Guys, do you respect women who have fbuddy relationships? Is that a "low-grade"chic?

[9Lives]

I think that women ARE trying to be like men and its making things worst. Men are using this mindset to their advantage and winning at the fking game.

 

 

What do you mean by fking game?? I though that no man thinks about any relationship as a fking game once they are older than 22.

 

Then when the meet a woman with class, it turns them on. It back to a challenge to them. I dont see that men want a ho as a girlfriend. he want a women he respects.

 

Yes, it might turn them on, but in about a week they will consider her as boring with no mystery and fantasy, and will want the hot sexy love goddess who enjoys to have sex, sees herself as a sexual woman, and loves being attracted to her man back.

 

 

first of all, I'm talking ATTRACTION here. You want me and I want you. meaning compatibility. not hold out and then get dull and boring. its don't have to be like that.

 

You also just proved my point by saying mystery..wondering..thinking..and all that.

 

MEN NEED MENTAL STIMULATIONS MORE THAN SEX at first. He needs her sexy self on his mind. he needs to see her in a certain light...not the bang that sweet ass light only.

 

I just think you play yourself as a woman. Nobody NEEDS sex. strongly want. NEED...no

[Untouchable_Fire]

Honestly I think both you and Mme Chaucer have been a bit extreme in this thread and have resorted to shaming the other. I tried to get the thread back on topic above, so perhaps we should maybe use that to get back on track, hmm?

 

Fair enough.

 

You made a really good point. An FWB is a girl you have deemed not GF material... If she is willing to just take what little scraps of affection your willing to throw her way... how do you feel about that?

 

Also... how do you feel sleeping with someone you don't really have feelings for? I've come close a few times... but it just isn't the same without that passion... the fire.

[2sunny]

So you think women can like a guy and just sleep with him for a long time and be fine?

 

yep... they can. if that's what they make their mind up to do - and they keep it at ONLY that - then it's possible. it has nothing to do with being "low grade anything" that is severe judging. to have an agreement with someone ahead of time by asking permission for EXACTLY what you do or do not expect should only be considered true honesty. everyone wants sex... some just ask for it more clearly than others. what's the harm if no one is hurt by being honest?

 

i am a gal and i am perfectly capable of compartmentalizing when i decide to.

 

but then again, i am a gal that also has many men in my life who are ONLY my friends.

 

bottom line is: if you can't compartmentalize and include what the expectations are = it will never work.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I think it's amazing how people are prepared to judge others in a world where we are all supposed to have free choice. No wonder there is hatred and war.

To those who are so strongly opposed to FWB, FB or casual sex, I'm curious about where you draw the line. I mean where, exactly, does a woman earn the title of 'hoe'?

Do you have to be a virgin when you get married?

Is it ok to have sex if you're definitely getting married, or even just hoping to marry that person?

Or is it ok provided you love the person and they love you (or at least say they do), regardless of whether you plan to marry?

Or is a 'I might fall in love with this person' relationship enough?

Or how about just dating with the possibility that it may lead to more?

Does it matter how many men a woman sleeps with? If she slept with 50 or 100 men during her life would that be ok provided she married them all? Or would it be acceptable provided she was in some kind of non-casual relationship with them, although she didn't marry them?

I just don't understand how people can judge others so harshly. None of us is perfect. When I meet a new man, I have no interest in how many women he's slept with, or whether he was in love with them or not. What he has chosen to do with his own body, or any consenting woman's, is up to him.

My only concern is whether he treated them with kindness and respect. I would expect him to afford me the same respect and acceptance, no matter what sexual or relationship choices I have made during my life.

 

Wars are not caused by judging... they are caused by people wanting access to power and resources.

 

Look... does it turn you on when a man cries watching the sunset or wears pretty dresses? Probably not. You want a man that acts like a man. If you were dating a guy who slept with 300 women before you... you would think "wow he is choosing me"... because that means he does well with women.

 

I want a woman who acts like a woman. What is wrong with that? If she sleeps with 200 guys it means she isn't picky... or that she has mental issues.

 

I'm not going to answer your questions... because they are actually statements.

 

Bottom line is this... You can't sit there and say I want a traditional type guy who pays for dates, is strong, opens doors... ect. Then turn around and say Oh... but he can't expect me to be traditional.

