monkey00 Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 there's something I'm Lacking, i probably dont seem like BF material maybe?? I just know im missing something from my personality...or maybe it's just something im doing wrong when i interact with girls, but i dont know what...maybe yo ucan tell me? I'm attractive, confident, ambitious, smart, cocky & funny with the girls, dress well (semi-casual), well groomed..shave everday, socializer, I smile and am friendly to others, unpredictable somewhat, i respect myself and others, and im not egocentric, i am considerate of others....im starting to get the vibe that i intimidate others with my confidence & looks....they might think im already taken. hell I'd do the same for a girl if she was confident and was hot. I have at least 1 attractive girl in each of my classes, they do have some level of interest in me. i think it's just my physical features that's doing it. I tease them and small talk, not revealing too much. I have female friends, they have a pretty high level of interest in me too, i meet their hot friends and etc. I dont have that great of a social life, as i have several friends which i really hang out with. but i have much more acquantances. maybe it's my lack of social life that's my problem?? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Beig more social helps, but is not the end all, I talk to a lot of people and it hasnt helped me. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Caught up in the spirit of self-praise, you forgot modesty! Seriously though, don't try to change who you are for someone else. There are ways of making yourself seem available, don't they know you're on the market? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 focus on the girls. not yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 3, 2004 Author Share Posted March 3, 2004 i am focusing on the girls Jenny!! i basically wrote down my traits hoping you guys could pinpoint what i was lacking, but i guess it's not helping.... yes if i do have interest in a girl...i will show it by kino and smiling and asking questions pertaining to them, even a little flirting (done rarely) so dont say i dont focus!! i posess certain vibes, but i think im missing out on a few others. i see this guy in the gym and it just looks like he has "it" whatever it may be ....ppl look up to him also. he seems like he has everything together....he seems like he know what he wants. yea anyway vibes are the weirdest things...it's like a 5th sense. you can sense something about someone even if you've never met them. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Originally posted by monkey00 i am focusing on the girls Jenny!! i basically wrote down my traits hoping you guys could pinpoint what i was lacking, but i guess it's not helping.... I don't believe that, i used that same excuse a few months ago, but really you are looking for people to say there is nothing wrong with you and that girls should be all over you. But girls don't want to hear about you, that is what i learned and now i spend most of my time asking questions rather then talking about myself. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 lol; ok. can you give a rundown of your day and your exact interactions with women? it would be kind of fun to study the forensics of attraction. it's interesting, i know for a fact i come off as arrogant in some situations and bimbotic in others. it's interesting to isolate the moments that lead people to either conclusion. so, give it to me, baby. just run through the moments with women, including conversations, glances, etc. any detail will add information. we have insuffiecient evidence at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Maybe it's not your good traits that are scaring off the girls it could be your bad traits and we are the last ones to see our own bad traits. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Monkey, You seem like a cool guy, but I've made a few observations based on what I've seen in your messages. The thing is, you can be cocky, funny and confident around the guys...and perhaps even the ladies, too, when you're not making your move. But perhaps you not so confident, cocky or funny when you actually get down to business. Your most recent situation for example...you weren't cocky, funny or confident. You were wondering what the f_ck to make of this chick and not talking to her on the way home. The best way to do this is to change your entire approach to women. Don't go after one at a time. Go after several girls. Get phone numbers, call them up, invite them out and see what happens. It's a numbers game. If you get rejected, just keep going after it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 4, 2004 Author Share Posted March 4, 2004 You made a good point amerikajin, when it does come down to business, im not myself. i do agree it's a #'s game, but should i really do something like that?? tell you the truth, i dont think i'm ready to take a risk of doing the #'s game. btw amerikajin, i think my friend may be pissed or jealous cause remember that post about that shy girl?? well i think the shy girl told my