overseas2004 Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 I am having a lot of trouble coping with the break up of my relationship. I posted earlier on breakups and I don't want to go into the whole thing again about what happened. The thing that is killing me is that I was a very supportive and good girlfriend. I gave it my all to help him with some of his psychiatric problems (anger and impotency) and he ended up leaving me.. He never called me again. I thought that he loved me but he doesn't even need to ever hear my voice again. And that is killing me. I have been going out trying to stay busy. I go to work every day and do my job. But every night I come home and then I throw up (not voluntarily) and cry myself to sleep. Then I wake up crying in the morning. I have lost 7 kilos. Nothing is helping me to feel better. Its been a month now since we broke up and I still have hope that he will come back (and I shouldn't). I have tried to talk about it with a counsellor. I can't tell my friends because the impotency thing is too embarrasing to discuss with them. I have been going to church and praying. I feel like I am going mad? Has anyone not been able to shake these feelings as well? And what did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 What happened with the counsellor? You say you 'tried' to talk about it but what were you told to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author overseas2004 Posted March 4, 2004 Author Share Posted March 4, 2004 I was told to go out and try to forget about it. Continue in activities that I enjoy and to focus on other things. And I have been doing all that. But it hasn't helped. Because when I come home and I hit the bed. Well you know... you read it. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Well, get back to the counsellor and tell him or her that you're still a mess. You may need to get on anti-depressants. Some people become afflicted with situational obsession and need medical help to get unstuck. But first talk to the counsellor, who won't know that you're still in distress unless you let him or her know. Link to post Share on other sites
originalsphinx Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 [color=darkred][/color]I can relate to how you are feeling. My boyfriend broke up with me after eight months together with no good reason and I felt like my world had come to an end. It was as though I had become this empty shell, not a person anymore. I started having panic attacks whenever I recalled what happened because I felt like I would never be whole again. I am still not over him, but I am beginning to heal slowly. I think the key is learning to love yourself and realising that what happened did so for a reason. If he were the right one for you, he never would have hurt you like that. Some people advise you to throw yourself into your work, which helps while you are working but when you get home and are alone, it all comes flooding back to you. It's only been a month, so give yourself time to get over it. Spend more time with friends and other people you love. Continue counseling, it helps to have someone to talk to. Prayer is always essential. And if none of that works, you can always do what I did, take up kick-boxing. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 Overseas & Sphinx Panic Attacks & depression, i know where you both are coming from, did you also get the "i care for you but" bollocks?, i did. Thing is, you can't just do things you enjoy, you can't engulf yourself in work, because whilst you have a head, it's always in there. Link to post Share on other sites
originalsphinx Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 I get where you are coming from, believe me I do. Not a day goes by when I don't think about my ex and the things that happened between us. So much so that there are times when I wish I could just open my head and wash my brain out. Have any of you ever felt that way. But than again, there is this need to at least try to forget. When I am busy working, or doing something time consuming, he isn't in my head as much, so I guess that's a short term remedy. But the only thing that can heal you is time, really. Link to post Share on other sites
will_woman Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 overseas2004...you are not the only one.......i also belong to the same group as u. For me, it's been 6 months since he raised divorce. I still can remember every scenes in which how he accuse me for leaving him alone.....that why he look for new company. How he scream at me, shout at me.....all these hurt me like mad. Every sentences of his really cut me into pieces and left me bleeding there. I cannot forgot his expressionless face when he saw me crying so sadly. He just felt nothing. I have a feeling that I will never forget how he has hurt me..........no way....... I cannot remember when was the last time I went for facial or hair cut...But i recall how he looks when he was shouting at me....what he says....that heartless behaviours. I told my counseller about the short memory about recent stuff....but i can remember everything he has done...how he cheated on me. My counsellor said it has been a great impact to me....and it has printed onto my memory....i also wonder if I can ever erase it? We are not crazy....not going mad....just having a tough time coping with the wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 "I thought that he loved me but he doesn't even need to ever hear my voice again. And that is killing me. " Its dangerous to assume what he feels for you unless you know for sure by him showing you by his actions how he feels for you. He's in his own little world, dealing with his issues, issues that you can't even provide any solution for no matter how much you care for him or love him. Stop blaming yourself for this outcome, you didn't initiate it, he did. "But every night I come home and then I throw up (not voluntarily) and cry myself to sleep. Then I wake up crying in the morning" Change your after work activities.....like for example, go to a tango class, or learn the native language of the country you are in, become more spiritual, do SOMETHING to break your pattern of going home and crying. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author overseas2004 Posted March 9, 2004 Author Share Posted March 9, 2004 I am not being a smart a__. I already speak the native language of the country and I know how to Tango. However I do get your point. Actually I have been going out a lot. That seems to make it worse. I have toned down my outings to stay away from bars and loud places. It seems that I feel calmer and can be normal in small cafes and movies etc.... Still I am vomiting a hell of a lot at night and I don't know why. Lost another 2 kilos. Thanks for your comments. Link to post Share on other sites
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