control issues

[ileene]

i don't understand why my boyfriend gets mad at me and blames me for being controlling when all i am doing is making suggestions or trying to help him. is this a guy thing or what? he always gives me his opinion on things and i don't explode at him. yesterday he said he was going to do some work for his dad yet everytime i talked to him he was doing something else, i said, you'll never get that work done for your dad, and he blew up at me, yelled at me and hung up on me. he say's he is sick and tired of my controlling him. i know that i am a controlling person, but how do you get controlling out of trying to offer suggestions or be helpful? i feel so hurt by this, cause i don't try to be controlling. he does and says things too, that i could take as controlling too but i don't, i know he is only trying to help me. he has such a bad attitude of me and i ask him why he stays with me, he answers cause i love you, well i love him too, but even he loves me like he says and says these things about me and still stays with me then maybe he has a big problem too. i am tired of hearing of how i am, i know how i am, i am controlling, jealous, insecure and always asking questions cause i don't know what is going on if i don't. i am seriously working on all the questions i ask him, but it seems that i can go days without asking him anything, then at the wrong time i say the wrong thing and he blows up at me and says i always do this or always do that. it's like when someone quits smoking, you don't notice until they light up again. he says he hasn't noticed any change in me, i say i have changed alot, and if he can't tell then oh well, to heck with him. what do i do? i'm tired of feeling like the bad guy all the time, while he goes around thinking he is so perfect, faultless and blameless.

[billy the kid]

you sound so totally grown up like your 40 or, sorry no offence on the age thing... how about trying to being indeffierent to every thing... eat what you want, go where you want, do what you want... and most of all, when he wants to argue,DON'T.. smile and walk out and do something for YOU..this will be controlling.. take charge of your self, at this point you are letting him be in control.... in a relationship you both should be.. so let him know that you can be in control also... he's not the boss, you both are..if this doesn't work you do know the "L" word..

i don't understand why my boyfriend gets mad at me and blames me for being controlling when all i am doing is making suggestions or trying to help him. is this a guy thing or what? he always gives me his opinion on things and i don't explode at him. yesterday he said he was going to do some work for his dad yet everytime i talked to him he was doing something else, i said, you'll never get that work done for your dad, and he blew up at me, yelled at me and hung up on me. he say's he is sick and tired of my controlling him. i know that i am a controlling person, but how do you get controlling out of trying to offer suggestions or be helpful? i feel so hurt by this, cause i don't try to be controlling. he does and says things too, that i could take as controlling too but i don't, i know he is only trying to help me. he has such a bad attitude of me and i ask him why he stays with me, he answers cause i love you, well i love him too, but even he loves me like he says and says these things about me and still stays with me then maybe he has a big problem too. i am tired of hearing of how i am, i know how i am, i am controlling, jealous, insecure and always asking questions cause i don't know what is going on if i don't. i am seriously working on all the questions i ask him, but it seems that i can go days without asking him anything, then at the wrong time i say the wrong thing and he blows up at me and says i always do this or always do that. it's like when someone quits smoking, you don't notice until they light up again. he says he hasn't noticed any change in me, i say i have changed alot, and if he can't tell then oh well, to heck with him. what do i do? i'm tired of feeling like the bad guy all the time, while he goes around thinking he is so perfect, faultless and blameless.