sunshinegirl Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 I posted the start of what will be a long road ahead in a thread on the "Getting Married" board (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t248164/). To make a long story short, I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 days before my wedding. I am currently awaiting surgery - mastectomy - and a definitive pathology of the tumor. The biopsy found an early stage non-invasive cancer, but for a variety of reasons the docs expect to find some invasive cells (a little bit or a lot, they don't know) elsewhere in the tumor. I also have one palpable lymph node in my armpit, although they aspirated a node in there 3 weeks ago (probably that one though we're not sure) and it was clean. I'm hoping it's just inflammation from being poked with a needle 3 times. Apart from the sheer shock of having cancer at age 36, my new husband and I are in that terrible "not knowing" place where we don't yet know how serious or advanced my cancer is. It is possible (though unlikely) that the entire tumor is non-invasive and I would be a 'Stage 0'. This would be fantastic. It is also possible that there could be a lot of invasive tissue in there, and it may have already spread to my lymph nodes...so I could be as far along as a 'Stage 3' too. I know that LucreziaBorgia went through cancer a couple of years ago - I learned a lot from her thread. It completely sucks to be going through it myself, but I guess the silver lining is that it looks like I will finally get to have the boobs of my dreams -- I always wanted a perky B/C set instead of the much larger set that God/nature gave me. Thanks to a mastectomy and reconstruction, it looks I will get to build the perfect rack. I hope to keep my sense of humor through this, though I have had some very dark moments, and probably will have more in the weeks and months ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 And in the days ahead when you come to LS, this place will be at its best. Whenever you need support, a rant, a cry or even a laugh, somebody will be here for you. Now go give your lovely new husband a hug and a kiss Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 I am sorry that you have cancer. I am glad you are getting treatment and fighting back. I will pray for your recovery and well being. Cancer sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 OP, my sympathies. The good news is your prognosis is excellent. My mom survived breast cancer with complete remission for eight years before dementia killed her a couple months ago. Treatments and detection have improved so much over the years. Please accept my best wishes for a full recovery and complete remission. Link to post Share on other sites
jennifer4 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 You're in my thoughts. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 yrs ago and has completely recovered. It seems yours was caught early also. Good luck and you WILL beat this! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 am praying that their worst-case scenario is just theory and that the tests come out clean. You and you husband need to promise yourselves that you'll put time aside for the two of YOU that's worry-free and not fixated on this disease ... as crappy as all of this is, you deserve to be honeymooners for the time being. hugs and prayers, q Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 My aunt got breast cancer, but she had a masectomy and is now in remission. She did not even have to have Chemo. I wish you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Oh Sun, I am so sorry you have to go through this! A close gf of mine found a lump in her breast the size of a golf ball at the age of 37, it turned out to be stage 3- she had her treatment and is healthy, happy and doing well 3 (cancer free) 3 years later. I am sure your doc has told you that with all of the advancements of medicine in the recent years that they have come a long way in treating breast cancer. You must be scared:(. I'm pulling for you. I am betting that the "not knowing" all your results is a huge stressor for you right now. Hopefully, they can give you some sort of answers and results sooner rather than later so you can tackle this knowing everything you need to know. I am thinking of you. xo D Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Sh*t, SG... I was hoping you'd never have to post a thread like this. I can only echo D's comments... (((HUG))) Link to post Share on other sites
strength-abounds Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 You and your family are in my prayers. Go and kick cancer's a**!! God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 You're so very brave, sunshinegirl. t is also possible that there could be a lot of invasive tissue in there, and it may have already spread to my lymph nodes...so I could be as far along as a 'Stage 3' too. And... don't go down that route of thinking! Doctors will always give you a very worst case scenario as a possibility, because they don't want any legal action if it turns out to be worse than their prognosis. (If it turns out to be better, noone's suing anyone) In most cases, it isn't true or even likely. Link to post Share on other sites
abouttoloseit Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Hope all goes well for you Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 My thoughts are with you - be sure to keep writing. It really does help to get it out, and to have the great support here. This place helped me more than people would realize, and I hope it will help you out as well. Feel free to PM if you have any questions, concerns, curiosities, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 May God heal me, body and soul. May my pain cease, May my strength increase, May my fears be released, May blessings, love, and joy surround me. Amen. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 My heart goes out to you. I read about this on your first thread. I hope the tests turn out with little invasion I will be thinking of you and your husband. This is a difficult time for the two of you. Your attitude on these threads is admirable. Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 SSG, I'm so sorry, but I know that you will beat this thing. We will always be here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Sunshine - We are all here for you - I was diagnosed about 4 years ago at stage 2+. I had lumpectomies (I was very lumpy), radiation and chemo and have been in remission ever since. The most important thing for all of us to keep in mind is that every case is different so the course of treatment will be different for each and every case. So only you and your doctor can figure out what's best for you in YOUR case! I do agree that getting it out probably helps - I kept everything bottled up, had no support, actually kept it secret. I didn't even miss a full day of work at any point - and looking back it was really a lot tougher than it probably needed to be. So build your support system and let everyone be there for you!!!! Take care of you and let us do what we can. XXOO CNYCG Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Oh, no! I'm so sorry sunshinegirl about this news. Best of luck with it all! Blessings and hugs! xoxo Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Good luck and hang in there... Kick its ass, seabass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshinegirl Posted November 1, 2010 Author Share Posted November 1, 2010 Thank you, everyone!!! I appreciate everyone's reply and concern and good wishes, stories, and experience. This whole thing still feels really surreal because I have no physical symptoms (other than a gigantic lumpy boob) to make me feel sick. I know that that will change after surgery and whatever treatment follows that... I am somewhat scared about how bad the side effects might get since I've been healthy as a horse most of my life, and really physically active. I run marathons, I run relay races, I rock climb, I do yoga, and I have no idea how all of that will be affected in the short and long runs. We are also really concerned about my fertility. We wanted to start a family soon and those plans could be all shot to hell if I have chemo or anti-hormone therapy. We've made an appointment with a fertility specialist who deals with cancer patients, as we might need to freeze some eggs/embryos before I undergo adjuvent treatment. Which raises a whole other set of questions for us around our ethical comfort with freezing embryos and IVF. I'm getting a hell of an education, both in cancer/medical lingo and in the preciousness of life. I am actually overseas right now, doing one last business trip before my surgery, and I can't tell you how "zen" I have become about how good/how much work gets done with my client here. In the grander scheme of things, who the #?*@ cares? I really just want to stay alive. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 I understand the whole "zen" thing - it's like one foot in front of the other. You enter a zone of dealing with what's in front of you at the moment, doing the very best you can with that thing - and then moving to the next thing. You are doing great, dealing with all the right things - and clearly handling it all with grace and keeping the proper perspective. You go girl!!!! We can all learn valuable lessons from you. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) We wanted to start a family soon and those plans could be all shot to hell if I have chemo or anti-hormone therapy. They could be, yes. My oncologist and oncologic surgeon both said that my chances of conceiving would be low after chemo (I had the 'TAC' blend of chemo and was in 'chemopause' for over a year afterward - it is like menopause x10 and your periods stop) and I was talking Tamoxifen as well (they failed to mention that Tamoxifen is used as a fertility drug in other parts of the world). I was 37 when I was diagnosed and now I am 40 and nearly six months pregnant with a healthy boy, and it happened naturally (I had to quit the Tamoxifen last year because of blood clot issues). I can't breastfeed but that is literally the only leftover from the cancer days. My oncologic surgeon is keeping a close eye on me over the next 6 months since the cancer was progesterone/estrogen positive but he does not see it as a dire thing. After the baby is born, I will have my ovaries removed to avoid future complications should that cancer decide to come back. Don't lose hope about having a family - working with a specialist now is a great idea but even if you didn't there would still be hope. Edited November 1, 2010 by LucreziaBorgia Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshinegirl Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Oh wow, congratulations LB! I didn't realize you were expecting. Well, that gives me some hope! Your cancer treatment sounded pretty grueling, to be honest, so I'm so happy for you that you will soon welcome a little bundle of joy!! I have heard that docs like cancer patients to wait 2 years post diagnosis to try to get pregnant - I guess because risk of recurrence is high in that period? We'll see...still so much to learn about all of this! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 I am somewhat scared about how bad the side effects might get since I've been healthy as a horse most of my life, and really physically active. I run marathons, I run relay races, I rock climb, I do yoga, and I have no idea how all of that will be affected in the short and long runs. girl, you've unknowingly done the best preparation for your body from the minute you became active – because your body isn't battling with other issues, I'm thinking you should heal more quickly. Gravity affecting your breasts as you run is always the big issue, because of the pounding effect (no matter WHAT size), but I'm sure there's a solution out there. as scary as this must be for you, your overall health is a best-case scenario, all things considered. Well ... in MY opinion, anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 I am so sorry to hear this news and that you have to go through this. In the past 5 years 6 people I know well have had breast cancer and ALL are survivors! Try to stay positive, keep that humour going too. Everyone is different when it comes to treatment and how it'll affect you. You're incredibly strong and just know you have TONS of supporters here to help you through this. Link to post Share on other sites
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