 

There are some really nasty double standards that men have to deal with every day... many are even catch-22's. Why not just be thankful you only have a small few to deal with.

[2sunny]

=Untouchable_Fire;3064231] An FWB is a girl you have deemed not GF material... If she is willing to just take what little scraps of affection your willing to throw her way... how do you feel about that?

 

huh? what if SHE doesn't want to be the GF? what if she doesn't want someone demanding to take up her time? needing to know where she is, who she's with and what she's doing?

 

who says she would even WANT to be considered the GF?

 

Also... how do you feel sleeping with someone you don't really have feelings for? I've come close a few times... but it just isn't the same without that passion... the fire.

 

how would you know that if you have never tried it? stop judging - it's sex... sex is sex with or without the emotions... it's instinctual. you're making the pleasure feeling way more complicated than it needs to be by putting all these guidelines around it.

 

it feels good - it's meant to be a good thing. why are so many people putting all the boundaries around what is supposed to be a good thing? if two people are up front and honest - what's the harm? there is NO bad in any of that.

[2sunny]

Wars are not caused by judging... they are caused by people wanting access to power and resources.

 

Look... does it turn you on when a man cries watching the sunset or wears pretty dresses? Probably not. You want a man that acts like a man. If you were dating a guy who slept with 300 women before you... you would think "wow he is choosing me"... because that means he does well with women.

 

I want a woman who acts like a woman. What is wrong with that? If she sleeps with 200 guys it means she isn't picky... or that she has mental issues.

 

I'm not going to answer your questions... because they are actually statements.

 

Bottom line is this... You can't sit there and say I want a traditional type guy who pays for dates, is strong, opens doors... ect. Then turn around and say Oh... but he can't expect me to be traditional.

 

There are some really nasty double standards that men have to deal with every day... many are even catch-22's. Why not just be thankful you only have a small few to deal with.

 

ahahahaha, and what IF a gal NEVER tells you how many men she has slept with. you will never know. and if she acts like a lady - and she never tells - you have NO idea if she's slept with 2 or 200.

 

even the women who sleep with MANY - have class and manners and you would never know if they don't tell.

[9Lives]

I think it's amazing how people are prepared to judge others in a world where we are all supposed to have free choice. No wonder there is hatred and war.

 

To those who are so strongly opposed to FWB, FB or casual sex, I'm curious about where you draw the line. I mean where, exactly, does a woman earn the title of 'hoe'?

 

Do you have to be a virgin when you get married?

Is it ok to have sex if you're definitely getting married, or even just hoping to marry that person?

Or is it ok provided you love the person and they love you (or at least say they do), regardless of whether you plan to marry?

Or is a 'I might fall in love with this person' relationship enough?

Or how about just dating with the possibility that it may lead to more?

 

Does it matter how many men a woman sleeps with? If she slept with 50 or 100 men during her life would that be ok provided she married them all? Or would it be acceptable provided she was in some kind of non-casual relationship with them, although she didn't marry them?

 

I just don't understand how people can judge others so harshly. None of us is perfect. When I meet a new man, I have no interest in how many women he's slept with, or whether he was in love with them or not. What he has chosen to do with his own body, or any consenting woman's, is up to him.

 

My only concern is whether he treated them with kindness and respect. I would expect him to afford me the same respect and acceptance, no matter what sexual or relationship choices I have made during my life.

 

ARE U SERIOUS????

 

this post right here is loaded with nonsense.

 

first of all, a mans or womans past does matter to a certain degree. I do not want to sleep with a man who has slept with OTHER MEN!!! that sht matters to me and happens. I do not want to sleep with a man that has a very long long history of FB or FWB relationships. Not a good sign.

 

and don't get it twisted...IT IS HOEING...ITS IS HOEING... even if I am doing it myself..i would be getting my hoe on!!!

[EasyHeart]

I just don't understand how people can judge others so harshly. None of us is perfect. When I meet a new man, I have no interest in how many women he's slept with, or whether he was in love with them or not. What he has chosen to do with his own body, or any consenting woman's, is up to him.

 

My only concern is whether he treated them with kindness and respect. I would expect him to afford me the same respect and acceptance, no matter what sexual or relationship choices I have made during my life.

So you DO judge him!!! You just want to be the sole determiner of what basis you judge him on. And that's fine. But you don't have the right to impose your beliefs on every other person in the world.

