stilnlove Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 I have been married for 7 years. We have 2 children. my husband came home on day and said he was leaving. i later was told by him that he was cheating on me with someone he met in a class. now after he has been gone for 7 months he came home. we both decided on it. since he has been home he has been distant with me and sleeps on the sofa. the other girl was from another state and i think she is now in iraq. i'm just not sure he is over her and i don't know how to talk to him because i am afraid he will leave again. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousgeorge Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Sorry if he is sleeping on your couch and not talking to you is he really there? And when he came back and you both decided he come home. What was the deal? Was he coming back home as a husband and a father or does he just need a place to crash? You need to kick his arse out the door. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtinginVA Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Sometimes, the wayward spouse goes through a period of withdrawl. Have you checked out http://www.marriagebuilders.com? Lots of helpful info there. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 It doesn't sound like he's attempting to work at saving his marriage. If anything, it sounds like he is using your home as a place to stay. What will happen when the OW returns? He may or may not get back with her. Do you want to save this marriage because you love him, or only for the sake of your children? If it is only for the children, it's more stable for the kids if their parents have a relatively amicable divorce rather than an "sometimes dad's here, sometimes he's not" situation. Be honest with him. He can only stay if he is willing to go to marriage counseling and work at being a better husband and father, or he gets out of your house permanently. Link to post Share on other sites
kippy Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 It sounds to me that you need to be straight with him. You need to be clear with what you are upto here, and if this guy is wallowing in self pity on your sofa just because his sweetheart left him to go abroad, maybe it is time you just learn to live without him. Your fear of him leaving again, is not going to help the situation...you are empowering him, and God forbid he might take advantage of this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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