BlockHead Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 SoleMate The funny thing is that looks are not fixed at birth. Stay fit, don't overeat, exercise, stand up straight, smile, bathe, brush your teeth, dress neatly/well, act polite, be interested in other people...and funny, you tend to look good.Not everybody is born with lots of resources or a genetic advantage. No matter how hard they work, there are people that will never have charm, intelligence, good looks, perfect health, or wealth. Natural selection? Maybe a good compromise would be to use one man for genetic material, and another man for his resources. There would also be a few on the side for gratification. purpleknif67 I have also met some physically fantastic looking men who upon opening their mouth become very, very ugly very, very quickly...I came across some women that I found absolutely revolting after a few minutes of talking. Like a deer in headlights, I froze in the situations, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Is there a quick, subtle, and legal way to get rid of a person without a wingman? ladies Don’t get too excited. Your reactions might convince him to remove his picture. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 I have to agree with everyone who says looks do matter. There does have to be some sort of physical attraction. IT then grows from there. But I think the thing is, is that as I have grown older, I can base things more on PERSONALITY. than looks. And Kevin, youre ugly. I dont understand why everyone thinks your so hot Sorry, had to bring your head back down from the clouds for a second there. Youre not ugly Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 i think seeing somebody who's not-too-hot is actually good for the development of a real relationship because it's easier to hold off the physical part, you're not busy keeping yourself from jumping him/her. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
dolphinsunshyn Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 basically, I have dated for looks. It hasn't gotten me anywhere! I'm starting to date for substance now. Although the only single guys around here with "sunstance" are old fat bald geezers! LOL Geez....maybe I'll just become lesbian! By the way, Kevin, you look like my ex boyfriend! Although, I can see by your posts you have a LOT more intelegence and sunstance! The best of both worlds! >wink< LOL Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 old fat bald geezers One of my good friends always liked the hunky football-player/movie star type guy. Wanted nothing to do with guys who were bald or a little pudgy or short. She's just passed her eighth anniversary with a guy who was losing his hair, had a few extra pounds on, and wasn't tall at all. They adore each other. It's the man INSIDE that you love, she found out. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 moimeme, i think few people KNOW what they REALLY want. have you seen Tarkovski's "Mirror"? i think it was mirror that's about this. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 have you seen Tarkovski's "Mirror" Nope. I'll look out for it. i think few people KNOW what they REALLY want They think they know what they want so they pass up possibilities sometimes - and it's their loss. Besides, bald guys have more testosterone ergo more sex drive! BTW, my friend's pudgy guy lost the weight, started exercising, and became intent on living a healthier life. Now it's him encouraging her to exercise!! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 I agree, Kev. I look for magazines with attractive covers but it's the content on the first page that determines whether or not I keep reading. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Ppl will refuse options even though they're drawn to them, because the person doesn't fit some kind of list or their friends/family may not like them or some other criteria This is the one thing i'm very glad i've always done in my personal relationships - if i felt drawn, i didn't avoid it, even if it smelled like trouble. In retrospect, one (well - I) can usually see why precisely this or that person came into my life - i can see how they fit into the picture. But while it's the present, there's no way to really make sense of it. I should admit that I've had a few drinks - and blame my incoherence on that -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted March 7, 2004 Author Share Posted March 7, 2004 Folks coming onto me on the internet is a VERY different thing from folks coming onto me in real life. I ain't refuting ANY compliments. I love'em all and appreciate the hell out of every single one. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by carla I think amasinglywow said it all. I usually go for the medyocer guys. The good looking ones are usually jerks and think that they are gods gift (Except UCKevin ) The really not so hot guys are maybe really nice guys but lets face it, you need some kind of spark to get a hot sizzling love going. The guys that are cute but not drop dead gorgeous are the safest bet. i agree kevin, looks do get you through the door...everything else counts on personality. whether it be with girls or guys or a job interview, i think it practically applies everywehre Carla: the good looking ones are jerks cause we were forced to be one. I used to be somewhat of a nice guy, but now i find myself acting a little jerk like sometimes. YOu guys say you want someone that treats you good, in reality you dont even know what you want, thats why most girls will fall for jerks in the end. Even tho some of you may say that looks dont matter, but in the end, it WILL have a subconscious/psychological effect on your decision making. For me, i'd say yes it matters to a certain extent, most ppl in this world are decent looking, added with their personality i will like them as a person. but i'd say in a relationship, there must exist physical + intellectual attraction for chemistry to exist. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by monkey00 the good looking ones are jerks cause we were forced to be one. YOu guys say you want someone that treats you good, in reality you dont even know what you want, thats why most girls will fall for jerks in the end. I find your generalizations hysterical. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 i was pleased by the grammatical implication of the borg in the first quotation. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by jenny i was pleased by the grammatical... no kiddin'? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 most girls will fall for jerks in the end. It's all about attitude, babe. This one SUX. Link to post Share on other sites