 

 

Judging is needed when it comes to relationships because the past matters. When you apply to work at a place they check your past and they use it to judge whether or not you should be hired so why should relationships be any different? Why is it that a person's actions and the patterns they have displayed throughout their life all of a sudden don't matter when it comes to commiting to a person and sharing your life with them?

I agree. I don't know where this ridiculous meme (that no one has the right to judge someone else) comes from. It seems to be a euphemism for "I can do anything I want and never be held accountable for my actions."

 

I judged every woman I ever considered dating: I judged whether she was pretty enough, I judged whether she was smart enough, I judged whether she was responsible enough, I judged whether she shared my values, I judged whether she was an appropriate age, and I judged her on dozens of other things. And I assume (and HOPE) that each and every one of them judged me.

[Woggle]

ahahahaha, and what IF a gal NEVER tells you how many men she has slept with. you will never know. and if she acts like a lady - and she never tells - you have NO idea if she's slept with 2 or 200.

 

even the women who sleep with MANY - have class and manners and you would never know if they don't tell.

 

Is the fact that many are decietful something to be proud of?

[TheBigQuestion]

Fair enough.

 

You made a really good point. An FWB is a girl you have deemed not GF material... If she is willing to just take what little scraps of affection your willing to throw her way... how do you feel about that?

 

Also... how do you feel sleeping with someone you don't really have feelings for? I've come close a few times... but it just isn't the same without that passion... the fire.

 

Like I said, because we already discussed the terms of the FWB relationship, I don't particularly think any less of her for being in that type of relationship with me. I'd only think less of her if, as some other people have mentioned in this thread, she was not straightforward as to her intentions or began harboring deeper feelings for me of which she didn't promptly inform me.

 

And the answer to your second question is an obvious one: Sex with girls I've had genuine feelings for is ALWAYS better, but having FWB/NSA sex is not exactly awful either. It's good, it's more than satisfactory, but it's not awesome.

[stillafool]

even the women who sleep with MANY - have class and manners and you would never know if they don't tell.

 

:lmao:This is soooooooooooo true. Most women would rather die than tell you their true number in that department.

[Untouchable_Fire]

huh? what if SHE doesn't want to be the GF? what if she doesn't want someone demanding to take up her time? needing to know where she is, who she's with and what she's doing?

who says she would even WANT to be considered the GF?

 

I was asking a guy that question. Did you miss that? I was paraphrasing his earlier statement.

 

how would you know that if you have never tried it? stop judging - it's sex... sex is sex with or without the emotions... it's instinctual. you're making the pleasure feeling way more complicated than it needs to be by putting all these guidelines around it.

it feels good - it's meant to be a good thing. why are so many people putting all the boundaries around what is supposed to be a good thing? if two people are up front and honest - what's the harm? there is NO bad in any of that.

 

Well... that's the difference right there. You think sex is just like partnered masturbation. Or... your using it as an ego crutch for low self esteem.

 

If a woman doesn't see sex as anything special... She will be very incompatible with me.

[stillafool]

Why does a woman have to have low self esteem if she wants sex with no commitment?

 

Another thing, how are men suppose to gain sexual experience if women are only to have sex for love? Who would they get experience from - each other?

[2sunny]

Is the fact that many are decietful something to be proud of?

 

men and women do this Wog... you know that.

 

for what it's worth... i never once even considered cheating on my hubby... not while dating and not during the 20 year marriage.

 

if i wanted sex now and didn't want a man to make demands - i would be honest with him... i want sex from you but not the commitment. that's the honest approach.

 

think of Lizzie - i bet most of her men think she's classy and tastefully put together. would she tell how many men she's slept with? probably not... sometimes you will never know...

[Woggle]

Wars are not caused by judging... they are caused by people wanting access to power and resources.

 

Look... does it turn you on when a man cries watching the sunset or wears pretty dresses? Probably not. You want a man that acts like a man. If you were dating a guy who slept with 300 women before you... you would think "wow he is choosing me"... because that means he does well with women.

 

I want a woman who acts like a woman. What is wrong with that? If she sleeps with 200 guys it means she isn't picky... or that she has mental issues.

 

I'm not going to answer your questions... because they are actually statements.

