My Wife Cheated, Im raising His Child!

[wicar1]

First and foremost, i just wanted to tell you how a good person and good heart you have. Some people don't get second chances, even they are truly sorry and admit their own mistake but you on the other hand did. It shows that you truly love your wife.

 

Every person is different in showing how sorry they are because each individual are raised different. If she stays with you until now that really means that she loves you. How did she leave with herself all this lies????????????how did she sleep at night knowing your youngest child is not your own?????????????that goes back with everyone is different.

 

One thing I know for sure, i know she loves you to be with you this long and probably realized her mistakes and how valuable you are to her and so she does not want to talk about it and move own for the future and not the past. She is also probably ashamed for what she has done. She is more focusing about the present not the past and since you keep bringing the situation up you keep the past alive over and over.

 

Also, just because she is the cheater don't think that she is not hurt double times of how you feel. She probably feel so guilty and full of pain each day because of what she done. I know that's how I feel each day, "GUILT" all i want to do is nothing but do good things for my husband to make things up but theres nothing i can say or do to make it up seems like. like this weekend he was here because he had an interview with border patrol and so he spends 2 nights at my place and we went to the chargers games and made some grilled steaks. I bought the tickets for him coz i know it makes him happy his into the chargers. Love to cook for him because i know food makes him happy and still divorcing and at the same time he is telling me that when my baby is born, he will be around. Today is his last day in san diego and his going back to North carolina that is where we are station and he spent his last night at his parents house. Here I am feeling so sick and horrible and hurt coz i know the divorce is in the process and taken care of. I am beginning to realize that maybe i need to not spend more time or talk to him as much because he won't be with me anyways and already meeting girls and getting phone number from girls at the bar. saturday he meet a girl at the bar and i had to pick him up from the bar and around 230 a.m some girl was texting him, so obviously he is looking for some girl to sleep with which he promise that he was not going to hang out at a bar or drink anymore because he end up sleeping with girls when he does get drunk.

He is coming back to visit his parents on december and he said he will spend time with me too? Now do you think that it would be a good idea for me to spend time with him although we are getting a divorce???????????????????????????

My suggestions would be to seek marriage counseling, i don't know where you are from but I know a good one here in San Diego. I have been seeing a marriage counselors although i go alone it really helped me with my pain that i deal with each day and to be in a good direction. I hope this will help you.

 

oh other thing that you wanna observe, is that her action because action speaks louder than words

 

Forgive me if I am harsh.... no offense

 

 

"I bought the tickets for him coz i know it makes him happy his into the chargers. Love to cook for him because i know food makes him happy and still divorcing and at the same time he is telling me that when my baby is born, he will be around."

 

- You knew what would make him happy but didn't you know cheating on him would cause him pain !!! make him sad !!!

 

- DO you think he would feel happy when his wife's carrying another man's child !!!

 

And you expect him to raise it.... !!!???

 

And you are advising KRWA1 to go MC ??? Him willing to raise OM's child shows his kindness....but keeping going MC with his wife is insane....it's like a ticket to raise a new OM's child...

[Nemicron]

See this is why I have no respect for the military anymore. My ex is in the military at FT carson and she turned into a uber slut. And 99 percent of them can't own up to their crimes. Like my ex. I'm also Ex military. So I can relate to you here totally. Honestly if your wife can't be honest with you. Then its not worth it. I'd say at this point you have either 2 options. And no just sticking with isn't an option because it will end up hurting you worse in the future. Anyway, if I were you. I'd give her a choice. Either tell you or your bailing. Once a person cheats like that, you can never trust them ever again. I'm actually surprised that you have been able to hold yourself up this long. no offense mean't. OR you could try a marriage counselor and tell her if she actually love you she will do this with you. You should have free access to either a counselor or something to that nature. But if it were me I'd divorce her so fast it would make her head spin and throw a women like that in the brigs. And I'd be questioning if she has done it more then once.

 

What rank are you? or are you retired?

 

 

 

 

Almost 6 years ago, I put 2 and 2 together and found out my wife was cheating. After questioning her, and years of lying and deception and so on... I gathered that:

 

The affair lasted 2 1/2 years.

It began while I was in Afghanistan.

He was Her Company Comander back in the states (military)

Her mother and Sister helped her conceal the affair after my return.

My youngest son is not mine but his.

 

To this day we are still married (11 years now), however we are going through some EXTREMELY rough times. At the time I forgave her for this horrible mistake and deception of my son being mine. I always had a feeling he wasnt, however I love him like my oldest son. That will never change.

 

For the past 6 years we would argue about this often, mainly because I bring up the issue. I dont really care about the issue of "cheating" anymore, moreso that I just want to ensure my wife was sorry for what she did to me, not sorry that she got caught. Ususally our arguments end up in turmoil mainly because she doesnt want to talk about it. It wasnt until my son was 5 1/2 years old, and I begged her to simply tell me the truth that she finally admitted it.

 

I am not able to move on from her continuous lying about that. But what trully keeps my walls up is that, she continues to lie about the situation.

All I wanted from her after I found out was 2 things. A peternity test, and for her to come to me, and tell me about the situation, and explain that she is sorry. 6 years later, I got neither. She did finally admit that my son was not mine, but she still wont talk to me about it.

