Something an ex said which i think is inappropriate but like an opinion

[pinkroses2005]

I have a question what does it mean when an ex says something silly like having a baby with you even though its been yrs since youve been together that way he wants to explode in you he says wearing condom doesnt feel right he says.too stange here any input.... we`re both divorced.im reevaluating our friendship.it doesnt seem right to say something like that does it?am i crazy?

[yes]

he's your friend? or are you having unprotected sex with him?

 

-yes

[pinkroses2005]

no i have not had sex with him except when we were a couple many many yrs ago we just talk on the telephone thats it nothing more

[SoleMate]

It means he wants to have unprotected sex with you. I actually thought his words were pretty clear.

 

it doesnt seem right to say something like that does it?

"Right"? Well, it's a sexual come-on. As to whether that is right or acceptable to you...I don't know. I'd be excited if I wanted him...and grossed out/offended if I didn't.

 

am i crazy?

No. But you do seem confused over a clear communication. Do you want him sexually, or not? If you don't, then tell him straight out. If you do, then go get busy, you can have him in the sack within 90 seconds of walking through the door.

[pinkroses2005]

im confused if i really do want him sexually i hate to go down tha path again with him.....why he mention about a baby we both already have children but not with each other.

[midori]

I think you're asking about this guy's intentions. No one here can know what his intentions are, esp. given the minimal info we've been provided. Did he phone you up and start talking dirty to you, or was this a conversation the two of you slipped into together? Have you had more than one sexually laced conversation, or was this the first and only? Does he have a partner right now, or is he single? Etc. You can answer these for yourself.

 

As for whether or not it's "right," see SoleMate's answer above. If you wanted to have a sexual conversation with him, there was nothing wrong with having it. If he foisted it upon you then no it's not okay. In fact I find it hard to believe that you would see him as a friend if he did that.

 

Ulitmately you'll need to ask him what his intentions are. No matter how many extra details you provide, no one here can give you a meaningful answer. Only he can. So why not ask him what all this means?

[Helpme2004]

Well maybe he wants a child with you maybe its his way of keeping you in his life and of course sex you could try asking him to be more clear......

[Helpme2004]

on the other hand if you truelly want to have sex with him then id say go for it if your both unattached

[jenny]

i think it is a line to reengage your sexual interest; a particularly manipulative one, at that. if he really liked you, and wanted to return to you, he would have broached the subject in a non-sexual, rational, way. as in:

 

"i am ready to re-think our decision to have children/not have children. let's go for dinner and try to talk this through.maybe later we could visit a marriage conusellor"

 

what he said instead was that he wanted sex that felt very good for him, regardless of the risk to you.

 

you are being played if you think this suggests an emotional connection; it is the sort of mistake that might end with a new baby and a deadbeat dad.

[pinkroses2005]

well he did suggest going for lunch and walk but then again its prob a line also

[jenny]

i don't know, obviously. i'm just working off your post. you know / what he said was inappropriate - i'm just speculating as to *why* he said it.

 

i don't want you to get hurt, and i think you have different goals than this man. only you can judge for sure, but please be careful.

 

a guy who wants to have unprotected sex with you, before making a serious, formal, commitment to you, is not a good guy. and certainly not one worthy of your physical/emotional investment nor of fatherhood.

[pinkroses2005]

it sounds as if we does have different aspects ill be a friend but nothing else i jsut cant do it again he also has 6 children by four different woman i dont wanna be the 5th i never wanted children with him we were all so young then.maybe thats what bothers him that i never wanted children with him..i have 2 already by my ex hubby.i dont want anymore..

[Helpme2004]

Hey take him up on the offer of lunch anda walk then leave him hanging oh im sorry that want very polite of me but why not unless you wanna ride that pony....

[moimeme]

he also has 6 children by four different woman

 

Oh ye gods! It sounds as though he needs to leave a souvenir with each of his conquests. Now we're getting past inappropriate to bizarre. Clearly four other women fell for this line of his - for heaven's sakes don't be the fifth!!! He's got something peculiar going on between his ears (and elsewhere) and you do not need to be part of it.

 

RUN, girl! Even if he used a condom, could you trust him? Find another man who's not into leaving heirs wherever he goes.

[Iamhappy]

he also has 6 children by four different woman

 

This is a bit disturbing. No, let me correct myself. This is really disturbing. Can he not keep his zipper closed? Has he never heard of a condom? Were these children planned? How old is this guy?

 

This is starting to sound like a police investigation. As Hamlet would be wont to say, "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

 

As far as his intentions are concerned, I think he's made himself pretty clear. He wants to have sex with you. He wants to have a baby with you. I think this guy has too much time on his hands. He needs a hobby that doesn't involve impregnating half the female population.

 

Is he dying? Is he on some sort of mission to repopulate the earth? Is the world ending and if so, why has no one told me about it?

 

Biologically speaking, I suppose he's doing what Mother Nature intended for him to do - spread his seed with as many partners as possible to keep the genetic pool diverse.

 

Personally, I'd pass up this oh so enticing offer. How you managed to keep from getting squicked out when he told you these things, I don't know. I'm no prude, but if one of my friends ever said this to me, I'm pretty sure that I'd go past the stage of nausea straight into vomit.

 

Apologies for the rambling. I tend to go into stream of consciousness mode when lacking sleep.

[Helpme2004]

oh for petes sake jsut scrump the guy and get it over with rock his world thatll keep him quiet for about 20secs.......