 

Bottom line is this... You can't sit there and say I want a traditional type guy who pays for dates, is strong, opens doors... ect. Then turn around and say Oh... but he can't expect me to be traditional.

 

There are some really nasty double standards that men have to deal with every day... many are even catch-22's. Why not just be thankful you only have a small few to deal with.

 

 

Very true. Women expect men to be attracted to the same things that they are attracted to in men which is just not the case. Things that are dealbreakers to women don't matter one bit to men and vice versa. Also there are plenty of double standards that work in women's favor so why complain about this one?

[2sunny]

I was asking a guy that question. Did you miss that? I was paraphrasing his earlier statement.

 

 

 

Well... that's the difference right there. You think sex is just like partnered masturbation. Or... your using it as an ego crutch for low self esteem.

If a woman doesn't see sex as anything special... She will be very incompatible with me.

 

if i were only having sex with a man - and not for love - i can guarantee you - it wouldn't be because i have low self esteem! ahahahahaha :lmao:

 

that is funny though! thanks for your judgmental 2 cents...

[Untouchable_Fire]

ahahahaha, and what IF a gal NEVER tells you how many men she has slept with. you will never know. and if she acts like a lady - and she never tells - you have NO idea if she's slept with 2 or 200.

even the women who sleep with MANY - have class and manners and you would never know if they don't tell.

 

Do you really think there is no difference? Your naive. Yes, many women lie and hide this stuff... but actions and attitudes often show the truth.

 

Are you seriously proud that some women lie about it?

 

Like I said, because we already discussed the terms of the FWB relationship, I don't particularly think any less of her for being in that type of relationship with me. I'd only think less of her if, as some other people have mentioned in this thread, she was not straightforward as to her intentions or began harboring deeper feelings for me of which she didn't promptly inform me.

And the answer to your second question is an obvious one: Sex with girls I've had genuine feelings for is ALWAYS better, but having FWB/NSA sex is not exactly awful either. It's good, it's more than satisfactory, but it's not awesome.

 

What tends to make her FWB material and not a GF type? Looks? Personality?

[Woggle]

men and women do this Wog... you know that.

 

for what it's worth... i never once even considered cheating on my hubby... not while dating and not during the 20 year marriage.

 

if i wanted sex now and didn't want a man to make demands - i would be honest with him... i want sex from you but not the commitment. that's the honest approach.

 

think of Lizzie - i bet most of her men think she's classy and tastefully put together. would she tell how many men she's slept with? probably not... sometimes you will never know...

 

Having the facade of class and actually having class are two different things. Some of the sleaziest and most conniving people I have met are perfectly groomed and look like a million bucks everyday. I don't judge a person by their looks.

 

Yes some men are liars but you don't see any men in here calling themselves empowere because of it and calling women sexist if they don't want a man like that in their lives. Women would actually do themselves some good if they applied these standards to men they get involved with.

[Woggle]

Do you really think there is no difference? Your naive. Yes, many women lie and hide this stuff... but actions and attitudes often show the truth.

 

 

I agree. A man in the know can tell when a woman has seen and done it all. They have this demeanor and hard look in their eyes that gives it away without them saying a word.

[2sunny]

Do you really think there is no difference? Your naive. Yes, many women lie and hide this stuff... but actions and attitudes often show the truth.

 

Are you seriously proud that some women lie about it?

 

 

 

What tends to make her FWB material and not a GF type? Looks? Personality?

 

me proud about that? come on - quit making so many assumptions. i am merely stating the obvious. i do have evidence of many things - but i never said that all the info i have is from my own experience.

 

pride? i don't have feelings about it one way or another. i know what works for ME - i don't presume to figure that the women who do lie about it are proud of it.

 

for me, i always do honesty. THAT works for me.

 

these broad brush strokes that you are making are killing me!

[LittleTiger]

Wars are not caused by judging... they are caused by people wanting access to power and resources.

 

Wars are also caused by people being intolerant of other's opinions - religious wars for instance.

 

Look... does it turn you on when a man cries watching the sunset or wears pretty dresses? Probably not. You want a man that acts like a man. If you were dating a guy who slept with 300 women before you... you would think "wow he is choosing me"... because that means he does well with women.

 

Actually, I love sensitive men who aren't afraid to cry and show their emotions (for whatever reason) and I don't think you can compare a man wearing pretty dresses to a woman having sex. All woman have sex, most men don't wear pretty dresses.