friend, since they're such close friends. so yea we havent talked in 2 weeks. i tried calling her up for lunch 2 weeks ago but first time she gave me the "busy" excuse. im gonna call her up to hang out with some friends this weekend, if she gives me the busy crap then i guess she's pissed. carla: it's also possible i have bad traits, but iw oudlnt know, but im me, if i was in 3rd person perspective it would be easy to judge me. jenny: in bio lab, this girl indirectly flirts with me. we worked together with a group. when i woudl hold the flask to mix the chemicals, she would hold it w/me and touch my fingertips. she would stand next to me. she gave me eye contact & smile and i returned it for 3 secs. another time she did it again as we walked pass each other in class, i did a quickie 1 sec. class ended, she took the staircase, said "which door is the 1st floor?? i said , "well you can be my guest and cont going down the stairs." she smiled and i exited through the right door, showing her where the real exit was...end of day. i guess you could say it wasnt the moment to flirt verbally since it was all work that day. but next time i'll try to get more verbal and physical with her. in another class. i'm a graphic design major. so we're critiqing each other's works and grading each other. i say "you give me an A and i'll give you an A." agreed. i saw her's, cracked a little humor... cause it had cupid in her design aiming at a heart. i said, "hm...looks almost like murder." the design had a different meaning to it, but i just had to throw humor. humor is part of everyday life, no? forgot what she said, but she smiled, she always smiles when im around. both looked at mine, i said hm...."bad composition" which is true. (forgot what we were saying after that) then she said "you deserve an A. i go "no way." she, "even if i didnt know who you are, i'd still give you an A." i go "oh really?" I head back to my seat where i sit next to another dude she also knows. she came over to mainly talk to me...talkikng about the next project and stuff like so, then i go "are you indian or middle eastern?" (2nd time i asked that, cause the guy sitting next to me is also Indian, which she is also of course.) i go really?? indian? she was saying how ppl mistaken her for hispanic, i go "no way, they must be idiots?" "hm..im starting to see some chinese in you"...she was smiling and blushing. i was just teasing her there. then after a little more small talk she leaves the room for the rest of the period, but her stuff's still in the room...dunno where she went. normally she leaves the room for a long period of time. but yea im not rushing into things, ill let things take it's course as i increase my intimacy/convos with them. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Yes, Monkey. You need to play the numbers game. I'm not saying you should have multiple committed relationships, because that's dishonest. But I AM saying you should practice dating, and the way you do that is to fill up your free time with different girls. Don't tell one about the others either. Start lining up coffee dates, then line up real dates, and so on. The thing is, you'll probably goof a little here and there, but if you go into one date knowing that you've already got two others lined up or on the horizon, you won't be so nervous going into the date. She'll be just another girl to spend your afternoon or evening with. I realize that right now that's probably a bit out of character for you, but you should start building that kind of character. Again, don't set out to be some two-timing playboy...just build your experience with each date. You'll get more confident and you'll have a better idea of what you want out of a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Tkay Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 I think you have a little too much confidence Some girls just don't like people who are like IM DA MAN You probably aren't like that, I know. But anyway, I also believe some girls don't like someone who's perfect (maybe because it reminds them of their own bad parts? :-) ) Hell, I wouldn't want to date a girl who always know what to say, looks b-e-a-utiful, is funny, smart,and so on. I'm really wondering how you look, would you be so kind to upload a picture? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 yeah, your patter sounds pretty good - the 'little chinese in you' bit is adorable. go with the numbers, as suggested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 Thanks again amerikajin, i may not be used to this, but im gonna try my best to get into the #'s game. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 jenny "hm...looks almost like murder."No! No! No!!! Never talk about murder, death, crime, guns, hunting, killing, surgery, etc. with women. Don’t even joke about it. Women get bad vibes from that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 Originally posted by BlockHead No! No! No!!! Never talk about murder, death, crime, guns, hunting, killing, surgery, etc. with women. Don’t even joke about it. Women get bad vibes from that. lol blockhead, how do u know so well?? negative response when you mentioned something similar like that to a girL? btw she didnt get any bad vibe from it, as she knew i was joking Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Let’s just say I was very angry in a party. I said a few things to some women, and they freaked out. I didn’t care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 Originally posted by BlockHead Let’s just say I was very angry in a party. I said a few things to some women, and they freaked out. I didn’t care. HAHA, u must've been pretty drunk blockhead! Lay off the booze next time. