is it bad for a girl to have all guy friends?

[lonelygirl23]

is it bad for a girl to have all guy friends? just curious

[Arabella]

Prospective suitors might be put off by it, especially if you're one of those girls who flirt with all of their male friends.

 

Otherwise, nothing wrong with it.

 

 

Arabella

[somedude81]

Yeah, it's a bit of a red flag.

 

Certain questions also come to mind.

 

One: How come she doesn't have any female friends?

Two: Why does she have a lot of guy friends?

Three: Does she flirt with her friends? Has she ever hooked up with one of them, will she ever?

[USMCHokie]

Not a big deal. However, once my trust in her is compromised, I'm done'ski. LAUNCH.

[Peace&Love]

I completely agree with somedude81 and somewhat with The Fourth Planet. When I was younger, I used to think my guy friends were better than my girl friends. But as I got older, I found my girl friends were better able to relate to my problems and they were more reliable. That's not to say my guy friends are all unreliable, but there are certain things I cannot turn to them for, like advice about how to handle mood swings during that time of the month.

 

I've also learned that girls who can't develop and maintain friendships with other girls are bad friends themselves. They tend to say things like, "Girls are backstabbers" and "I don't trust girls", but they're the ones who lie and cheat and talk badly about other girls. Also, I can't help but question the girl's self-esteem. She might only keep guy friends because she likes and craves attention from guys in order to validate herself.

[carhill]

Having strong same-sex friendships is, for myself, an indicator of emotional health and balance. Being able to relate to and bond with one's own gender speaks to personal balance; balance which carries over into romantic (presuming hetero) cross-gender relationships. It is no guarantee, as there are none in life, except death, but it is *one* indicator of social and personal health, IMO.

[Peace&Love]

I'm from the camp of believers that women and men can NOT be friends without one wanting the other. It rarely happens otherwise. Typically when it comes to these women with lots of guy friends, when asked the question "does so-and-so want to hook up with you", the answer is murky at best.

 

Guys won't hang out with them because they aren't attracted. The woman with guy friends doesn't get along with girls because they won't bend over backward to accomadate crappy friend behavior the way a horny guy would. The girl friend will tell her the way it is while the guy friend will kiss her ass and tell her what she wants to hear.

 

Those are the parts I disagree with. I have friends who share these same beliefs as you, but I think males and females can develop friendships without physical/sexual attraction. Yes, I will admit a few of my friendships with guys DID start with physical/sexual attraction, but the friendships I have with my two closest guys friends did not start off that way. They're also not afraid to be upfront with me and they do put up with me unconditionally without expecting any sexual favors.

[WTRanger]

Would you pursue/trust a guy with all female friends? Your personal answer to that is your answer to your original question.

[nikayla]

LonelyGirl23:

 

I agree with the other posters, in a sense that potential suitors will give you the side eye for having more male than female friends. Four out of my five close friends are male. Two are very gay and flamboyant, so none of my partners have ever given me flack for them. But the two others and handsome and well-off, and verbal assaults have ensued with several potential boyfriends.

 

I attended an engineering high school and I am currently majoring in an engineering field that does not attract many women. I definitely try to balance out the gender of my social circle, but to do successfully means joining a sorority. Truthfully, the men in my life tend to be more accommodating than the women. You can simply grab a bite to eat, chat, and that's that. I often feel dragged down by the drama of some of my female counterparts...But I do plan on rushing next quarter. Having a strong female bond is essential because there are some things I have trouble discussing with men, even my best friends.

 

I don't believe all girls are drama queens, just like I don't believe opposite genders can't be friends. If that's the case, what about bisexuals and transgendered people?! Can they be friends with anyone? Lol. At the end of the day, it is your life, and dictate it as you see fit. I strong think that if people aren't criticizing the lack of estrogen in your circle, they will soon find something else to complain about...

[carhill]

The topic was/is *all* of a particular lady's friend were/are male and is that 'bad'. I inferred the topic presumed heterosexuality. For myself, the key word is *all*, and I have and have had many platonic female friends in life.

 

I have rebuffed sexual advances from women I did find attractive because acting on such advances would have been unhealthy, for various reasons, them being married the most prevalent one. They were (some still are) 'friends'. I have also not acted on attractions where advances by myself would have accepted (or the appearances of such acceptance were provided).

 

Perhaps that is one lesson of having cross-gender friends. Balance. Balance with friends of the same gender; dynamics where no sexual undertones could possibly exist and every interaction is arm's length.

