The Biggest Money Mistakes Couples Make

[JamesM]

Here is an important article for those of you who are newlyweds or who are new together.

 

The biggest reasons that couples divorce include financial reasons.

 

Read it and learn.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/The-Biggest-Money-Mistakes-usnews-2209887690.html?x=0

 

Here are six common mistakes that couples make with their money

 

1. Not talking about finances.

 

2. Combining accounts too early.

 

3. Sharing credit cards, real estate, and other types of debt.

 

4. Getting surprised by the marriage penalty.

 

5. Ignoring the risk of a break-up.

 

6. Putting one person in charge of money.

 

Just an FYI, but this article contains important stuff.

[LiveWell]

I think one of the biggest mistake people make is combining any aspects of their finances, at all, unless they actually get married first; or if they insist that they don't need to get married first, for ideological reasons (i.e. the belief that marriage is just a meaningless piece of paper) not actually putting down whatever the financial arrangement is in writing, like a written contract.

 

If I happen to not be committed enough to someone to actually be married to them, why in god's name would I have a joint bank account with them? Much less buy a piece of real estate with them (unless of course that was arranged strictly as a business arrangement, which of course it almost never is where a romantic partnership is part of the deal).

 

Why would I ever open a joint credit card account or co-sign a loan with a person I'm not married to?

 

It's simply not necessary.

 

"If you loved me you would co sign this loan for me?"

 

Nonsense.

 

"If you loved me you would put me on your credit card?

 

Nonsense.

 

"If you loved me you would put your earnings into a joint bank account with me."

 

Further nonsense.

 

If two unmarried people are sharing living space, then the financial arrangement needs to be a fair one regardless of whether or not they are romantically involved or simply platonic roommates.

 

If an arrangement between two unmarried people is financially irrational or unfair, it does not magically become fair simply because the two people are romantically involved. It is an unfair financial relationship between two romantically involved people.

[Lauriebell82]

Haha, I just read this article on yahoo!

 

I think it's a complete mistake to buy property or a car or anything of that nature with someone you aren't at LEAST engaged to with a definitive wedding date set. I feel it's okay to open a joint bank account if you are engaged, I did that when my husband and I were engaged. It made it easier to pay for wedding related expenses also.

 

I think it is also a matter of personal preference, some couples do not like the idea of "what's mine is your's" and someone keeping tabs on their spending. As jthorne pointed out, if you are going to go the joint route, then you need to have similar spending styles, otherwise there will be constant fighting. Also if a joint bank account is in place, then some kind of agreement needs to be in place regarding what money is spent and how.

 

My husband and I have a joint bank account and 2 joint credit cards. Basically our agreement is that if we are going to make a big purchase ($200 or more) on something that is not "neccesity" or bill related, then we should just give each other a heads up. I bought a $200 ipod (my current one broke) the other day and just told my husband about it so he knew what I bought. He does the same thing for me as well. We do not censor each other's spending, the only case where one of us would show "concern" is if we have some big bills coming up and it is something very extravagant that could probably wait to be purchased (like a new tv). Neither of us plow through money, we are both quite thrifty, so we have no reason to censor each other's spending.

 

It's possible that my husband and I could start having problems and he could clear out our bank account, but I trust him and that's a risk I am willing to take.

 

Basically I think you have to set up some kind of how money and finances will be dealt with, less arguments will happen if the rules are clearly stated.

[darleydoodle]

But what do you do if you get married, and then your husband sometimes blows his share of the weekly bills, including rent, but spends all HIS money on gambling and beer and then blames me for it because of my "nagging" about bills???

[Lauriebell82]

But what do you do if you get married, and then your husband sometimes blows his share of the weekly bills, including rent, but spends all HIS money on gambling and beer and then blames me for it because of my "nagging" about bills???

 

I'd say the husband has issues and needs counseling...

[darleydoodle]

I should have been a bit clearer...he can go for weeks...even months paying his share of rent bills etc and keeping €50-€70 for his tobacco and a couple of hours in town on a wednesday putting on small bets and having a couple of pints, I dont mind that, but since July he has not come home for days and of course all the money is gone. I have not stuck to my promise that if he did it again he has to leave and allowed him to pay extra for a couple of weeks to make up the difference, but last week when he came home without paying our weekly electic bill (we are paying off a big one) and had blown €50 on beer and gambling I went mad at him when he refused to make up the difference the following week and so he did his usual of sulking, not talking to me etc. I tried several times to talk to him and make it up but although he was polite he remained cold towards me for the entire week and surprise surprise, when wednesday came and I asked him to make sure he kept the rent money (I pay for the food, deisel, coal and my own credit card debt) and that I would pay this weeks electic if he refused to...he started shouting at me and saying my bitching about money was causing him stress blah blah and I knew he was going off on a bender again and was helpless to stop it from happening. I really believe now that he deliberately kept the bad feeling going to justify to himself, the disappearing act. I havent seen or heard from him since and I know from past experience he will return without a penny at some point. Am I right in thinking its time to accept he isnt really committed to this marraige and ask him to leave? Also forgot to mention, he smokes hash but didnt have enough money last week to buy any. For our first anniversary he bought me flowers, gifts and we went out for a meal, last year I got a bag of sweets and this year...nothing, he spent €80 on weed the week before and got annoyed when I said he could have saved some of it for at least a card...so I got nothing. He really doesnt love me at all does he?

[carhill]

1. Both business owners. Talked about finance and money openly. Both had worked in financial services at some point in our lives.

 

2. Never had a joint account during our marriage, except at the end for legal reasons to buy my exW her house.

 

3. Never shared debt other than as proscribed by law and never owned real estate titled as joint tenants.

 

4. Married filing separately is what bit us, after we separated. Jointly was fine.

 

5. Hope for the best, plan for the rest. My lawyer worked out a plan B as a contingency.

 

6. We discussed and settled financial issues together. No one person was 'in charge'.

 

In the end, my exW got essentially what we both would have spent on lawyer's fees fighting it out in court. She got the better financial deal and I got my sanity back. I called it a fair and equitable settlement. There's more to life than money.

[allina]

If I happen to not be committed enough to someone to actually be married to them, why in god's name would I have a joint bank account with them? Much less buy a piece of real estate with them

 

My husband and I purchased our home together a year before we got married. We were engaged for a few months before closing, but we got pre-approved, looked at properties and put in an offer before engagement.

 

Here is why we did it that way; the timing to buy was right. We had zero other expenses, zero debt and the prices allowed us to afford an area we wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. Also, despite the lower prices and housing crash there still weren't countless homes available in the area we wanted, when we found homes we loved we jumped on them.

 

Of course we knew that we would be married in the near future, we discussed money and were transparent with what we brought to the table financially.

 

While I agree that combined finances with a gf or bf are usually a bad idea, I did want to mention that sometimes these are well thought out plans

[GorillaTheater]

My wife and I married when we were very young, and dumb as twin bags of dryer lint. Some of the best advice I could offer, based on our experience, is to avoid debt when possible, at least on purchases that don't appreciate in value (i.e., just about anything other than a house). Treat credit cards as if they're coral snakes.