friends, or relationship

[Togagirl]

My now ex and I were great friends for 4 yrs before even dating. I moved my life to move in with him, and we argued constantly. I started behaving really badly to him. So he came home last Sun and said se were better off as friends. Now we are hanging out again and having a great time. I want him to give me another chance, what can I do?

 

Let me also say that I'm still living with him for a while until I find a new place. He has been wonderful since he broke up with me. It is tearing me apart.

[UCFKevin]

Well, unfortunately, it seems like you two work better as just friends. Luckily, you guys were friends BEFORE anything further happened, so going back to just friends could be awkward, but at least you know it's definitely possible.

 

How long were you more than friends for?

 

It sounds like he's made up his mind, but talk to him just to be sure, ask him if he really does just want to stay friends, and whatever he decides, YOU MUST RESPECT IT, don't fight for anything more or push for anything more, otherwise you may lose him entirely.

[Togagirl]

We dated for 9 months and have been living together for 4..

I just think that since we finally broke through the wall we had between us, we could make it work if he gives me another chance.

We act more like a couple when we don't have the title.

[UCFKevin]

Then all you have to do is talk to him about it. You'll never know otherwise. Don't wait for him to make the move or just sit around hoping. Do something about it.

 

But last Sunday he made you guys just friends again and in THAT amount of time, you've discovered that you guys work really well together, potentially as a couple, and he's been so nice to you in a span of a few days? That's kind of a quick judgement, don't you think?

 

Give it more time before you talk to him about it, I say. It's too soon.

[Togagirl]

Ok maybe it is too soon to say something. I just know I was wrong because we weren't talking and after Sunday we talked a lot of issues through. Now the last few nights have been great.

[UCFKevin]

How so?

[Togagirl]

I'm not sure what you mean how so.

 

Things are great because we don't have the tension thats been there. We can just mess around and kid around without the other taking it the wrong way.

 

I know I was reading a lot of his actions the wrong way now, do to past relationships and taking it out on him. He explained to me what exactly was going on, and I feel really bad about my reactions.

[UCFKevin]

You mess around as in make out and stuff?

 

It could just be that you guys are MEANT to be just friends. You might want to just accept that, or at least try to.

[Togagirl]

Ok not taking any advise I did sit down and talk with him. I explained more of my feelings, and that I wanted to continue the relationship, but take it back a notch. I would still move out, and we could try again without the added pressure of living together.

Although he said he would think about it, he still thought it would work better as friends. I'm not going to push, but it's really hard. He was someone I saw spending my life with.

I also told him if we were to be friends, boundries needed to be set. I can't do the fwb thing not now, maybe never. We never had that before we started dating, why should we now?

Now lets talk advice on how to get through living under the same roof for the time being. I'm depressed by us even talking. I try not to be, but just am. I don't want to make him feel ackward in his own house, so I'm doing a decent job of keeping a smile on when we are talking, but my heart is just breaking.