 

For a woman, with the male gender being the general 'pursuer' and 'aggressor' in relationships, it's much easier to attract a cadre of male 'friends' than to do the hard work of becoming a friend to other women and nurturing those friendships in health. This is the red flag of having *all* male friends; one of psychology. It's a path of least resistance. A man looking for a potential life partner will judge this aspect according to his own 'list' of desirable qualities he's looking for in his mate. Some judge more harshly than others. Such is the harsh reality of compatibility.

[D-Lish]

I think it's important to have a diverse social circle that includes male and female friendships.

 

When I hear a woman say she only gets along with men, it throws up red flags for me with regard to her personality.

[naleylove23]

uhh YES! lets say you get a bf. then what are you suppose to tell him 'ohh its okay baby i only have guy friends' or lets say you get a bf and he tells you "baby its okay i only have friends that are girls" ughh not good news. every time a girl says she gets along better with guys im pretty sure is an extremely dramatic girl who cant keep friends that are girls.

[Charlene87]

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

I prefer to have more male friends than female... It just means less drama!

You should be happy about having more male friends than female...

And if in the event that you do get into a relationship, your new boyfriend doesn't like the fact that you have all male friends. Then your relationship should end there... Why be with someone that won't trust you. And I think having guy friends are a lot better, they would know what to tell you when you're having problems. And from past experiences, male friends are a lot better especially when your guy isn't treating you right They have this instinct to protect you when you need to be protected.

[Charlene87]

D-Lish,

 

I understand where you're coming from, but shouldn't think that way about every female with mostly all male friends... I too have more male friends than female. Doesn't make me a drama queen! I just prefer to avoid situations like that. And like hanging out with guys because their conversations don't consist of gossiping about other females.

[that girl]

is it bad for a girl to have all guy friends? just curious

 

It really depends.

 

Sometimes it can be off putting to perspective dates, but it really depends on the guys you date and the types of friends you have. It is important that guy friends be willing to make a boyfriend of yours feel welcomed rather than threatened.

 

Sometimes a girl who has mostly guy friends has mostly friends who want impress her or sleep with her. That can throw things off for future relationships or give her a biased view of friendship.

[that girl]

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

I prefer to have more male friends than female... It just means less drama!

You should be happy about having more male friends than female...

And if in the event that you do get into a relationship, your new boyfriend doesn't like the fact that you have all male friends. Then your relationship should end there... Why be with someone that won't trust you. And I think having guy friends are a lot better, they would know what to tell you when you're having problems. And from past experiences, male friends are a lot better especially when your guy isn't treating you right They have this instinct to protect you when you need to be protected.

 

Stuff like this is why I distinguish between girls who have mostly guy friends by chance and girls who have mostly guy friends because they have issues with women.

 

A girl might have mostly guy friends because she has guy heavy interests like fantasy football or comic books. The people she meets doing what she enjoys are mostly guys. Maybe she has a lot of brothers or her closest friend from birth is a guy. This isn't a problem, just the way things are.

 

The other type of girl who has all or mostly guy friends is the type who says things like "Women are just too catty for me." This throws up a major red flag for me. It is one thing to just happen to have more guy friends, it is quite another to put down other women. Girls who bash on other women tend to have major issues, often they're competitive with other women or exploit their male friends because guys will put up with more crazy than girls do if the girl is attractive.

[Nemicron]

its not bad at all. But if your in a relationship it isn't fair if you allow your guy friend to speak to you in a sexual manner. And it isn't fair if you visit these friend without your guy knowing about it either.

 

Otherwise no. Its just how a person is. And if they get along with guys better then girls then great but no bad either way as long as you can keep it as friends. Some guys I've heard from my female friends kinda use that and try to make things out of nothing. Which honestly I dont really think is fair.

[tykira]

I don't think so. Well, in my situation I had a friend who gets along better with guys rather than girls to avoid drama. But when she was my friend, our friendship was always black and white. Whenever she feels like it, she'll return my calls or hang out with me whenever she wants too. Then we got older and she started avoiding me to hang out with her other girl friends and guy friends. She used me to get to concerts, go to places, buy things, and just plan lie to me all at the same time not doing and saying anything about it. She's a manipulator just like her mother, and I fell for her sweetheart act.

