what kind of car do you drive? augh!

[sweetbilly]

i'm tired of women, i'm not saying i like men or anything, but i'm sick of the bull i always get from the opposite sex. i'm tired of playing the stupid game of chase, and then if you miss the signs and you say something nice you feel like an ass when she says that's nice but i don't feel the same way.

why can't women just tell you when they like you, instead of acting like dumbass bimbos. another thing i hate is when only married women will flirt with me, i can't develop a relationship with a married woman.

i've tried for years to have a normal relationship with someone, and because i'm shy things never work out, i never get approached by women and when i do i always wait for the dreaded " what kind of car do you drive" crap. maybe i'm a little insecure, but with all the bull%$#! women pull, it's justified.

So, i've decided i'm oing to give up hope of ever finding someone. What do you think? Am i right? Is it just me? are there other guys out there that feel the same way? i'd also like some advice from women or should i say "the enemy" even though i don't feel it will help.

[jenny]

er...i think your question was asked and answered in the same post.

 

believe it or not, we can often read this kind of attitude coming off of men. so much of communication is non-verbal, and if this is your verbal stance, i shudder to think of what your non-verbal is indicating.

 

i know some women do ask about cars and whatnot, and that's inappropriate. i am also sorry you are not getting any, but developing a philosophy of antagonism is definitely *not* going to help that state of affairs.

[metal_chik]

God dude u are down on women! If u wanna meet a single chick, go to a club and start TALKING to some girls. And the whole car thing is about status, no chick wants some broke ass dude with a bus pass...that's just how we are. U don't want a girlfriend that can't cook or clean do ya?

 

I don't think u should give up, not at all. If everybody else can find someone I'm sure u can to:) And if u act really shy and reserved around a girl, most of us will think it's b/c there's something wrong with us...like, omg why isn't he talking to me?! Just try to relax and have fun, don't go out like it's a quest for a woman. Good luck:)....btw, do u have ne good female friends? If not, get one so u will have a better understanding of how they work...when u know how they work u can manipulate them!

[moimeme]

U don't want a girlfriend that can't cook or clean do ya?

 

Awk!

 

Personally, I don't want a guy who can't cook or clean. That's the kind of question I ask.

[befuddled11]

I'll respond below to some of the statements you've made:

 

[why can't women just tell you when they like you, instead of acting like dumbass bimbos.

 

Nice attitude, dude. Dumbass bimbos? You should seriously consider having that large chip removed from you shoulder.

 

Maybe you just need to learn to be more in-tune with signals woman give off, so that they don't necessarily need to have a neon sign flashing for you, indicating whether they like you or not.

 

i've tried for years to have a normal relationship with someone, and because i'm shy things never work out, i never get approached by women and when i do i always wait for the dreaded " what kind of car do you drive" crap. maybe i'm a little insecure, but with all the bull%$#! women pull, it's justified.

 

Your own sense of insecurity is YOUR problem, and if you choose to justify it, well that's your choice, but that doesn't mean it can be justified. You're the one who makes the choice to feel insecure.

 

What kind of women are you trying to meet? What kind of places are you going to meet them? For instance, if you're scouring places like "the bar" to meet someone, of course you're not going to meet someone decent (in your age group of the 30's). A lot of people have trouble meeting someone compatible/good, because of the places they look to meet them.

 

As for women asking "what kind car do you have?"...I know you were just using that as an example....but I'll explain to you, from my perspective, why *I* work that question into the conversation, early on after meeting a guy. I've met an unbelievably large number of guys in their 30s who either don't have a vehicle, or have lost their driver's license. Great catch? Um, NOT. If a guy can't afford to have a vehicle, when he's in his 30's, there's something seriously wrong. Doesn't he work? How does he get around? Is he looking for a girlfriend/taxi-driver? And if he's lost his license due to drinking and driving...well then he's toast in my books, and I wouldn't give him the time of day. Or if he's lost his license for wreckless driving or something along those lines, I don't want anything to do with him,either.

 

What places are you look at to meet women?

 

What qualities are you looking for in a woman?

[stinky_81JL]

Girls be nice This kid is guys just frustrated and I personally know what he is talking about most of the girls here in Miami are like that money drugs sex where you work yes It's status but everyone now is marrying for status and look at the divorce rate how about marrying going out with a guy for personality love intelligence the things that matter yes money you do need for kids house ect but I don't think It's the most Important thing as for you dude don't give up just stop looking at the same type of girls I have had the same problem except I have a nice car and job but you don't want to be with a cold bitch take it from me It's not that great But on the other hand my girl really doesn't care about my car because I can't drive till July and she picks me up from like 30 miles away every Friday but she is crazy and brings my ego and self worth down to nothing at times so I don't know which is better a materialistic gurl or a girl with mental issues well sorry for rambling hope I helped but don't give up trust me just try to have fun and don't take the turn downs personally just go talk to another girl here in Miami or Ft Lauderdale there are like 100s of girls in the club back when I was single If one shot me down about 3 others would come up to me so odds are if you stay confident girls will sence this and they will like you for it girls want a strong man in all aspects which I'm loosing my strength thanks to the love of my life but I love her & I hope all will work out but good luck

[jenny]

i hope this is cool with you, but evidently i feel it incumbent on myself to fix all unreadable posts today so they can be responded to.

 

Originally posted by stinky_81JL

Girls be nice. This kid is just frustrated and I personally know what he is talking about.

 

most of the girls here in Miami are like that. [they ask about] money drugs sex where you work.

 

yes It's status. but everyone now is marrying for status. look at the divorce rate, how about going out with a guy for personality love intelligence - the things that matter.

 

yes money you do need for kids house ect but I don't think It's the most Important thing.

