You make yourself happy, not them.

[pandagirl]

I will fully disclose that I am still getting over my ex, and it still hurts, but it's with less frequency.

 

I think what I've embraced is the notion that the only person who can make me happy is ME. The more we depended on another person to "complete" us or make us happy, the less we were actually in a good place to be in a relationship.

 

A lot of people are pining away on here, including me, because we are craving some "feeling." Or we feel rejected, betrayed or humiliated. Not to sound insensitive, but this is just part of life. I'm old enough to have seen lots of broken relationships and hearts, betrayals and divorces. Our stories are not uncommon, but actually unifying, because we are simply human.

 

Once we get over the initial really hard part, we truly have to pick ourselves up and start to take care of ourselves. The hurt doesn't go away overnight, but it's a powerful and amazing feeling to realize we have control over our happiness.

 

I've kept myself busy, making plans with friends, planning trips, focusing on work, etc. When I first started, I was just going through the motions, because my head and heart were still completely with my ex. But the more I kept on doing them, I started to see results, which has benefited me hugely.

 

I think I will always love my ex in some capacity, but it's more important to love myself. And the more I love myself, the more I realize I am a lovable person. Just because ONE person decided not to be with me, it doesn't take away anything from me, because my worth is not based on him, but how I feel about myself.

[bl22]

This is so true. When i first met my ex, my life was great, I didnt need her, i wanted her. She could tell i was happy and things were great between us.

 

I know if i can get my life back to how it was and love myself again like i did before her, then I'd be happy again, and she'd see me for when she fell for me again, hopefully I'll be over her by then.