Cherry Posted July 31, 2000 Share Posted July 31, 2000 My boyfriend once told me that after the 6 month mark, problems start to surface in the relationship. (things start to bug you that didn't before, it gets easier to annoy each other, we can't seem to talk without getting into an argument, etc.) I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to it when he brought it up, but now I'm seeing it come true. Is this normal for most relationships or are we just going through a tough time? I love him and I know he loves me but this is tough. Any suggestions to strengthen our relationship? Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 31, 2000 Share Posted July 31, 2000 Your boyfriend programmed you for such an event. There is no particular time that relationship problems start. Matter of fact, there is no reason why serious problems should ever arise if the two people are mature, considerate, thoughtful, forgiving, open minded, etc. The primary reasons for relationship problems at any stage is immaturity and an irrational approach to handling daily events. If two people are wrong for each other, problems can start the very day they meet...no waiting six months. Many divorces take place five to seven years into a marriage because one or both parties feels the passion wearing off and the relationship getting stale. The fireworks that occur when we first meet someone are not going to last forever. It takes real maturity to transform a relationship into a comfortable and contented situation that can stand the test of time. People make a decision to let things upset them. Events are completely neutral. There are many rational people that deal with heartache and disappointment in very appropriate ways without screaming, shouting and punching. Those who do have difficulties usually had parents who did not show and teach them rational approaches to life. So to answer your question, since your boyfriend truly believes this six month idea, he is programming that for his reality. But hopefully one day he will realize how insane it is to upset himself with anger and chaos, how that shortens his life, how ignorant it is to make oneself unhappy over truly stupid stuff, and then maybe he will begin to respond to life's bumps in a milder, more appropriate fashion. The way to strengthen your relationship is for both of you to realize that events don't upset you, YOU DO!!! Make the conscious decision that you are going to be kind and gentle to yourselves and not get bent out of shape over tiny, stupid things. BE HAPPY ALWAYS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts