Ruby Slippers Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I have never sought out relationships, but I was almost always in one until 2 years ago, when I broke up with my "commitment phobe", or whatever, boyfriend. This is the longest I have ever been single, and it's been invaluable for many reasons. I've dated a little, but nothing serious. And now I am ready for love again. However, my career has skyrocketed this year (amazing how much one can get done without a lover in her life), and it takes up most of my time. I divide the rest of it among working out, having get-togethers every weekend with friends, and doing creative things I enjoy. I have been approached by some guys lately, but none I'm interested in. They seem to fall into two main groups: very good-looking men who seem to want just sex, and guys who seem to want a relationship but have issues of the emotional or social ilk that are too significant to ignore. So. Where are some good places to meet smart, stable, relationship-desiring men around ages 35-40? The biggest turn-on for me is intelligence. But he has to be socially adept as well. I always click well with slightly nerdy but socially well-adjusted science guys. Looks are not at the top of the list for me. I see beauty in pretty much everyone. Much more important is that he is loyal, solid, affectionate, sensual, and that we have a passionate connection. I have never done online dating, and I'm not drawn to the idea. I would strongly prefer to meet men the natural way. So fellas, where am I likely to find you? Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Well you probably find me at the gym or shopping at Coles lol. Not very exciting places. Yeah I would pass on the OLD thing as well. Believe me I know a lady (in person) who's tried it on so many different sites and she always seems to meet nutcases - seriously! Now did I just imply that I am a "smart, stable, relationship-desiring man around ages 35-40?" Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Join some clubs that are related to things you interested in. There are bound to be good single men there. Also if there is a chamber of commerce or some type of business association get your business involved in it. I work for the chamber of commerce in my area and we have meetings and mixers all the time and some relationships have started at these events. Link to post Share on other sites
refurb Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 How old are you? Yes, it matters. NN Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 prison would be a good place to start Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Oh we're around. Though that particular age range might be a bit slimmer since most men that age who are well put together are often taken. But stuff happens and some end up back on the market again. Like Woggle said, do things you enjoy that have group settings and see what happens. You may find one playing guitar at a gig some night. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I agree with Woogle. Club events would seem to be the best solution, even though you're usually busy. Sure beats going to bars or clubs. What part of the world do you live in, Ruby? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I have never sought out relationships, but I was almost always in one until 2 years ago, when I broke up with my "commitment phobe", or whatever, boyfriend. This is the longest I have ever been single, and it's been invaluable for many reasons. I've dated a little, but nothing serious. And now I am ready for love again. However, my career has skyrocketed this year (amazing how much one can get done without a lover in her life), and it takes up most of my time. I divide the rest of it among working out, having get-togethers every weekend with friends, and doing creative things I enjoy. I have been approached by some guys lately, but none I'm interested in. They seem to fall into two main groups: very good-looking men who seem to want just sex, and guys who seem to want a relationship but have issues of the emotional or social ilk that are too significant to ignore. So. Where are some good places to meet smart, stable, relationship-desiring men around ages 35-40? The biggest turn-on for me is intelligence. But he has to be socially adept as well. I always click well with slightly nerdy but socially well-adjusted science guys. Looks are not at the top of the list for me. I see beauty in pretty much everyone. Much more important is that he is loyal, solid, affectionate, sensual, and that we have a passionate connection. I have never done online dating, and I'm not drawn to the idea. I would strongly prefer to meet men the natural way. So fellas, where am I likely to find you? Not at the honky tonk bar I'm heading off to for karaoke, that's for sure. I'm f btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Cracker Jack, I live in Chicago. I totally love this city, too. The business association idea is good, but the thing is that I was recently head-hunted for a full-time position, and I took it and just started there. The work itself is a breeze for me, and the pay is excellent relative to the amount of effort it requires, so I thought I'd try it. The only hard part is being in the office all day. On top of this, though, I'm running a booming startup, so I work about 80 hours a week. Pretty much all I do right now is work, with some short breaks for fun here and there. So spending my limited free time doing business stuff doesn't sound that great at the moment. Guitar player. Yeah. Three out of four of my exes are musicians, like me, so that's a natural fit. But I have no time for making music right now, beyond the occasional indulgence in belting out my songs in the house -- which is very fun, but a solo gig. Going to open mics again would take a lot of time and energy that I just don't have at the present time. But this is probably the most sure-fire way to meet cool guys who love what I love. The truth is I probably don't even have time for a relationship. But I sometimes miss the presence of romantic love in my life, and I am definitely wanting some fun, hot sex on a regular basis. I guess I am just going to have to make socializing a priority if I want to meet a cool guy. Link to post Share on other sites
alexlakeman Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I just find online much easier... At a bar it's a pia, unless you are a girl, as you... all you have to do is stand around and wait for the guys to come talk to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 I just find online much easier... At a bar it's a pia, unless you are a girl, as you... all you have to do is stand around and wait for the guys to come talk to you I don't like meeting men at bars, at all. There's that immediate haze of expectation and innuendo. I mean, I will flirt and dance a bit with one if I go out with my girlfriends, but that's it. The only bar-like place I can imagine meeting a man is this fantastic jazz club here. One of my fantasies is to show up there in a slinky red dress and sing smoky jazz while a nerdy-sexy jazz pianist accompanies me on the club's awesome piano. And afterward, a man from the crowd in a fedora and trench coat sweeps me away from it all. lol Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Skydiving. You will meet all sorts from all walks of life. Who enjoy doing many other things as well. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I have a hard time meeting guys my age that I am attracted to. I see guys around the local pub where I go with my roomies sometimes, but my roomies are both guys- and quite frankly, when we go out, I enjoy just hanging with them and catching up. I don't like meeting guys in bars at all. In the past week, I got hit on by 3 strangers- they were probably 40ish in age, but they looked like grandpa's. I'd just like ot meet a guy around my own age that doesn't look/dress like he's ready for the old folks home:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
