. It's easier to blank out the mind when you have to coordinate body parts in different directions at the same time and also coordinate those with your breath.

[Div]

Checkout the audio series The Miracle of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy.

I have a few of his programs and his work is very motivating.

[Perhaps]

Hmm, some insightful advice. I think it is best to pursue one goal and build that belief - maybe asking too much of yourself by placing all these expectations is useless.

 

@ Denise: the only problem is.. all my friends are lazy people so that's not even an option for me right now.

 

@ Div: Thanks for the suggestion, I'm gonna see if they have it @ my local library branch.

[simpsonmoyo]

According to Bob Proctor, there are 11 Laws that can ultimately guide you to a life of great success and happiness. I am usually very sceptical about a lot of these motivational speakers and authors... but Bob seems to know what he is talking about it most of the time...

 

I thought id share this with you because this guy has some very interesting perspectives on attraction of success and happiness.

 

I hope this helps you as much as it is helping me.

 

Discover The 11 Forgotten Laws Not Revealed in "the Secret"!

[ReggieAlex]

I'm new here, but certainly not new to these situations. Having suffered through some of these very same issues, I find that there is a pattern to these continuous failure to execute, and a very effective cure as well. It's called A System, With Accountability.

 

Let me explain:

 

In order to change you, you will have to get on a system that is designed for you. It has to really hit the nail on the head, get to the core of your problem. At the same time, it cannot just be a book either. Reason?

 

You'll quite reading after a while, and put it away, because books lack accountability.

 

I remember going thro' a marriage related course with my wife. It was difficult, especially since it lasted 14 weeks!! Yikes!

But, because there were weekly meetings, to which we committed, we had to do it, even if we only got thro' our homework the night before.

 

I didn't want to be embarrassed. Bad enough I'd allowed my marriage to reach this

point. I couldn't appear NOT to be willing to do something about it. In the end, we

managed to complete the course, then went on to do more training as a teaching couple, then went on to teach at least 20 couples. Our marriage was saved too!

 

The discipline paid off, because of the accountability factor.

 

Draw some strength from that. What ever you do in the future, to help you change,

it will require time...to flesh out your own internal resistance to the change. A habit takes at least 21 days to get formed. You'll need at least that much time working on you.

 

Finally, make sure that you bring in an accountability partner/helper/friend/associate/teacher. Someone who will not take any cr*p from you, but will love you still. (Love there simply means having your best interest at heart). You can do it.

 

My best,

ReggieAlex