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Nah… I don’t drink. It was 3AM, and I was pissed-off because of a lack of sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 o! i have to know - what did you say? ask them their favourite method of gruesome death? i kind of like that kind of thing, actually. give monkey00 a specific guide on what *not* to say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 7, 2004 Author Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by BlockHead Nah… I don’t drink. It was 3AM, and I was pissed-off because of a lack of sleep. Well blockhead, you could've just passed out at the party like what NORMAL partiers do!! Jenny, do u believe looks + confidence can be intimidating?? I believe i can be sometimes, and there are some who even think I already have a GF, or am a player. many girls will think they dont have a chance with me mainly because of that. of course a book is judged by it's cover most of the time. I'm starting to feel like one of those hot chicks where all the guys drool over. but think "she's outta my league, or I bet she's taken." ive heard hot girls complain about guys not approaching them cause of that. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 hmmm. it could be, actually. i think your lines are pretty great, and your patter is good, but i'm guessing if i met you at a club (and who knows, maybe i have?) i would actually be scared off by your smoothness. the thing is, most girls know about david d'angelo and his baby bit about 'cocky and funny.' many smart girls figure it out pretty quickly, anyway. many of us think that guys who have game are fun to fool around with, but not to take seriously. it's scary, y'know? i don't want to be taken for a ride; nobody does. i think you want a girlfriend, now - it seems like that, anyway? if this is the case, it's time for you to zero in on a 'ten' you really like and concentrate your efforts on her. that 'how to be a player' stuff is very useful when getting over a girl's initial reluctance, but it's not a magic bullet. women of quality will smell sincerity, and will like it. my guess is that you're really good-looking, smart, and fun. have the courage to be approachable. when the right girl comes along, you won't even need to use 'cocky and funny;' you won't even want to. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 p.s. an afterthought. this situation so much depends on your purpose. if you are looking for a following: a veritable gaggle of women, don't listen to above. booty-cubed is a legitimate desire - you're young, it's all new, and it's bloody fun. there is something between the lines that i am picking up that makes me think you want more, you want a girlfirend; but upon re-reading, i am finding the explicit text you provided does not support that conclusion. if you are looking for multiple girls to chase you for awhile, do 'cocky and funny', but do it better than david d'angelo. have more class and education than he does: bump up funny to witty; cocky to classy. it's equally unapproachable but much more powerful. the caliber of booty should improve with the caliber of play. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted March 7, 2004 Author Share Posted March 7, 2004 Thanks jenny for your afterthought response cocky & funny better tahn d'angelo? well tell you the truth cocky & funny requires practice to get better at it. I only started doing it at the beginning of this year. Usually i do this around girls, and when there are no girls around, that means no practice for me. i've heard of d'angelo the name before, but didnt know why he was popular. now i just found out from you. yea the truth is i am looking for a gf. i've gone on too long w/o one. yea anyway jenny regarding another topic, have you ever had a guy friend try to hook up with one of your girlfriends, and later u found out u got pissed at him or jealous? yea u figured right that's what i did and i think that's what happened. i didnt tell her about it and did it, her friend probably told her. but not like i hooked up with her, as she gave me the busy excuse. i tried calling her today she didnt pick up, normally she would. havent talked to her in 3 weeks. altho i dont think she should've made a big deal of it. Unless if my friend had feelings for me which is possible. what do you think jenny? Link to post Share on other sites
Jim24 Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Is the numbers game always safe? because i always feel like if more than one accepts, one of them is going to get angry. Link to post Share on other sites
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