Nikki Sahagin Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Really this question could apply to parents in general as I am fully aware that fathers can be controlling but i'm asking this question specifically in relation to mothers. Why do some mothers become controlling, needy and completely dependent on their children? It's like generally, mothers have their baby/child, grow slightly apart from their husband (how many fathers feel pushed out?) and the child almost becomes a replacement. Then when the child grows apart from the mother, the mother holds a lot of resentment. I have so many friends with quite a deluded idea of motherhood who expect their children to bring them happiness and fulfilment and become their mini-me's, best friends when that is not really the reality. SOME children are close to their parents and some are not. I have quite a few friends with controlling mothers and I find it honestly quite weird and unsettling, not that I can understand that bond not having children myself but do you think this can happen when the mother prioritises the child ahead of her marriage/friendships etc and then the child becomes her world and to lose that bond terrifies her to the extent that she becomes controlling? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 .... but do you think this can happen when the mother prioritises the child ahead of her marriage/friendships etc and then the child becomes her world and to lose that bond terrifies her to the extent that she becomes controlling? i think it happens when said mothers alienate themselves from their other relationships. maybe the reason is because as time goes by the mother's other relationships change and are not the same, so the mother then puts on attention on that one relationship she has with her kids. Link to post Share on other sites
mohdhm Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Really this question could apply to parents in general as I am fully aware that fathers can be controlling but i'm asking this question specifically in relation to mothers. Why do some mothers become controlling, needy and completely dependent on their children? It's like generally, mothers have their baby/child, grow slightly apart from their husband (how many fathers feel pushed out?) and the child almost becomes a replacement. Then when the child grows apart from the mother, the mother holds a lot of resentment. I have so many friends with quite a deluded idea of motherhood who expect their children to bring them happiness and fulfilment and become their mini-me's, best friends when that is not really the reality. SOME children are close to their parents and some are not. I have quite a few friends with controlling mothers and I find it honestly quite weird and unsettling, not that I can understand that bond not having children myself but do you think this can happen when the mother prioritises the child ahead of her marriage/friendships etc and then the child becomes her world and to lose that bond terrifies her to the extent that she becomes controlling? tell me about it. my mother had a part time job (not any more), and no social life, the few friends she has she doesn't even like and complains about them all the time. The only difference between my case and the general case is that my mom controls EVERYONE'S life, even my relatives'. That is what i would define as a psyco. Mom's need to love their child enough to let them grow up into adults, they need to be secure and not smother anyone with their neediness Link to post Share on other sites
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