greyskies Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Think Kevin is very nice looking but I go for pencil neck geeks that everyone asks me "What are you doing with him?" When I first get with a guy like this he is a geek but by the time I get done with him hes a casanova. ROTFLMFAO because its true wish I could show before and after pictures its really great. Sometimes I hate myself in the end because they always end up thinking now that im hot im outta here. Creeps! :lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 greyskies, you'd love pygmalion, either the myth or the play! i never thought of a geek as galatea, but, why not? Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 >>>Carla: the good looking ones are jerks cause we were forced to be one. I used to be somewhat of a nice guy, but now i find myself acting a little jerk like sometimes. <<< Brother Monk, You're reading David D'Angelo a little too much, dude. Women don't want @ssholes (well, the needy ones do, but that's a different story). Women want a decent guy who can be an @sshole when he has to be, even if it means being an @sshole to her. But there's a big difference between the first guy and the second. The first guy is basically a manifestation of insecurity, except rather than being needy, he's going to the opposite extreme by being controlling, manipulative, surly. The second guy exudes what women really want, which is confidence. A confident guy is a guy who doesn't have to play games or manipulate his woman to keep her (you have to use a little technique once in a while, but that's different than playing meaningless headgames). A confident guy is happy with himself, regardless of what she or anyone else thinks of him. You can't allow yourself to be bitter, Monk. You just have to read the signs and take what's given to you. Tonight, for example, I just got back from a date. It was okay, but I doubt there's gonna be a second one. For one thing she turned out to be a little younger than I thought she was initially (I can't always tell with Asian women). I think when I told her that I was ten years older I spooked her a little. Oh well...whatever. I'm not bitter about it. I actually had a decent time. It's on to Tuesday and Wednesday night. That's the attitude you have to have. That's confidence. That's what women want. I'm not trying to piss you off, but you're thinking like the guy who sits in the corner of the bar with a drink in his hand and frown on his face. I've been there before and know how you feel, but it all starts with attitude. Chicks can see it in you before you see it in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 YOU WRITE: "Women don't want @ssholes (well, the needy ones do, but that's a different story). Women want a decent guy who can be an @sshole when he has to be, even if it means being an @sshole to her. But there's a big difference between the first guy and the second. The first guy is basically a manifestation of insecurity, except rather than being needy, he's going to the opposite extreme by being controlling, manipulative, surly. The second guy exudes what women really want, which is confidence. A confident guy is a guy who doesn't have to play games or manipulate his woman to keep her (you have to use a little technique once in a while, but that's different than playing meaningless headgames). A confident guy is happy with himself, regardless of what she or anyone else thinks of him." Not only is what you wrote very true but you seem to have said it about as good as it's been said in this forum to date. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 isn't it exactly the same for men, gender reversed? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by Tony YOU WRITE: "Women don't want @ssholes (well, the needy ones do, but that's a different story). Women want a decent guy who can be an @sshole when he has to be, even if it means being an @sshole to her. But there's a big difference between the first guy and the second. The first guy is basically a manifestation of insecurity, except rather than being needy, he's going to the opposite extreme by being controlling, manipulative, surly. The second guy exudes what women really want, which is confidence. A confident guy is a guy who doesn't have to play games or manipulate his woman to keep her (you have to use a little technique once in a while, but that's different than playing meaningless headgames). A confident guy is happy with himself, regardless of what she or anyone else thinks of him." Not only is what you wrote very true but you seem to have said it about as good as it's been said in this forum to date. Thanks! Very well said, Americajin. I salute you! ~Vivid_29 Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Originally posted by yes isn't it exactly the same for men, gender reversed? -yes Probably, accept for the a**h*** part. For me, I tend to lean more towards the gentle and sensitive, catholic school good girls, whom aren't afraid to jump all over my s**t when I'm being a dick! I don't like it when women are bitchy just to be a bitch or they act like a bitch to get their way. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Domo arigatou gozaimas***a, 'bibido-san!' 'Toni-san!' And yes, you're right "yes", it goes both ways. I only say "girls are" this and that because I speak from Monk's perspective as a guy. But yes, I think guys, too, want a woman who's basically nice but not afraid to turn on the b!tch when she has to be. In the end, it's about respect. You can't respect someone who's nice to you no matter what. You may think they're nice, but you don't respect them. I mean, you might very well respect them as people, but you won't respect them as an equal in your relationship. I've been on both sides of that coin, as someone who's made himself a doormat and as someone who's given me the opportunity to use them in a like manner. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 ... and sometimes you can tell the guy is never going to be an a**h***, no matter what you do, very early on - from that clingy-style constant niceness he's exhuding. (same deal for girls, i'm sure) but really, i think the time to think about whether or not a r/s can go anywhere is not until after the first argument/fight. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Vivid_29 I don't like it when women are bitchy just to be a bitch or they act like a bitch to get their way.I don’t like women on a power trip, women that tend to flip-out, and I don’t like emotional roller coasters. amerikajin You can't respect someone who's nice to you no matter what.I think a person can be nice without yielding to another. For example, she starts giving you commands. 1. I can ignore the commands, and continue to be polite. Then again, she could be a slow learner, and continue that behavior indefinitely. Doing the opposite could become a form of reverse psychology. 2. “What did you say?” Does she have the audacity to repeat the command? 3. I can argue with her. Wow, I just stood up to a piece of trash. Maybe my time would have been better spent elsewhere. Of course, I wouldn’t see action from her. 4. Ditch her. Maybe this is premature, and I could be missing out on something, but sometimes, it is better to pull the plug. 5. Tighten the bolts in her neck. I wish it were that easy. I don't see how standing up to her will help. Being polite, but not yielding seems like a better approach. Note: Anger can be seen as a sign of weakness becuase it just gives her another button to push. Link to post Share on other sites
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