 

as for you dude don't give up just stop looking at the same type of girls. I have had the same problem except I have a nice car and job but you don't want to be with a cold bitch take it from me. It's not that great

 

But on the other hand my girl really doesn't care about my car because I can't drive till July and she picks me up from like 30 miles away every Friday but she is crazy and brings my ego and self worth down to nothing at times so I don't know which is better a materialistic gurl or a girl with mental issues.

 

well sorry for rambling. hope I helped but don't give up; trust me. just try to have fun and don't take the turn downs personally, just go talk to another girl.

 

here in Miami or Ft Lauderdale there are like 100s of girls in the club back when I was single. If one shot me down about 3 others would come up to me so odds are if you stay confident, girls will sence this and they will like you for it.

 

girls want a strong man in all aspects which I'm losing my strength thanks to the love of my life but I love her & I hope all will work out but good luck

[sweetbilly]

I didn't mean to offend anyone. And i don't hate women, just the things they say and do to me. I 'm always getting hurt by cruel women, and i'm often taken advantage of. So, I don't go to bars or clubs, when you go to bars or clubs you either get alcoholics or bar flies with aids.

 

I'm not cruel to people, in fact, i'm very nice to most people I meet, probably too nice. i'm sure I appear nieve to alot of women and that probobly reinforces the idea that i'm stupid, but i'm not. I'm not an a-hole and never use women for material or sexual gain; and I want to be treated the same way.

 

Really, I wouldn't have the first inclination where I could meet women. I don't go hunting for them, and like I said I hate the chase.

 

I've been hurt so many times that I dread the thought of even talking to a woman, muchless asking for her company. This has led me to develop a very hardend heart. And consequently, i don't make friends easily. I mean, people come and people go, but because I get overlooked all the time, I don't want to attach myself to anyone. There was this girl who once asked me out, and because i'm so gunshy, i was actually insulted when she said "go ahead you can ask me... i'll say yes" right out of the blue. However, what i heard was you look so homely to me, I know you'll never cheat, and then my mind told me she had ulterior motives "What kind of car do you drive". And I really thought she was beautiful, I wanted to say yes. instead, i didn't say anything and just walked away.

 

Honestly, I think I've already given up in my heart. whenever I'm walking I just keep my head down, and hope no one notices me; it's better than being hurt . These days, when I see people holding eachother, I get mad, It feels like i'm being teased, and i don't want to say something nasty to them, so i just walk faster. This has kept me from learning how to get the attention of a woman, or even to understand when she's interested. I also have a very low self esteem, and an overactive imagination. so this dosen't help, and when i was younger i was teased constantly in school which helped me develop my inferiority complex.

 

I'm not going to go into it, but there was this girl I was in love with when i was younger. And I know she loved me. last year I found out she married to someone else, and then a part of me just died. since then, I get irritated very easily; I think about it everyday. it's killing me.

 

All i've ever really wanted is a relationship that is similar to the one I had with her. Eventhough i know i'll never find it. I really know she loved me, we spent all day together everyday, we huged, kissed, talked she made me feel good about myself, she never said anything bad to me. and I always wanted to be a better person, for her! For me it's not about sex, that's just an afterthought, I want to feel like a person. I want that connection again, but all i ever get is " what kind of car do you drive?"

[jenny]

wow! what a terrific and sincere post. very honest - i really think i know where you are coming from now. i just wanted to tell you that was really cool, right away, and i'll respond in more detail later.

[moimeme]

Really, I wouldn't have the first inclination where I could meet women

 

Tons and tons of places. Join a club. Take a class. Work for a charity. Volunteer. Become part of an arts group. Go to meetings or lectures or festivals. People gather many places other than just bars. Take dance lessons!

 

But first you better deal with some other stuff:

 

Honestly, I think I've already given up in my heart. whenever I'm walking I just keep my head down, and hope no one notices me; it's better than being hurt

 

You have given all your power to others. Read Albert Ellis on relationships and about being rejected. He's got some great stuff on how to be happy within yourself rather than depending on others' opinions.

 

I want that connection again, but all i ever get is " what kind of car do you drive

 

First things first. Your soured attitude needs to change so you'll be an enjoyable person to be around. You need to take charge of your own self-esteem. And then, give people a break. You are not going to fall in love in a flash and some people have trouble coming up with things to say in conversation so they ask 'What do you do?' or 'What kind of car do you drive?'. Consider this an opening to conversation rather than an insult.

[peaches1234]

As I'm reading this post, images of last Friday night soar through my head.

 

Here's the scene: my best friend and I went to a popular dance bar. She's single, I'm not. Neither of us are alcoholics; neither of us likes to drink much. 2-3 drinks a month...maybe. This night I had one drink, she had a pepsi. Booze is not the defining reason women go to bars. We went there to dance. Sometimes we go play pool with a bunch of friends, sometimes we go sit and have a good drink and some good food after a long days work....

 

But anyway, on with my story...she's never had a boyfriend, simply by choice in the past because she's pre-med. She's on the look-out now though, and we were talking about where to find men. She and I took a break from dancing and sat down at a table. We had the following conversation:

 

Her: "I'd never pick up a guy in a bar, it seems so, I dunno, sketchy."

 

Me: "Wait a minute, we're both here at a bar, and we're nice people with high ambitions...maybe there's guys here like that too...".

 

Her: "Hmm...come to think of it my sister met her current boyfriend at a bar and he's a great guy".

 

Basically, what I am getting at is that stereotyping will only hinder your attempts to meet a nice girl. Be more open- minded, and please don't expect one to fall into your lap. Too many people think they are owed something from this world, and really, love is not something to be lax about and expect wonderful things to happen as a result.

 

It seems as if you are creating your own limitations.

 

Oh, and I met my boyfriend at University, so if you're in school, there's another potential meeting place.