What a perfect place to come to...

[nobody u know]

I have had nobody to tell this too for a long time. What better than a group of people who are not onto the situation.

 

I have loved a former childhood friend for about a year and a half now. We have had a close relationship. We are 46/47 years old. She is a beautiful black woman, I am a white man. We seem to have loved each other so much. A few months ago, we spent 7000 minutes on the cell phone together, she lives about 75 miles away. We have had a few lunches, alone. Seen a few movies and had a few get togethers, with friends. I really love her. She has hurt me a few times, by suddenly stopping all contact, then picking right back up 4 or 5 days later. Now, she has dropped me for 2 weeks. A few days before this dropping of me, we met in town, she was on her way home, and she really kissed me and hugged me, and told me she loved me. I guess she thought about it, and changed her mind. Seems like a game of can-you-figure-it-out now.

 

Oddly, while this has been going on, another childhood friend has been getting much closer to me. I mean, very close. She is very touchy and feely and warm to me. We have spent an enormous amount of time together, I have studied with her a lot, she is back in college, trying to finish her degree. Lots of close time, in close contact. She is winning my heart, slowly, it seems. This weekend, she told me that I was the most wonderful man in the world. I told her that I love her, and love the ground that she walks on.

 

This is all so crazy, but that is what it is. I feel compelled to let the first lady, who has really hurt me, go, and quit trying to make it work. Seems to be what she wants.

 

I feel so close to my other friend these days. Other days, I just feel like a pig for loving both of them so much. I feel one slipping from me, and one coming closer. I am not a player, never have been. I don't know how this happened, I know that ultimately, I let it happen. I am responsible.

 

Thank you, for listening, and letting me rant. Every friend that I know, is too close to the situation to really trust. I'd appreciate any thoughts, good or bad, just say what you think. FWIW, the 2nd girl knew that the 1st girl and I were close, but she knows that we have kind of drifted apart. Best -

Edited October 26, 2010 by nobody u know

[Unfortunate Soul]

well i can only say that if you hurt in the long run u can only blame yourself and attempt to get over it. meanwhile try your best to keep either relationship going, im no expert but youll need someone when times get tough,

hope you have a good relationship i never seem to start.

[Cee]

It sounds like you are person who's available for love and two women saw that. The first woman had things holding her back and the second woman went for it. I think it's great that a woman has won you over. There is no way of knowing what will happen with her until you walk that road.

 

I appreciate you sharing your feelings and I hope you keep posting.

[nobody u know]

Cee,

What amazing and profoundly accurate and true advice you have offered. I never saw it from this perspective. Thank you so much. I finally realized today that there is nothing wrong with me, nothing more than anyone else, LOL, it is she who is holding back for her own reasons.

 

I went with the other lady to a movie tonight, just got back, that is why I am checking in so late. I read your post via email today.

 

I told the girl that her hair looked nice, she said that she did it for me. That was so thoughtful! I guess that little hints get dropped, and a man has to not stand there like a tree and not notice. Anyways, thank you again for what you saw and shared in my dilemma, which is not nearly as muddled as it was. -