 

Piece of advice to all the girls who have best female friends, DON'T FULLY TRUST THEM. All girls are not good people, all they want to do is use you for what you got and then once you're used up, they'll leave. Same thing can be said for guys too, i don't know. But still, don't become "Best Friends" with someone, especially with a female. Those things are freakin' slick. Just stick to being just a regular friend. Don't allow yourself to be close to someone because there's a good chance you will be hurt. It's not worth it.

[tykira]

Oh, because of my bad friendship experience, I now prefer more guy friends to female friends.

[BlackLovely]

It really depends.

 

Sometimes it can be off putting to perspective dates, but it really depends on the guys you date and the types of friends you have. It is important that guy friends be willing to make a boyfriend of yours feel welcomed rather than threatened.

 

Sometimes a girl who has mostly guy friends has mostly friends who want impress her or sleep with her. That can throw things off for future relationships or give her a biased view of friendship.

 

This is a well written post. I'm all for trust between partners, but you have to admit that in a serious relationship, a certain amount of freedom goes out the window.

I was best pals with two of my exes; meals, long chats and platonic hugs with kisses on the cheek. When we all got into long lasting relationships, all of that closeness had to stop. No woman wants her boyfriend being so affectionate and friendly with his ex. Likewise, when I moved in with my husband before we married, I stopped going to male friend's homes.

I can understand how women can be too dramatic and jealous. I have encountered this A LOT in the workplace.

[DreamerGirl27]

Stuff like this is why I distinguish between girls who have mostly guy friends by chance and girls who have mostly guy friends because they have issues with women.

 

A girl might have mostly guy friends because she has guy heavy interests like fantasy football or comic books. The people she meets doing what she enjoys are mostly guys. Maybe she has a lot of brothers or her closest friend from birth is a guy. This isn't a problem, just the way things are.

 

The other type of girl who has all or mostly guy friends is the type who says things like "Women are just too catty for me." This throws up a major red flag for me. It is one thing to just happen to have more guy friends, it is quite another to put down other women. Girls who bash on other women tend to have major issues, often they're competitive with other women or exploit their male friends because guys will put up with more crazy than girls do if the girl is attractive.

 

 

I definitely agree with this. I have guy friends, but not ALL guy friends and whoever tells you it is easier to make friends with guys than it is girls is lying. I'm a cute, fit, attractive girl and get 10's giving me "the look" and flirting with me and stuff. I even get not so 10's giving me "looks".

 

I guy friends and plenty of them. But that's not ALL I have. When I am talking to a girl it's on a completely different level than a guy. Yes, guys do get protective, but why do you think that is? So far, the most protective guy of me is the guy I happen to totally be in love with at the moment. It's rare that I find a really cool guy friend that even I myself have never thought about being with in a romantic/sexual way. VERY rare. He would have to be a -50 on my scale of attractiveness AS WELL as I'd have to just flat out not like anything about his personality. It has happened. But with the majority of the men that have come across my path, I have a soft spot in my heart for most of them.

 

Anyway...that aside... and going back to my original point. I don't agree with having 0 male friends, or telling your SO that they can't talk to members of the opposite sex AT ALL. If my guy told me that, I'd send him packing. I can understand the jealousy, though. The guy I like has a ton of female friends and yeah, it kinda stings to see pictures of him at a party with them, even though I'm fairly certain nothing happened. (He tells me everything, so... even about girls he likes or doesn't like, so...)

 

but anyway, totally getting off topic again. My point here is...girl friends are AWESOME!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my girly friends and it is WAY WAY WAY easier to make friends with them! It's a completely different world when you are a girl and a lot of girls are even a little leery of letting men approach them. I hate to break it the world, but men, even small men, are naturally built/born/made to be the stronger sex. It can be extremely intimidating to a woman to be approached by a strange man and that's the only way to make friends. They have to be strangers first, duh! lol Other than the safety issue of it, women also like men, no matter how many of them "friend zone" how many dudes, we're human and we (the straight ones anyway) are drawn to the opposite sex and stuff like that brings up insecurities and nervousness and that can also be intimidating. When a female approaches you, you don't have to worry about "is my hair okay??? Do I look alright??" etc...you can just be yourself. I can relate way more to my girlfriends than I can my guy friends, because I AM A GIRL!! lol When girls who have tons of male friends say, "I just relate so much better than to them" it's like, "umm what?" Okay, so you drink beer, watch football and can belch the alphabet backwards, but do you pee standing up? LoL Men and women have different chromosomes and hormones in them that makes them completely different human beings.

