2sunny Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 i think you two could benefit from some marriage counseling where you can bot work on a healthy relationship. try to be honest and stop pretending with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 .... since she has been home we have had more sex in the last 8 weeks than we have in the previous 8 months. I love my wife very much, but have lost all trust from the lies. What should I do? Keep doing that until you get tired of it, then cut her loose. Hope you don't lose your ass in the divorce, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 You tipped her off. One word for you now: Keylogger. Keep doing that until you get tired of it, then cut her loose. Hope you don't lose your ass in the divorce, good luck. It always strikes me as strange how many posters on this "support" site are plainly more vested in the train wreck as opposed to any other outcome. You see it over and over again - they just can't accept that, while many spouses are fallible, those failings don't include infidelity. The "kick her to the curb" feedback here is often damaging to new posters and I'm glad Buglemn didn't have his wife GPS microchipped in her sleep or follow through on any other paranoid suggestion presented... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 It always strikes me as strange how many posters on this "support" site are plainly more vested in the train wreck as opposed to any other outcome. The train wrecked a long time ago, he already said she's "truth challenged" or more concisely, she's a lying b*tch. Why would he want to try and salvage someone who's an established liar? Get what he can and cut his losses. It's the only rational choice. Link to post Share on other sites
TheMENemy Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 It always strikes me as strange how many posters on this "support" site are plainly more vested in the train wreck as opposed to any other outcome. This rather ad hominem contention is actually rather easy to refute. You just have to remember the phrase, "selection bias," Mr. Lucky. Please don't pretend that the posters here who are troubled and seeking advice are just a random sampling of the general population. They're not. They're a pretty specific subset of people who have been cheated on; have reason to believe they've been cheated on; or have other more or less very serious relationship problems. The reason that you perceive a lot of people identifying train wrecks is because there are a lot train wrecks. At least among the people who start threads with an initial post Wife went to vegas and lied to me. Just the thread title by itself is an indication of a marriage which is already most likely a total train wreck. You see it over and over again - they just can't accept that, while many spouses are fallible, those failings don't include infidelity. OK so she bought the new sexy clothes which her husband never got to see, simply to give them away to Good Will? Lucky you seem to have a pretty obvious agenda in this thread of trying to persuade OP that he has nothing to worry about. Why is that? The "kick her to the curb" feedback here is often damaging to new posters and I'm glad Buglemn didn't have his wife GPS microchipped in her sleep or follow through on any other paranoid suggestion presented... Mr. Lucky And it's no skin off your nose if his wife boffs a hundred other guys either. That's why you're giving bad advice, your advice isn't for his benefit, it's for yours. You don't want to face the reality of infidelity obviously because you're empathizing with Bugleman for some reason. If it could happen to him, it could happen to you. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Keep doing that until you get tired of it, then cut her loose. Hope you don't lose your ass in the divorce, good luck. Wow, that's a pretty brutal statement . I wonder if you think most women act like wh***s and then suck you dry in a divorce ? Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 It always strikes me as strange how many posters on this "support" site are plainly more vested in the train wreck as opposed to any other outcome. You see it over and over again - they just can't accept that, while many spouses are fallible, those failings don't include infidelity. The "kick her to the curb" feedback here is often damaging to new posters and I'm glad Buglemn didn't have his wife GPS microchipped in her sleep or follow through on any other paranoid suggestion presented... Mr. Lucky I agree wholeheartedly. It's mind boggling how freely folks can say "she / he CHEATED" based upon one post by a person who is clearly feeling insecure. How the heck would we know? I have seen a lot of cheating in my considerable lifetime. I was in a long relationship with a compulsive serial cheater myself. Still, I have seen more damage and destruction to marriages and relationships due to chronic insecurity, mistrust, and acting out in jealousy than I have see caused by CHEATING. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 i have to admit that when i was married (20 years) and i fantasized about a man i'd been fawning over - my then H and i would have sex more often... hot, passionate sex while i was dreaming that he was the other man i fantasized about. not trying to be hurtful at all - as i've kept this to myself since the thread started - just giving you an idea of why the sex may have changed course since her return. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 i have to admit that when i was married (20 years) and i fantasized about a man i'd been fawning over - my then H and i would have sex more often... hot, passionate sex while i was dreaming that he was the other man i fantasized about. not trying to be hurtful at all - as i've kept this to myself since the thread started - just giving you an idea of why the sex may have changed course since her return. OUCH! That's quite a detached marriage...when you can't even stay present in the moment with the person you supposedly love for 20 minutes max with them...what a complete lack of emotional intimacy. But I do notice this marriage is past tense.... OP--maybe your w did wear sexy clothes and was given attention in Vegas. Maybe it simply made her realize that she IS SEXY. Maybe she brought that renewed self-esteem home and showered it all over YOU. Jumping to conclusions is the devil's work...just look at the facts. And past behavior usually tells about a person's character. If your W isn't a serial cheater, then no Napoleonic law of guilty until proven innocent. Go with innocent until proven guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 At least among the people who start threads with an initial post Wife went to vegas and lied to me. Just the thread title by itself is an indication of a marriage which is already most likely a total train wreck. Since I don't have your split posting skills (or time), I'm not going to get into a point by point discussion. My perception from the title is that his wife went out of town and there are some opportunities to address issues in his relationship. That you would take from the tiltle that his marriage is already wrecked tells me all I need to know... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
