How Often do

[stoploss11]

My SO in question is not married but lives w the baby's father. Details withheld, I just want to know some things...

 

How Often do you hear about or find pictures of your MM or MW doing things with their SO? Happy pictures or family things?

 

Does it always mean they were lying to you about being miserable?

 

Does it mean they are really in love with that person still?

 

What if the pictures were taken by the MM or MW's family?

 

and any other senerio you can think of along the same lines that would help me understand.

[pureinheart]

My SO in question is not married but lives w the baby's father. Details withheld, I just want to know some things...

 

How Often do you hear about or find pictures of your MM or MW doing things with their SO? Happy pictures or family things?

 

Does it always mean they were lying to you about being miserable?

 

Does it mean they are really in love with that person still?

 

What if the pictures were taken by the MM or MW's family?

 

and any other senerio you can think of along the same lines that would help me understand.

 

Hi Stop,

 

ExDM never had any pictures...in fact I had no idea of what any of them looked like until about 3 mo after going NC when DDay took place:rolleyes: after her knowing about me for over a year (it was a REALLY stupid sitch).

 

If she says she's miserable she probably is.

 

When I was a WS, I still had some good times partying with my now ex...hey I was high so it was no problem, yet I still didn't love him.

 

You see, where your standing, I'm thinking you have this romantic picture of them in your mind, and if you saw a picture of this wonderful homelife (or what appears to be) it would reinforce this "romantic" vision...

 

I can tell you right now if she's seeing you, something ain't right somewhere....BUT, and this is a very big but BTW, have you thought about how long you are willing to wait?

 

Have you considered all the options that are/aren't open to you? Are you thinking about your feelings?

 

My advice is to explore your feelings FIRST and try not to think about what is going on with her home life. Please do not go by what she may or may not do, or who she may or may not love...this is about you.

 

Do you want her for just you eventually?

[jj33]

My SO in question is not married but lives w the baby's father. Details withheld, I just want to know some things...

 

How Often do you hear about or find pictures of your MM or MW doing things with their SO? Happy pictures or family things?

 

First of all why are you seeing pictures other than on FB and why are you on her FB if that is the case and what do you expect them to do? Frown in the pictures? I saw tons of pictures of them at his house but they were all historical pictures and mostly of his children at various points in their lives.

 

Does it always mean they were lying to you about being miserable?

 

See above and even if she was happy isnt she allowed to extract happiness from doing fun things when she is not with you?

 

Does it mean they are really in love with that person still?

 

What if the pictures were taken by the MM or MW's family?

 

and any other senerio you can think of along the same lines that would help me understand.

 

How long have you been together and is she saying she is leaving? And if she is what steps has she taken to leave? THose are the real questions, the pictures are just a red herring.

 

Pictures are just that, pictures. You smile for the camera. People can be doing the most amazing things, it doesnt mean they dont wish you were there. But that is not really the point. If you are that jealous of her life with her family, then see above. If you want more out of the relationship and arent getting it, what is happening to make a change in the status quo.

 

If she is saying she is miserable, whats she doing about leaving? If you arent happy in the A and she is not leaving, then what are you doing to change things?

 

Dont obsess over the small details. Look at the things that make a difference. This is not an exercise in reading tea leaves. Either you are happy with the A and understand that she has a life outisde of the time she is with you, or you are not happy and have to figure out a way forward.