you just don't get it

[shayan]

I read so many posts on LS with people trying to heal from their break ups.

 

it's rant, vent, hurt, disgust, he said this, I am afraid... I ****ing hate her!...

 

everything is focused on them. You know that thoughts work like this, thinking about something, you can't continue thinking about it and expect yourself to heal. It just doesn't work, in fact you're neurons just make stronger synapses you see those thought patterns become reinforced and you push yourself deeper and deeper into the pit. And your life becomes a soap opera and you the victim in this epic drama.

 

this is what I like to call bad sadness: obsessive, self destructive, counterproductive.

 

try to avoid this sort of mourning, tears should be healing, relieving not burying.

 

the only way you can stop a thought is by thinking another, what you spend the majority of the time thinking about then becomes your new reality. new thoughts, new ways, new habits, that is the only way you will heal. The key does not lie in them, it comes from renegotiating a new understanding with yourself based in love, confidence, inspiration.

[Someone Special]

After 3 years of grieving after a relationship involving a kid, I have come to the same conclusion as you. I have tried further education, making the best of friends, but you know, tonight, a girl just smiled at me and it made my World!!

 

Maybe not much chance of anything coming of it, but it made me up!

[Don Ho]

Well Shay that makes sense from an outside, logical perspective. Now if those that are all emotional with their hearts falling out could follow it, that would be great. You're really talking about the five stages of grief and how people deal with that. It's a process, I don't see that process changing no matter how "logical" an emotional, miserable dumpee tries to be.

[WTRanger]

It's easy to write (or copy and paste) and it's easy to read, but it's hard to actually do it in real life. Eventually each person hits the wall and finally accepts it.

 

It's like jumping from a perfectly good airplane. You know you should jump, you know you need to jump, but damn those legs just aren't budging. Sometimes you just need the jerk behind you to shove you out the door.