InternationalPlayboy Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 OUCH! That's quite a detached marriage...when you can't even stay present in the moment with the person you supposedly love for 20 minutes max with them...what a complete lack of emotional intimacy. But I do notice this marriage is past tense.... She's not the only one who thinks of someone else while coupling with her significant other. It's actually quite common from what I've read here and my own personal experience. It may not happen every time but it happens and there's no need to preach that it's wrong. It's a fantasy and it makes for some spice in a relationship. Not every sexual rendezvous must touch some deep, emotional and intimate place in a relationship. To paraphrase Freud - sometimes ****ing is just ****ing. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 She's not the only one who thinks of someone else while coupling with her significant other. It's actually quite common from what I've read here and my own personal experience. It may not happen every time but it happens and there's no need to preach that it's wrong. It's a fantasy and it makes for some spice in a relationship. Not every sexual rendezvous must touch some deep, emotional and intimate place in a relationship. To paraphrase Freud - sometimes ****ing is just ****ing. I suppose this is realistic of many relationships. I aspire a little higher, that's all. Seems a little insulting to my sensitive mind. Others opinions may differ and they make think me too sensitive. And it can just be monkey ****ing while still recognizing the person you are with, without the deep emotional stuff going on everytime. yes. I ask that my partner be present with me. Imagining other people, if necessary, are for the shower, alone. Also seems to me that if you need to imagine your partner is somebody else, something's not very hot in the love-making dept. And I didn't preach whatsoever. To each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 OP, I asked this question in your other thread and didn't receive an answer. As this thread appears to be more popular, I'll ask here: How many hours a week, on average, does your wife train for marathons? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 OP, I asked this question in your other thread and didn't receive an answer. As this thread appears to be more popular, I'll ask here: How many hours a week, on average, does your wife train for marathons? 20 Hrs/wk, but I'm not going to search.... Seemed an awful long time for training. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Thanks TDP, now that I think of it, I do recall reading that number somewhere. Yes, here it is 20 hours or more per week, often with her brother's wife, presumably (SIL). Link to post Share on other sites
TheMENemy Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Thanks TDP, now that I think of it, I do recall reading that number somewhere. Yes, here it is 20 hours or more per week, often with her brother's wife, presumably (SIL). Wow you have mastered the art of the indirect. A tip of the hat sir. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buglemn Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 12 to 20 hr per week depending on where shes at on her schedule. She trains with her brother and sister-in-law. Runs everyday except Sun. & Thurs. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Bugle... i think since you want to believe your wife so much that you are willing to overlook obvious (to those of us that aren't emotionally involved) red flags... then just move forward with her. just keep in mind that she's shown evidence that she's not the woman you thought she was given the evidence of what she has done and worn that seems out of her "normal" character. even knowing something new won't change this outcome - since you have stated that IF she had done something (indiscretions) that you would never leave her anyway... so.... take the lumps as she dishes them out and know that you live without her truth and you love her either way. Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Does she shower as soon as she gets home? Hahaha. No kidding. She went to LV and got rode like Secretariat, no two ways about it. Up to the OP whether he cares, but damn .... Link to post Share on other sites
goingstrong Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 12 to 20 hr per week depending on where shes at on her schedule. She trains with her brother and sister-in-law. Runs everyday except Sun. & Thurs. Does it appear as if she runs in marathons? I have a friend whose wife "trained for marathons" with a male associate. All of us firiends said that she didn't look like a marathon runner and just kept on getting fatter....needless to say, they are now divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 (edited) I really hope that solid evidence emerges soon that proves that Buglmn's wife cheated on him in Vegas. His life will be trashed but hey, at least you guys will be happy and have plenty of new fuel for your classy "rode like Secretariat" and "sex marathon" contributions to his thread... Mr. Lucky Edited November 12, 2010 by Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I have the evidence right here. Note the guilty look on her face Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I have the evidence right here. Note the guilty look on her face LOL ! Horsey-sex ! Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I really hope that solid evidence emerges soon that proves that Buglmn's wife cheated on him in Vegas. His life will be trashed but hey, at least you guys will be happy and have plenty of new fuel for your classy "rode like Secretariat" and "sex marathon" contributions to his thread... Mr. Lucky Repeated lies are enough, the probable sex is just extra credit. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I really hope that solid evidence emerges soon that proves that Buglmn's wife cheated on him in Vegas. His life will be trashed but hey, at least you guys will be happy and have plenty of new fuel for your classy "rode like Secretariat" and "sex marathon" contributions to his thread... Mr. Lucky I hope the OP listens to Mr. Lucky and ignores those who are so, so invested in poking at his wounded confidence. I'm horrified at some of you fellow LS'ers. But Carhill - haha! Link to post Share on other sites
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