 

Men and women ARE different. In a lot of ways. But they are the same in a lot of ways as well. All I know is I cherish both my male AND female friends and it is a whole different mind set/level/feel to it when I go out with my girlfriends than it is when I am out with my guy friends.

 

It is also like pulling teeth to try and get one (a guy friend) to talk to you. On a regular basis. I can message my girlfriends and they respond in an instant and TYPE and TALK a LOT!! Men are not generally talkers (unless they really like a girl), but they don't generally like to talk and women do (at least I do) and that comes across, because half the time when I message my male friends, they don't even respond. ALL my girlfriends do.

 

You get different stuff out of different people and different relationships in this world and they're all important. It's what makes the world go 'round. lol But to say, "I ONLY have guy friends, or I ONLY have girlfriends" is like saying, "I only eat hamburgers every day of my life and nothing else". Too much of one thing is not good, ever.

 

So, yes. You can have a lot of guy friends. Is having ALL guy friends a bad thing? Yes. What are you girlfriends then, chopped liver? lol they love you, too. Or at least they should. and if they don't...then they're not your true friend anyway. I would be lost without my girlies. As well as my guys. I love all my friends.

[Peace&Love]

I'm horrified and saddened by comments such as these:

 

Piece of advice to all the girls who have best female friends, DON'T FULLY TRUST THEM. All girls are not good people, all they want to do is use you for what you got and then once you're used up, they'll leave. Same thing can be said for guys too, i don't know. But still, don't become "Best Friends" with someone, especially with a female. Those things are freakin' slick. Just stick to being just a regular friend. Don't allow yourself to be close to someone because there's a good chance you will be hurt. It's not worth it.

 

I cannot believe a female can make such a horrendous generalization about other females. Case and point: You're someone who can't develop meaningful relationships with other females; the issue is YOU, not other people. You're not choosing the right friends and trusting the wrong people. Then in the end, you feel betrayed and go around making accusations like this.

 

I prefer to have more male friends than female... It just means less drama! You should be happy about having more male friends than female...

And from past experiences, male friends are a lot better especially when your guy isn't treating you right They have this instinct to protect you when you need to be protected.

 

I don't know how big your circle of friends are, but from MY experience guys can have just as much dramas as girls, sometimes even more. The worse part is when guys CREATE the drama. And these are straight guys I'm talking about.

 

You're also generalizing that only guys have a protective instinct. I'm sorry you haven't received the same treatment from your girlfriends, but girls also have that same instinct, too. When I've been mistreated by a guy, my girlfriends have always been the ones to point it out to me and then come to my rescue.

 

I stick by my first argument that female who can't keep female friends should take a look at themselves and how they're treating their friends.

[DreamerGirl27]

Yes, male friends mean less drama, because just like all men only want and think about sex, all women are all drama.

 

Umm...sexist much?

[Brandi 2]

Perhaps, the OP is someone who has all male friends.

 

Here's my take. I try to avoid her. I trust a woman who is able to keep numerous deep bonds with multiple women. Here's why: I'm from the camp of believers that women and men can NOT be friends without one wanting the other. It rarely happens otherwise. Typically when it comes to these women with lots of guy friends, when asked the question "does so-and-so want to hook up with you", the answer is murky at best.

 

I think these women like having people they can control with their sexuality. More homely women don't have this scenario. Guys won't hang out with them because they aren't attracted. The woman with guy friends doesn't get along with girls because they won't bend over backward to accomadate crappy friend behavior the way a horny guy would. The girl friend will tell her the way it is while the guy friend will kiss her ass and tell her what she wants to hear. The girl with the guy friends also gets constant validation from these guy friends of her attractiveness and sexual power. Pretty sweet deal actually!

 

I don't date them because they constantly need male attention. It could be from me, the guy who's hooking up with her or the nerdy, nice guy in her math class who buys her coffee everyday. Not best building material in my book.

 

I have had MANY platonic relationships with men, I do get your point though. I'm a "tomboy" and fit in as one of the guys most of the time. When in a relationship my significant other is just that, best friend, everything.

[Ilovehim]

I think it's important to have a diverse social circle that includes male and female friendships.

 

When I hear a woman say she only gets along with men, it throws up red flags for me with regard to her personality.

 

 

Completely agree! I'm not a guy but personally, I dislike girls who claim "I only get along with guys cuz females cause too much drama." What does that say about you?