what would someone else do?

[stronglysuspicious]

Love my GF deeply and I feel she does me too but am undecided if things I've observed in the relationship are valid suspicions or not.

The first year with my GF was a good one with no cause for any "funny" stuff nor was I really looking for any such things. That changed somewhat for me with visit from her daughter from a distant state. I was in the back seat with GF and her daughter driving around, subject was daughters husband. She praised her husband for being the best spouse to which my GF added, "you're lucky to have such a man". The daughter raised her voice and replied, "yeah, and he's mine!". She stated this with the tone of a threat and not of that of a wife happy to extol the praises of her husband. I was somewhat stunned by the daughters response. Why would a woman's daughter make such a statement in front of her mom's boyfriend? When I asked my GF about the comment later, she said "she's just insecure and untrusting of him after finding some suspicious e-mails". Later in the summer, the son-in-law visited our home for a weekend to escort his step-son out of state for a trip. The grandson stayed Friday and part of Saturday until his own dad took him home for a day (Fathers Day) just as I was coming home from work. My GF, myself and the son-in-law stayed home. I drank a few beers (not nearly enough to impair observational powers though) and the 3 of us chatted, watching t.v. Later with t.v up fairly loud the son-in-law got up to help my GF with a problem with a DVD player at the entertainment center. The weird thing was that they were touching sides together while talking for about 10 minutes. It gave me the impression of two people who were very comfortable with each others bodies together. This struck me as odd, since my GF is shyer around males and I had never seen her make such body contact with a male during our time together. It roused my suspicion up a bit. Later on while quietly watching t.v., the son-in-law asked me "when do you go to work tomorrow?". I answered "in the morning". "I mean what time?" he added. I told him "about 8 a.m." Then he stared off into space for about a minute without a further word. It gave me the creeps that his actions seemed so mysterious. The next day I left for work, leaving the 2 of them alone in the home for the day. I got paranoid that they could be spending the day in bed together. When I arrived home (just after the grandson had returned), I tried to go thru the kitchen entry door in the garage and found it locked. The weird thing was that in 1 year around my GF I had never seen her do that. She only locked the door later in the evening. I told her a few days later that some things I had seen and heard on Saturday and Sunday seemed suspicious to me but I stopped short of accusing her of anything. She started to cry and said "I can't believe you don't trust me - I've never cheated on you and would never cheat on you!". I chose to let things cool down and let the days pass.

Later in the summer other things also happened that seemed odd or uncharacteristic. The GF went out of state to visit her daughter and bought a new cell phone a few days prior. When she returned she demonstrated a new sex technique on me (she had never done this before). I decided to say nothing but wondered if her trip had something to do with this. She also was over-protective with her cell phone. She kept it with her everywhere in the home and put it on her nightstand at bedtime. One night I awoke at 3 a.m., she was in the living room and the phone was not on the nightstand. I did not hear any talking but wondered if she took it with her to keep me from looking at call info on it. The cell phone behavior stopped after a couple of months. A few weeks later I found a index card under the mattress with a man's name, 2 phone numbers and the date 08 on it. I confronted my GF about this and she said she had forgotten it from an earlier year when she was dating guys from a dating site. She said it was hidden under the bed to hide it from her "nosy kids who have snooped in my stuff before" and she didn't want anyone to know who she was dating. I found the explanation fishy and wondered too why in the hell would someone put a year on a note with this type of info. A week or so later, before I moved in for good, I decided to show up unannounced on a night when I normally never visited. I came in the house surprising her then she returned to bed. I went out to my car in the garage, messed around with stuff I had been meaning to go thru inside the car for 10 minutes when suddenly the garage door opened. A car went by by I couldn't see what make or who was driving. I questioned her about the door, saying it seemed very suspicious to me. She got emotional again, saying any suspicion is all in my head and she is a "not that kind of woman". Also "that darn door has done that before but it's nothing to worry about". It seemed darned fishy that in the time I had known her I had never seen the door do this (nor has it happened since) and it happened when I chose a random night for a surprise visit.

Since this last occurrence I've not noted any weird looking stuff and hate to investigate my GF. At the same time, after reading in the forum many writers say that waiting around after getting suspicious can be the choice of fools. My relationship is a good one except for the things I've observed this year. I don't believe my GF would cheat on me for love or emotional reasons, but she has a high libido. It makes me wonder if she would cross the line to boast her own ego, has an insecurity issue with men or just can't keep her legs closed for the right man and would even lie about it. Does any reader have advice - do I have a valid reason to be suspicious or am I just another jealous boyfriend?

[LiveWell]

"I can't believe you don't trust me - I've never cheated on you and would never cheat on you!"

 

If by "cheating" you mean "having sex with someone other than you," then yeah she's cheating on you.