Kendrick Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 (edited) She is playing a messed up game with your b/f and he is playing along. If he truly wanted to drop her and cut contact with her, he would. I'm sure he thinks he is trying to help or save her, but he isn't, and he will not be able to. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you and him had before you met her, but, it will not be normal or productive as a couple until she is out of the picture. He needs to be more concerned about his relationship with you than trying to help her or gradually backing off from her. Delete her from all contacts, emails, IM's, cells, etc etc. Edited November 10, 2010 by Kendrick Link to post Share on other sites
Cratsky Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I agree with previous responses. Contact the police, and make a report. Show them proof of her harassment etc. Ensure that your boyfriend avoids all contact with her because 'you do not have responsibility over the actions someone else chooses to take.' Regardless of her mental state, I believe a person always has a choice. By associating, thinking, talking about this person you are continuing to let her into your lives. Let it go. Stop talking about it. Simply remove all traces of this individual. Change your mobile number if you have to (some carriers charge you to block a number) and move on with your lives. Some people simply cannot be helped, and you've never even met this person. I repeat, let it go. How can you be happy making up excuses to keep such a negative force in your lives? You're choosing to let this happen to you. Take back your power, and get rid of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Blonde4u Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 I haven't read all of the replies and, I am not sure if anyone has said this or, if you responded to this already. Save all the Im's about her suicidal have her committed she needs help and she is putting you guys through stress you do not need. She may love him but, if your boyfriend cares for you he wouldn't be speaking to her. I know he is afraid of her "threats" I am sure she won't kill herself, I am sure that she is saying these things to get attention. She really needs help you should dial 911 next time or, call a number to get her some help. Use the IM's as proof you have to get rid of her some way this is not healthy for your guys sake and your guys relationship. Have the IM's as proof and I am sure if he quit talking to her she won't do that because, I am sure she is only doing that to get your boyfriends attention and making him feel bad for her. How about writing an email to her family and parents? If you can't do anything about it then do that, maybe her family will do something about it maybe she will get the help she needs. But you have got to do something some way there is no reason to ruin your guys relationship and health over the threats like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity2 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 She sounds demonic to me. So, you've never met this person except for MSN? That is scary and a lesson to all of us:( Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity2 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Your b/f can not fix her, and really doesn't need to tell her to ask her counselor about BPD, if anything this will only make her more angry. He needs to not talk to her at all, period. Backing off is probably not going to work. He will have to go cold turkey with her. Also, he is not responsbile, nor is anyone, for whatever she may or not do. He needs to stop being an enabler, he is just reinforcing her behavior. The suicide threats could be a game and a way to control him. In the beginning she found that it worked, so thus she is using that method to control. Very simple actually. Link to post Share on other sites
goldeneagle Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 really great post. Thanks for the great responses Link to post Share on other sites
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