Stick a fork in me, I'm done

[SlevinKalebra]

Quick recap if you haven’t read my posts. Just got divorced from Satan, was abusive to me and my son with cerebral palsy. She just moved back in with her 2nd husband an abusive alcoholic, where my daughter spends half her time. Her son admits to inappropriately touching my daughter, I even have a copy of the journal entry he made promising to stop. I’ve caught him being inappropriate towards her numerous times. (pushing her to crawl on him inappropriately, staring at her crotch when she was being changed. Etc..) Now that I am not there I cannot protect her. I tried the legal route to protect her and basically would cost me $7500+ to keep her out of that house for about 6 months. Then it goes back to where it was because without broken bones or medical documentation she’s being abused nothing is really done about it.

I am in premed for my RN and have difficulty focusing on my studies. I lost my job as a counselor for high risk teens because of all the stress, I could not handle being at a job where everyone is angry, violent and come from horrible histories. Then go home to more of the same. I now work two part time jobs making less than most high school drop outs, and am about $300 short of making my monthly bills, despite living with my parents. Other than my parents and kids I am alone. While at work I ripped the connective tissue in my bicep so I can’t even work out for another two months which was my only outlet. I feel like the bottom has dropped completely out of my life and I’m scrambling to find anything to hold onto.

[quankanne]

wow*– sounds like everything is hitting you at once ... but hang in there. The most important fight is behind you, and that's the divorce. Not sure what to share about the suspected abusive situation, but maybe consult with someone who deals with those situations and see what you can do to better monitor your child while she's in her mother's home (no over-night stays unless it's just mom alone) and how to prepare to catch someone in the act. That last part sounds ugly, but if this boy is as sexually unhinged as he sounds, sooner or later, he's going to act out, and you can be prepared as much as possible.

 

definitely keep her pediatrician in on the loop, maybe even ask the doctor to perform a kind of "baseline" exam while she's healthy, so you have a way to compare records *if* she does need to go in for more serious reasons. Is your daughter in daycare? Ask the providers to alert you to any change in behavior or signs of physical neglect/abuse. You may even look at child abuse websites to see what they recommend a parent to keep an eye out for.

 

don't let yourself stay in a funk – remember, shxt might happen, but it cannot last forever, simply because change is inevitable.

 

best of luck to you, and many hugs, Dad

[josie54]

Take whatever evidence you have (if you have the boy's journal entry, great. If you don't, get access to it again and get a copy of it or take a picture of it where the words are legible), and take it to a local sexual abuse support group or association devoted to protecting children from sexual abuse. If you don't have one locally, do a Web search and find a national group and call their 1-800 number.

 

They should know how to advise you to get quick and free advice/help. If that stuff is happening in the home, it should not cost you $7,500 to get it rectified. You should be able to represent yourself in a situation such as this.