If you're married, for how long? How do you keep sex exciting?

[ladyjune]

how long have you been married and how do you keep your sex life interesting and not boring?

[Benedict]

Ah, yes... The Old Question.

 

BTW< I am certain that someone will suggest reading "The Sex-Starved Marriage" on this thread. I have no idea if it is a good book, but enough people on this forum - whose opinions I respect - have suggested it that I would like to read it. And I will, as soon as I can figure out a way to disguise the cover... "Hey, whatcha readin', honey?"

 

Back to The Old Question.

 

I have been married almost eight years. The sex drops off a bit at around a year and a half or so... maybe sooner. I consider myself to be pretty damn lucky: my wife is a true hottie. I am no Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt, but I keep myself up and am OK. But SHE is amazing, and I still get all excited and giddy when we touch. lol, when I know we're going to have sex, I get even worse (read: 16). We're both pretty open-minded, but still fairly tame. It is always good when we do it... I dunno... maybe three to five times a month. Could be more to make me happy.

 

Add in kids (2), dogs (2), jobs (2), a band (1 that we both are in), gym time (4x a week, with the kids), cleaning house, shopping for groceries, all the tons of annoying f*cking things that get in the way... and I'm left with... about 14 minutes for sex every week. Hey! I am actually getting a LOT!!

[Fraggles]

I recommend reading A Passionate Marriage. It's very good.

 

Keeping your sex life interesting just takes work and attention. If either one finds they are getting bored, think of something or somewhere new to add to the mix.

 

With my me and my H's sex life, things got real bad when we stopped being intimiate. And by that I do not mean sexually but truly intimate where we shared our feelings, emotions etc. Once that intimacy waned so did the sex.

 

After going thru a major crisis in our marriage, we are more intimate than we have ever been, and boy oh boy, the sex is better than ever!!!!

 

Do yourself a favor and make sure you keep communication open and things should be ok. It's hard work but you dont want the consequences we had to face (dealing with an affair) to improve our sex life!

[Karlise]

Well, I am not technically married but I do live with my BF and we are monogamous and live together.

We've been together about 3 years.

 

Sex is now about once a week. We both work very hard and have hobbies and friends that take up time. So our time together is limited. I'm OK with that because when we do hook up it's still good!!.

 

I think fantasy is very helpful to keep sex exciting. You can try openly discussing your fantasies or, just keep them to yourself. I am very imaginative and have a lot of sexual scenarios that I play out in my head. They get me very turned and aroused. Then, when I see that my arousal is getting my partner turned on, it's even better!

 

I know some people like porn and some people hate it. Porn films do nothing for me. But I DO like reading erotic stories.

We are very secure and I don't mind if he reads playboy and he doesn't mind if I read erotic literature.

 

I think it's also helpful to change your surroundings from time to time. Don't always do it in the same room on the same piece of furniture. Try doing it in a different room. Or be a little daring and do it outside in the woods, (at night is safer, of course, in terms of not getting caught)

 

Try doing something out of character. Ever give a BJ while he's driving the car? For most men, this is mind blowing.

 

Mostly, it's just about being creative and having a sense of humour.

[mstckh]

I'm so much in love with the guy that I know is my soul mate. Everything I do with him just seems to comet together He was my Husbands best friend. My husband brought us together closer and closer before he passed away. He tells me that I really truly loves me but how do I really know or is feeling guilty and keeping a promise he made to my husband?

Please help me.

[Errol]

Over 20 years. Um, sex toys? You might be able to find my posts on that topic!

 

Get the kids out of the house -- or better yet, get an overnight babysitter and get YOU & your partner out of the house! Check into a nice hotel for one night and get to know each other again without interruptions or distractions.

[lohrewok]

We've been married for 3 years....have sex 2-3 times a week. We would like to everyday but who has time?

 

To keep it exciting we'll try different positions, role-playing, porn.....the best is when we can just lay there and talk for an hour or so and connect mentally. That is what is exciting.