 

As much as I love her, and my kids, I think im at the end of the rope. I still believe I deserve at least some respect that she shouldnt have to lie to me about anything. She swears she doesnt lie to me, but as recent as 4 months ago, I found out she lied to me about something totally rediculous and unrelated. Still to this day I wonder if she's sorry about what she did to me, or she's sorry about getting caught.

 

In either case, I cant move forward until I know. So nows the time to either Leave, or stay. Here I am trying to do right by my wife and kids enlight of the situation, but I dont think she can do right by me.

 

Any suggestions?

[jnj express]

Hey KR---1st you say your wife has been to hell and Back---well that was her own choosing---so she gets no sympathy in that respect

 

2nd as to your wife owning up---demand she take a polygraph, or tell her Divorce is on the table----somehow I don't think she is gonna get along very well financially on what she makes, if she has to go it alone----you have things you can do, to help you get to the truth, start doing them

 

3rd---yes if the other guy gets back into the picture---you could be stuck with him in your life till your child is 18 years old

 

4th---the other wife deserves to know---not as a revenge factor---but she deserves to know what her H. actually is---so she can decide how to deal with the rest of her life, ---she is entitled to be able to make a decision about her future with full knowledge of everything going on----turn it around---how would you feel if this were the reverse, and you were kept in the dark, as to what your wife actually was doing

[In Like Flynn]

Well she was able to drag this out long enough to make sure that you are stuck for child support if you divorce. Its been too long past the time you found out the kid was not yours. She can now divorce you. go back to the OM and you still have to pay. She could even tell the kid that you are not the real dad and OM is and you still have to pay.

[lkjh]

OP, I think you are being way too nice. You need to start making some demands like the one poster mention. Also stop giving her sympathy. How has she been through hell and back? She cheated, got away with it, and you are raising the child. Heck even her parents covered for her

[wicar1]

Well she was able to drag this out long enough to make sure that you are stuck for child support if you divorce. Its been too long past the time you found out the kid was not yours. She can now divorce you. go back to the OM and you still have to pay. She could even tell the kid that you are not the real dad and OM is and you still have to pay.

 

That sux ...!!!

[FilthMerchant]

How do you earn her respect? Divorce. Public humiliation

[KRWA1]

I can truthfully see, and understand everyones points. I guess its as simple as asking, that if you TRULY love someone, in which I believe I do... Is it possible that this person who has done this to me is capable of loving me as much? Naturally im getting her lip service, but is her not "owning" up to it, the answer to the question?

 

Thanks

[Darth Vader]

I can truthfully see, and understand everyones points. I guess its as simple as asking, that if you TRULY love someone, in which I believe I do... Is it possible that this person who has done this to me is capable of loving me as much? Naturally im getting her lip service, but is her not "owning" up to it, the answer to the question?

 

Thanks

 

 

Face it man, if your wife can do all of this to you, She doesn't love you, neither will she ever love you, she's using you! Leave the cancer, get the paternity testing done, get a really good lawyer, then take her and her OM's ass to the cleaners and expose him, after all, he did something immoral and Illegal in the military, and you have the proof. Grow a pair and do something about this Bastard! Americans don't want a Bastard protecting our country! Expose his ass!

 

Oh, and don't worry about hurting his family, he's already done that himself! Time to make Him pay!

[Dexter Morgan]

again, we are all human being and we make mistakes

 

cheating isn't a mistake. its a conscious decision to screw over a significant other all so that the cheater can get their rocks off.

 

 

and all we can do is learn from it and not do it again. No one is perfect

 

I'm not perfect and make mistakes....I accidentally type words wrong...I have driven down the wrong streets before...I mistook someone for someone I know...made mistakes in my check register.

 

but we are talking about cheating here. not simple imperfections in people. cheating is a character flaw...and a major one at that.

[Dexter Morgan]

OP... Get the ball rolling on all the back child support you are owed.

 

unfortunately, based on precedence, that won't happen.

 

In many cases a man that has been caring for a child for so long will be ordered by the courts to continue supporting the child even if DNA proves he isn't the biological father.

 

But I think most men if they have grown attached to the child, just might surprise you and not want to stop the relationship and might still want to take care of the child financially.

 

I know if I was to have found out my kids aren't mine, I couldn't abandon them...especially knowing that whoever my x wife slept with wasn't worth 2 squirts of piss.

 

I'd be heartbroken, but I couldn't let them think anyone else was their dad.

 

Now if I found out through a DNA test early on within the first few months that a child wasn't mine, I'd leave and never look back.

[Dexter Morgan]

KRWA1, you can't have it both ways. Either you bring it all out into the open, and let the chips fall where they may, or you keep it under wraps, raise HIS kid as your own, forgive your wife (even though she may do this again) and assume the position. The good news is that you are the one to make the choice, the bad news is that you are the one to make the choice. You are going to get screwed regardless. So do you take it or dish it out?

 

the other choice is, decide to get rid of his so-called wife, and decide that he still wants to be considered their father and continue to support them emotionally and financially. He doesn't have to be with her or forgive her for that.