 

And, no, that's not what I'd think about a guy who'd slept with 300 women. I probably wouldn't date him because I wouldn't feel special and I don't believe he'd ever be faithful. He'd also have to prove to me first that he's treated every one of those women with kindness and respect, which is a tough call I think with numbers that high.

 

I want a woman who acts like a woman. What is wrong with that? If she sleeps with 200 guys it means she isn't picky... or that she has mental issues.

 

No, it doesn't, it means she enjoys sex and she does well with men, just like that man who's had 300 women.

 

I'm not going to answer your questions... because they are actually statements.

 

No, they're not statements, it was one question:

 

Where do you draw the line at calling a woman a hoe? I genuinely don't understand your definition and I'd be very interested to hear your answer.

 

Bottom line is this... You can't sit there and say I want a traditional type guy who pays for dates, is strong, opens doors... ect. Then turn around and say Oh... but he can't expect me to be traditional.

 

Have I, or anybody on this thread, said anything about wanting a traditional type of guy? If you are what is considered traditional then I certainly don't. I prefer my men to be a little more open minded. And what makes you think I'm not a traditional kind of woman? Just because I believe in 'live and let live', that doesn't mean I'm into FWB myself. I'm sensing a little chip on somebody's shoulder here.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Why does a woman have to have low self esteem if she wants sex with no commitment?

Another thing, how are men suppose to gain sexual experience if women are only to have sex for love? Who would they get experience from - each other?

 

I'm willing to give you a shot here to change the old opinion.

 

Why would you sleep with a guy you don't care for?

 

if i were only having sex with a man - and not for love - i can guarantee you - it wouldn't be because i have low self esteem! ahahahahaha :lmao:

that is funny though! thanks for your judgmental 2 cents...

 

Same question to you.

 

Why would you sleep with someone you don't have feeling for?

[Woggle]

You might say you love sensitive guys who cry but most women do not. In fact a trend I have noticed is that the more manly a man is the better he seems to do with women.

[2sunny]

Wars are also caused by people being intolerant of other's opinions - religious wars for instance.

 

 

 

Actually, I love sensitive men who aren't afraid to cry and show their emotions (for whatever reason) and I don't think you can compare a man wearing pretty dresses to a woman having sex. All woman have sex, most men don't wear pretty dresses.

 

And, no, that's not what I'd think about a guy who'd slept with 300 women. I probably wouldn't date him because I wouldn't feel special and I don't believe he'd ever be faithful. He'd also have to prove to me first that he's treated every one of those women with kindness and respect, which is a tough call I think with numbers that high.

 

 

 

No, it doesn't, it means she enjoys sex and she does well with men, just like that man who's had 300 women.

 

 

 

No, they're not statements, it was one question:

 

Where do you draw the line at calling a woman a hoe? I genuinely don't understand your definition and I'd be very interested to hear your answer.

 

 

 

Have I, or anybody on this thread, said anything about wanting a traditional type of guy? If you are what is considered traditional then I certainly don't. I prefer my men to be a little more open minded. And what makes you think I'm not a traditional kind of woman? Just because I believe in 'live and let live', that doesn't mean I'm into FWB myself. I'm sensing a little chip on somebody's shoulder here.

 

nice! i feel like i could have written this myself. thank you!

 

what someone prefers is none of MY business. what I prefer is my business! it is also my business for me to be honest with anyone around me.

 

why is everyone else's preferences so important to you that it causes harsh judgment and harm for a perspective that isn't in alignment with your own?

[greenwood]

Mystery..wondering..thinking..and all that was everything i have always missed in my LTR. By the way, the key word is relationship, whether it is fwb, or ltr. Both can get boring at some point, and both can get extremely hot and sensual.

 

It is not like, ltr is sacred, and fwb is the opposite.

 

It is kind of weird to me that people who appear to be very against fwb, have (obviously) never ever been in such a relationship themselves. Consequently, they are judging something they have never experienced, and thus define and imagine it according to their own ideas. Of course, everyone has the right to have an opinion, so I am honestly not trying to say that somebody's opinion is less valid... However, it does seem to me that most people who haven't been is such a relationship believe it is just dirty emotionless sex during which the participants do not even look at each other and don't even say a word to each other, just do the thing and leave (which is not really the case).