Anyone feel this way too?

[watever12]

There's really no specific "problem" to my family. As a matter of fact, I love my family and think they're perfect! My parents are controlling and demanding, yes (typical of a very conservative Asian family), but I love, appreciate, and have learned to accept and understand why they act the way they do. Especially since I'm a girl, they are even more strict with curfews and even though I am almost graduating from college now, I still must call them every night at 9pm. Sure, I have my resentments for the things that I lost out on due to their excessive control and concern over me, but I have learned bypass that. Now, I seem to have a different problem..

 

I don't know if I'm just getting more mature and all early 20's young adults go through this stage or what.. but I'm so afraid of seeing my parents age and my little brother grow up. Recently when I was eating dinner with my mom, I noticed that the skin on her hands has lots it's elasticity - wrinkles are beginning to form slightly on her hands and around the corner of her eyes and hyperpigmentation spots are beginning to show on her face. That night, I secretly cried to myself..

 

My little brother has recently left for college also. It was normal to cry the first week, but now, there's this empty, hollow feeling inside of me. I seem to have figured that things won't be the same anymore - we won't in the same household and being the way we were just last year (goofing off, playing pranks on each other while he's playing video games or while I'm watching my movies, etc.)

 

When I went in to see my advisor last week about graduating early, she said something that really hit me. She said that the reason why I'm more afraid and sad than excited about graduating is because I'm not ready for the next transition in life, and I think she's right. But what concerns me about this is that I found myself thinking more about dying before seeing any of my family age.. is this a normal phase for young adults my age?

[Lotus Flower]

Hi - I'm asian and a female too...however more towards my late 20's

 

I do sort of get how your feeling as I too recently noticed these changes in my mum and felt quite sad too....However I think your sadness is more aout the changes in your life that may well seperate you from your family from time to time...I think your parents are very lucky to have a daughter like you that actually feels this way. It is healthy and normal to feel the way you do but you need to try and find the positive rather than the negative..I mean, things like how proud your parents are about you graduating and the fact that your brother is going off to do the same. Are you planning to move back home after graduating? as if so then you have nothing to worry about as you can use these feelings and turn them into a positive by being the best daughter that they could wish for maybe even tell them how your feeling and ask them how they feel. You might be surprised t learn that they are actually fine and its feeling that you;re just feeling at your end...

 

When we are younger say in our teens we do not apprecaite such things but as you get older you realise that your parents are human beings too and you want them to be okay...I'm the same with mine these ast few years..I always want them to have nice things, nice experiences, help out around the house etc. One thing I must say is that the feeling your feeling will somewhat always be there but you will in time learn to change it from sad to an actually opportunity to do good things with your family.

 

I hope this helps...a little

xx