tincanman99 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 (edited) Gyms, various stores (book stores, Macys, you get the idea), clubs and classes are your best bet. Just be forewarned most men do not pick up the signal when women give them out. We are to put it politely - brain dead. I am not a bar guy and will occasionally have a cocktail in one but I dont frequent them often. Edited October 30, 2010 by tincanman99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 I'd just like ot meet a guy around my own age that doesn't look/dress like he's ready for the old folks home:eek: You're reminding me of a friend of mine who complains about the same thing. She's 39, very cute and fit, and a social butterfly, and she said most of the guys her age are overweight and haggard looking. She's much more concerned about looks than I am, and she leans toward the commitment phobic and restless, so she has gotten involved with a lot of 20-something guys. Now she is more seriously seeing a 27-year-old who seems to completely adore her and is already feeling her out for holiday plans and stuff. I think this could work in her case, since she has the heart of a 20-something, and the guy seems very solid and relationship-oriented. Actually, the most compelling prospects for me have been in their 20s, too (28 and 24), and it was their age more than anything that held me back. I am skeptical of 20-something guys, but I'm starting to wonder if they don't deserve a little more consideration. I'm 34, btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Skydiving. You will meet all sorts from all walks of life. Who enjoy doing many other things as well. Ahhhh, I used to want to do this! Now I think I am too chicken. But I'm sure you're right that I'd meet some awesome guys that way! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Ahhhh, I used to want to do this! Now I think I am too chicken. But I'm sure you're right that I'd meet some awesome guys that way! You will meet awesome guys. And we have parties, bbq's, nights on the town, base jumping, the list goes on. It really turns into a big social network. Don't let fear stand in your way. Once you're out the door of that plane it'll be the biggest rush of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Oh, you are tempting me. Are you in that icon picture, by chance? And Denver, huh? Oh, I love a man from the West. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I can set you up if you want me to. Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Philosophy Groups. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I have never sought out relationships, but I was almost always in one until 2 years ago, when I broke up with my "commitment phobe", or whatever, boyfriend. This is the longest I have ever been single, and it's been invaluable for many reasons. I've dated a little, but nothing serious. And now I am ready for love again. However, my career has skyrocketed this year (amazing how much one can get done without a lover in her life), and it takes up most of my time. I divide the rest of it among working out, having get-togethers every weekend with friends, and doing creative things I enjoy. I have been approached by some guys lately, but none I'm interested in. They seem to fall into two main groups: very good-looking men who seem to want just sex, and guys who seem to want a relationship but have issues of the emotional or social ilk that are too significant to ignore. So. Where are some good places to meet smart, stable, relationship-desiring men around ages 35-40? The biggest turn-on for me is intelligence. But he has to be socially adept as well. I always click well with slightly nerdy but socially well-adjusted science guys. Looks are not at the top of the list for me. I see beauty in pretty much everyone. Much more important is that he is loyal, solid, affectionate, sensual, and that we have a passionate connection. I have never done online dating, and I'm not drawn to the idea. I would strongly prefer to meet men the natural way. So fellas, where am I likely to find you? I'm with you on the online thing... I've been checking out meetup.com and that seems like I might be a good way to meet guys... or make new friends that can introduce you to a guy I haven't gone to any of the events yet but some day... anyho, they have meetup groups for practically everything... maybe you should check it out? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Oh, you are tempting me. Are you in that icon picture, by chance? And Denver, huh? Oh, I love a man from the West. No, but I took the pic. Right out the door of a Kingair 100 over Ariz, just as I jumped. But yes, I live in Denver. You should try it, like I said, you'll meet tons of cool people Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Just be forewarned most men do not pick up the signal when women give them out. We are to put it politely - brain dead. Hmmm. So what do you suggest I do? I have NEVER approached a man. I have always let them come to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 I'm with you on the online thing... I've been checking out meetup.com and that seems like I might be a good way to meet guys... or make new friends that can introduce you to a guy I haven't gone to any of the events yet but some day... anyho, they have meetup groups for practically everything... maybe you should check it out? I actually did join meetup right after I moved here, but I had a boyfriend at the time, so it was just for friends. We actually used to go to a musicians' meetup together, and we had a lot of fun performing there. I have looked at some events there since, but haven't been back to one. I will think about going again! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I live in Chicago. I totally love this city, too. Hey, sitting at ORD right now. Beautiful skyline coming in this morning over the lake. My .02 would be to take some of those killer career earnings and buy a couple rental properties and hire contractors, who tend to be manly, often single, and in the age group you desire. Also, you can meet other like-minded men through landlord/apartment owner associations. My exW's brother (and she) is a Chi-town native and he did that and appears to be doing quite well. He stayed single for a long time between marriages and didn't get re-married until he was around 50. Have fun Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts